In Sermon Illustrations: "thanksgiving humor" showing 421-440 of 807

Jesus Gives Pony Rides When You Miss Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 31, 2021

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Annie stayed home from church with her mother. When the rest of the family returned home, they were carrying palm branches. Annie asked them what they were for. “People held them over Jesus’ head as he rode by on a colt,” her father ...read more

Tags: Children, Humor, Palm Sunday, Children's Stories

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Prodigal Son In The Key Of F

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 14, 2022

Feeling footloose and frisky, a foolish fellow forced his father to fork over his fourth of the family farthings and flew far to a foreign field where he fast frittered his father's fortune feasting foolishly with faithless friends. Fleeced by his fellows and folly, and facing famine he found ...read more

Tags: Prodigal Son, Humor, Repentance, Parables, Lost  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Things That Mom Would Never Say!!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 5, 2022

THINGS THAT MOM WOULD NEVER SAY.... 1) “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” 2) “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot myself when I was your age!” 3) “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.” 4) “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introductions, Mothers, Mother's Day, Humor

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Misunderstandings Can Be Hilarious

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 6, 2022

Misunderstandings happen all the time. Here are some: My toddler was about to hit her head on a bar at the playground, so I told her to duck. She quacked at me and then hit her head. A guy ran into a service station and said he needed some 710. They had no idea what he was talking about. So he ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-11

Tags: Humor, Too Literal, Literal, Misunderstanding, Miscommunication  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Once Shaved, Always Shaved!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 23, 2022

After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small southern town decided he had been doing that long enough. He told his wife that from then on he’d let the local barber shave him each day.The man went to the barbershop which was owned by the pastor of the local Baptist church. ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:28-39, 1 John 5:10-13

Tags: Salvation, Grace, Jokes, Humor, Eternal Security  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

An Old Man's Revenge

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 23, 2022

An old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first biker approached the old man, threw his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then took a seat at the counter. Then, a second biker walked over to the old man, spit into his glass of milk, and then ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 1:1-10

Tags: Revenge, Mercy, Legalism, Justice, Humor, Grace  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Funny Marriage Sermon-Starter

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 23, 2022

An 80 year-old woman was recently married to her 4th husband. A reporter questioned the occupation of her newly acquired husband. She replied that he owned a funeral home. Curious about the other husbands, the reporter also asked about their occupations. The woman paused for a while and stated ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:18-31

Tags: Humor, Husbands, Death, Marriage, Widows, Wives  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I've Got To Get Grandma On One Of These Machines!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 29, 2022

Grandpa was way up in years before he ever had the opportunity to go to an airport. He also had never seen an escalator in his life. He stood in amazement watching the escalator go up and down for the longest tme. Then, just as he was about to leave, he saw a whole bus-load of ladies from the ...read more

Tags: Love, Marriage, Spouses, Humor, Agape, Christmas  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Baptist Kittens

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 5, 2023

A Church of Christ minister walked past a street corner stand that was full of kittens for sale by a little boy in his neighborhood. The sign over the kittens read, "Church of Christ kittens for sale, one week old.....$5.00 each". The minister smiled and said, "My son, you are ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 16:18

Tags: Truth, Humor, Baptists, Church, Church Of Christ  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Behold, I Cometh!

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Aug 21, 2023

Once a pastor was frustrated because his church seemed dead and unenthusiastic. He attended a pastor’s conference for encouragement. The keynote speaker suggests sitting down quietly and creating suspense. Speak on the second coming of Christ. Then stand to the pulpit and raise your hand and shout ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Tags: Meeting, Preacher Joke, Enthusiasm, Humor, Fellowship  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

The Desire For Love

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Aug 8, 2024

The Desire for Love Humor: A couple who had been chatting online for weeks finally met on their first date. After an expensive meal in an upscale restaurant, the lady plucked a daisy from the flower arrangement on the table, pulling the pedals off one by one. She repeated to herself, “He loves me, ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 4:5, 1 John 5:4-5, 1 John 5:10, James 4:4, John 15:19  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Love, Romance, Humor, Priorities, Love Of World  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

A Father And His Son Were Seated At The Dining ...  PRO

Contributed by Steven Chapman on Mar 26, 2001

A father and his son were seated at the dining room table, while the mother was finishing the final preparations on the family’s dinner. While the father and son were seated, the father asked the son if he would say the prayer for the meal. The youngster nodded his head, and said that he would ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Tags: Dinner, Prayer Adoration, Prayer, Thanksgiving Holiday, Joy  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

"I Love You, Daddy. Amen."

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 14, 2014

James Dobson tells of the time he was away on a business trip. While he was away, and his wife and 2 children were sitting down to eat, his wife turned to their two year old son Ryan and asked if he would like to pray before he and sister ate. The invitation startled the little boy, but he folded ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 4:4-5

Tags: Thanksgiving, Children, Fathers Day, Prayer Before Meals

Following The Sunday Morning Service, The Pastor ...  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Apr 18, 2002

Following the Sunday morning service, the pastor stood at the back of the church, shaking hands with the worshipers as they left. As one man shook hands, he looked intently at the pastor and said, "Powerful sermons, Pastor. Thoughtful, well researched. I can always see myself in them…and I want ...read more

Scripture: Mark 10:17-22, John 15:1

Tags: Leadership, Humor, Growth In Christ, Holy Spirit Attributes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

God Is Missing!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 15, 2020

Two young boys in a Christian school had been continually mis-behaving and were sent to the principal’s office on several occasions. The principal knew what they really needed was to have God in their lives, so she brought the first boy in and set him down. “I want to ask you a question. Where is ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30, Psalm 46:10, John 3:16, Romans 5:8

Tags: Humor, God's Love, Guilt, Unconfessed Sin, Confusion  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Is Jonah In Heaven Or Not?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

Atheist to girl: “You don’t believe there is a real Jonah who was swallowed by a whale do you? No one believes that stuff any more!” Girl – “I sure do, and when I get to Heaven, I’m going to find Jonah and talk to him about it!" Then the atheist laughed and said mockingly, “And what if ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Humor, Miracles, Atheists, Bible, Faith, Jonah, Preaching  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Good News, Bad News Laughs

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

Good News: You baptised seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The women's group voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Bad News: They are ...read more

Tags: Jokes, Sermons, Sermon Introductions, Humor, Pastors, Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Praying The Alphabet!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 12, 2022

A father walked by his daughter’s bedroom door which was cracked just enough so that he could see that she was kneeling beside her bed in prayer. Interested to find out what subjects a child would bring before God, he paused and listened. He was puzzled though to hear her reciting the alphabet: ...read more

Tags: Prayer, Humor, Lord's Prayer, Jokes, Needs, Children  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Here's A Funny New Approach To Evangelism!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 10, 2022

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So. the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door." Soon after ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:8

Tags: Barbers, Evangelism, Gospel, Humor, Sermon Intro, Witnessing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Where I Used To Go To Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 4, 2022

A man was stranded on a deserted Pacific island for years. Finally, one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper’s attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After a while the sailor asks, ...read more

Tags: Worship, Strife, Division, Church Splits, Church, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational