Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
NEWSPAPER MISPRINTS
It does not take a lot to cause misunderstandings. Just listen to these misprints from local newspapers.
From the Chichester Evening News: "Miss Hampshire ... is friendly, likeable, and easy to talk to. She has a fine, fair skin, which she admits ruefully comes out in freckles
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Brethren
Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Apr 23, 2012
based on 1 rating
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BAPTISM LONG AGO
Centuries ago the circumstances of one's baptism would come on Easter eve at midnight. In the semidarkness, he or she would disrobe and descend into the waters to be immersed three times, in the name of the Father, then the Son, and finally the Holy Spirit. The newly baptized
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Contributed by Tim Smith on Jan 6, 2013
STRESSED OUT SANTA
A shopping mall Santa Claus in California had a meltdown after refusing to cuddle a bawling toddler, calling the mother evil and ripping off his beard and costume in front of startled children. Kelly Fornatoro, 33, said she told Santa her 19 month old son, Brian, would stop
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Methodist
An old farmer who was a loyal, church-going Christian was spending the day in a large city. He entered a restaurant and sat down at the table near a group of young men from the city. When his meal was brought to the table, the farmer quietly bowed his head and said grace.
One of the smart-aleck
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Ken Gire writes, “Where you would have expected angels, there were only flies. Where you would have expected heads of state, there were only donkeys, a few haltered cows, a nervous ball of sheep, a tethered camel, & a furtive scurry of curious mice. Except for Joseph, there was no one to share
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 2, 2008
The father of a small boy would occasionally sneak into a neighbor’s orchard and pluck some of the choicest fruit. He always made sure, however, that "the coast was clear." One day with his son tagging along, after carefully looking in every direction and seeing no one, he crept through the fence.
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Contributed by Brian Harvison on Apr 7, 2008
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Does this mean that bad kids = bad parents? Of course not.
1. Today’s society has this “Blame someone else” mentality.
a. “I spilt this McDonald’s coffee on myself, it was to hot”
b. Lets sue the tobacco companies for giving people cancer.
c. Lets sue the gun manufacturers for gun violence.
2.
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Baptist
Contributed by Glenn Durham on Apr 8, 2008
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The family sat down at the table and dad asked his young son to “say grace” over the meal. While the family waited, the little boy quickly eyed every dish which his mother had prepared; then he bowed his head and prayed, “Lord, I don’t like the look of it, but thank you — I’ll eat it anyway.”
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
“WHEN THE 6’4" 250 POUND GIANT OF A MAN LYNDON JOHNSON WAS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, HE WAS ON THE TARMAC OF AN AIR FORCE BASE, VISITING THE TROOPS IN VIETNAM IN 1965 AND HE WAS BEING ESCORTED TO HIS HELICOPTER BY A LOWLY CORPORAL. THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS, THERE WERE HUNDREDS OF HELICOPTERS
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
Pastor Jack Hyles once wrote that, “When the average person thinks of eternal life, the first thing that would enter into his mind is endless life. Certainly endless life is included in eternal life, but there is far more than endlessness to eternal life. It is not only endless, but it is
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Contributed by Todd Brock on Nov 13, 2008
One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
based on 3 ratings
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THE CROSS
The Son sets us free by becoming a curse for us and thereby removing the curse from us, by taking all our guilt on Himself thereby clearing us of guilt, and by "binding the Strongman" through His death, thereby setting us free from Satan's kingdom. Oh, what a cross!
Alexander Whyte "It
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Sermon Central