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In Sermon Illustrations: "Think Before You Speak"

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  • A Man Once Hired His New Son-In-Law To Build Him ...  PRO

    Contributed by Robert Mitchell on Apr 16, 2008
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,857 views

    A man once hired his new son-in-law to build him a house. The man told his son-in-law that the house was going to be a surprise for his wife for their 30th anniversary, and he did not want him to spare any expense in building it. The son-in-law was already a cheap man who made his living ripping ...read more

  • We Need To Be Like The 84 Year Old Grandmother ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jeff Strite on Mar 15, 2002
    based on 144 ratings
     | 2,277 views

    We need to be like the 84 year old grandmother who fiercely maintained her independence and lived alone in the old family home. Her 4 children lived in the same town, but she rarely called them except in emergencies. It was with some apprehension, therefore, that one of her sons drove to her ...read more

  • Stolen Billfold  PRO

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 21, 2002
    based on 10 ratings
     | 5,305 views

    Stolen Billfold John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker. As they rode along, he began to be suspicious of his passenger. John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn’t there! So he slammed on the ...read more

  • Thanksgiving List  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 12, 2002
    based on 18 ratings
     | 8,420 views

    THANKSGIVING LIST Here is a list of things housewives are most thankful for: "For automatic dishwashers because they make it possible for us to get out of the kitchen before the family comes back in for their after-dinner snacks. For husbands who attack small repair jobs around the house ...read more

  • Two Fellows Meet In Florida. One Says: 'i Went ...  PRO

    Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Sep 29, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,766 views

    Two fellows meet in Florida. One says: ’I went fishing last week and caught a herring that weighed 450 pounds. The other guy looks at him and says: ’I too was fishing last week, and I didn’t catch anything, but I pulled up the hook, and standing on the hook was a lantern from an old ship. God only ...read more

  • Snow Storms

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on May 26, 2005
     | 4,578 views

    Snow Storms Just getting out of the driveway was a major feat during last year’s snow and ice storms. One co-worker was relating how he used his seven-year-old son’s baseball bat to smash the slick coat of ice on his driveway. He got cold and went inside for a cup of coffee before attempting to ...read more

  • When Napoleon Of France Fought Wellington Of ...

    Contributed by Timothy Smith on Feb 4, 2006
     | 1,538 views

    When Napoleon of France fought Wellington of England, all England waited patiently for word of the decisive battle at Waterloo. When the message came to London it was relayed by the flags on top of the Winchester cathedral. The flags on the cathedral began to spell it out: "Wellington defeated..." ...read more

  • Brendon Manning Tells About Hearing The 5 Step Of ...

    Contributed by Don Berry-Graham on Oct 23, 2006
     | 1,464 views

    Brendon Manning tells about hearing the 5 step of an alchohic and then getting a note from that same person the next day. It read: Dear Jesus, in thankgiving for what You have done for me, I will make known to my brothers and sisters how kind You are toward sinners, and that Your mercy prevails ...read more

  • I Remember Saying This Very Clearly As A Young ...

    Contributed by Andrew Moffatt on Sep 10, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,947 views

    I remember saying this very clearly as a young man “Well God I’m pleased that I have Jesus in my life but I’d like to try it on my own before I really give my whole life over, and this was even after publicly declaring Jesus as my Lord and saviour. How thick I was, you see even Kings who have ...read more

  • Lincoln's Planned Treatment Of Southerners After ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 10, 2010
     | 3,722 views

    Lincoln’s Planned Treatment of Southerners After the Civil War Likened to God’s Forgiveness of Our Sins Abraham Lincoln was interviewed by someone right before the end of the Civil War. The reporter said “What are you going to do to those rebellious southerners after the war is over? How are you ...read more

  • Insuring Your Voice

    Contributed by John Perry on Dec 13, 2010
     | 2,746 views

    INSURING YOUR VOICE Friends of George Burns have always kidded him about his singing. Burns, a master of self-deprecating humour, decided to take advantage of this and insure his voice for a million dollars. He thought it would be a wonderful publicity stunt. "I was so excited," said Burns, "I ...read more

  • Lucille Ball On What's Wrong With Families

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 29, 2012
     | 4,840 views

    LUCILLE BALL ON WHAT’S WRONG WITH FAMILIES Lucille Ball, shortly before her death, did a remarkable TV interview with Merv Griffin. He asked her a very serious and pointed question: "Lucille, you’ve lived a long time on this earth and you are a wise person. What’s happened to our country? What’s ...read more

  • Upon Entering A Little Country Store, A Stranger ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,427 views

    Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, “Danger Beware of Dog” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. The stranger asked the store manager (sarcastically), “Is that the dog folks are ...read more

  • Years Ago There Was A Book Written. It Was ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,309 views

    Years ago there was a book written. It was written by a pastor from Topeka, Kansas. His name was Charles Sheldon. The name of the book was, “In His Steps”. The sub-title of the book was, “What Would Jesus Do?” I have in my hand an 1899 edition of the that book. The premise of the book has not ...read more

  • I Have Several Pocketknives At Home. I've Come To ...

    Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 1, 2007
     | 1,599 views

    I have several pocketknives at home. I’ve come to find that there are certain ways to handle a knife, especially when it’s open. Closed, I can toss it, stick it in my pocket, or squeeze it in my hand. It does very little harm. But open, it becomes a fierce weapon with the ability to injure or even ...read more

  • Prognosis Not Good  PRO

    Contributed by Rev Dr Randall M Deal Sr on Mar 16, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,458 views

    PROGNOSIS NOT GOOD A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "if you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die." 1. "Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood." 2."At lunch ...read more

  • This Is A Picture Of Johnny. Johnny's Mother Saw ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Apr 14, 2008
     | 1,431 views

    This is a picture of Johnny. Johnny’s mother saw him playing church with the family cat. The cat was sitting there quietly while Johnny preached his sermon to the cat. Johnny’s mother smiled and went back to her work. A little while later, she heard a huge commotion where Johnny was supposed to ...read more

  • Moving Mountains A Figure Of Speech

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 11, 2025
     | 541 views

    The imagery of a mountain is HYPERBOLE. Zechariah 4:7a, “Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubabel you shall become a plain.” "The Jews used to set out those teachers among them, that were more eminent for the profoundness of their learning, or the splendour of their virtues, by such ...read more

  • Seven Things To Be Thankful For At Christmas

    Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Oct 24, 2025
     | 157 views

    Seven Things To Be Thankful For at Christmas * for automatic dishwashers. They make it possible to get out of the kitchen before the family come in for their after-dinner snacks. * for husbands who attack small repair jobs around the house. They usually make them big enough to call in ...read more

  • Girolamo Savonarola

    Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Oct 24, 2025
     | 160 views

    At the very start of his ministry there, Savonarola noticed an elderly woman who used to come and pray regularily before that statue of the Virgin Mary. One day, he took an elderly priest aside who had been serving in the cathedral for many years and said, "Look how devoted this woman is. ...read more