Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 9, 2008
based on 3 ratings
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I Want my Dollar
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Redneck says, ''I want my $20 million.'' The man replied, ''No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We will give you a million today and then you'll get the rest
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based on 42 ratings
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Larry Walters bought 45 helium filled weather balloons and tied them to a lawn chair. With parachute, sandwich, and B.B. gun he was intent on flying (a couple hundred feet he thought). Before he was ready, the rope broke or came loose from his jeep to which he was tied. He rocketed into the sky,
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Baptist
Contributed by Paul Fritz on Dec 3, 2001
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A murderer broke into an old couple’s bedroom. Before he pulled the trigger on his victims, he always made a point of asking them their names. When he asked the woman for her name, she said, "Elizabeth." The man with the gun said, "Oh, I can’t shoot you because that is my mother’s name." Then he
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Mark Armstrong on Jun 2, 2009
The apostle’s teaching is that life for the non-Christian is a living death. He is spiritually dead […] There is no stronger term than ‘death’. How categorical he is! You cannot say anything beyond saying that a man is dead. It is not ‘almost dead’, he is actually dead; it is not desperately ‘ill’,
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Gregg Bitter on Jan 3, 2010
The rhino calf was taking a drink at the water hole. The tiger leaped at it. Soon the calf would have been ripped to shreds. But the mother rhinoceros charges out of the tall grass and drives the tiger away with her horn. "He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant
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Lutheran
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Sep 17, 2011
IN APPRECIATION
In Enterprise, Alabama, you will see one of the most unusual monuments ever built. It is a monument to honor the boll weevil, the little insect that nearly destroyed the cotton on which the town's economy depended.
Why a monument to so destructive an insect? Because before the
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Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Mar 12, 2012
INFINITE WISDOM
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean, "In return for your unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward you with your choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty."
"Give me infinite wisdom!" declares the dean, without hesitation.
Done!" says the
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Independent/Bible
I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE!
There was a pastor that was giving a "children’s sermon" to all the young children. And as they sate before him, a bright-eyed three-year-old girl listened intently as he explained that God wanted them all to get along and love each other. "God wants us all to be one," he
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Jun 6, 2007
Long ago a poor woman from the slums of London was invited to go with a group of people for a holiday at the ocean.
She had never seen the ocean before, and when she did see it, she burst into tears. Those around her thought it strange that she should cry when such a lovely holiday had been
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
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There are two (2) African tribes who have an unusual way of expressing thanks One of them, the Masai tribe, a pastoral and hunting people of Kenya and Tanzania, West Africa, bow and put their foreheads on the ground, and say, "My head is in the dirt." The other tribe, whose name I do not know, sit
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Contributed by Don Hawks on Jun 22, 2007
The teachings of John Wesley were very instrumental in my identifying with the United Methodist approach to practicing the Christian life. Wesley of course was an 18th-century Anglican clergyman and Christian theologian who was an early leader in the Methodist movement. In addition to Wesley’s
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 25, 2008
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My friend Agnes is an accomplished harpist who frequently plays for weddings, receptions, parties and other such events. She is also blond and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, and stepped into an elevator with her large golden
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
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