In Sermon Illustrations: "Preacher Jokes"

I Don't Want To Be A Fireman

Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Apr 20, 2011

I DON'T WANT TO BE A FIREMAN I recall a conversation I once had with a precocious little boy we once had in the church I pastored for 10 years in Wiesbaden. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. "Well," he replied, "I don't want to be a fireman." I'd never had a kid tell me what ...read more

Tags: Discipleship

Denomination: Baptist

Who Will Do The Need-Meeting?

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 11, 2011

WHO WILL DO THE NEED-MEETING? One preacher told of shopping at the supermarket when a lady came down the aisle heading straight for him. She screeched to a halt within a few feet of him, wagged her finger, and said, "I left your church. I left your church". So I said, "Well, if it’s my church, I ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 2:1-5

Tags: Church Body Of Christ

Spurgeon On Truth And The Spirit

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 20, 2011

SPURGEON ON TRUTH AND THE SPIRIT The great 19th century British preacher, Charles Spurgeon, made a wonderful analogy about the Holy Spirit’s role in leading us into God’s truth: "Truth may be compared to a cave or grotto, with wondrous stalactites reaching from the roof, and others reaching from ...read more

Scripture: John 16:5-15

Tags: Holy Spirit In Believers

Invalids' Prayers Bring Revival  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 4, 2011

INVALIDS' PRAYERS BRING REVIVAL Max Lucado told of a church in Scotland back in the 1940s that was struggling to keep the doors open. A couple of its members were two older ladies who were invalids and couldn’t get out for worship any longer. But these ladies refused to allow their infirmities to ...read more

Scripture: James 5:13-20

Tags: Prayer Persistence, Serving

Call Sin Something Else, Please?

Contributed by Eugene Morell on Jul 1, 2012

CALL SIN SOMETHING ELSE, PLEASE? There is a story about a Methodist preacher who often spoke on the subject of sin. He defined sin as that abominable thing that God hates. One day some of the leading laymen came to urge their pastor to stop using the word sin. The laymen told their pastor that ...read more

Tags: Sin General

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Death And Resurrection

Contributed by David Simpson on Jan 15, 2013

Our son, John learned a valuable lesson about death when he was a child. One day he took aim with his new BB gun at a little bird sitting on a limb near our back deck. He aimed and fired and hit his target and the bird collapsed to the ground. Dead. At first there was the excitement of being a ...read more

Scripture: John 14:19

Tags: Death, Resurrection

Denomination: Christian Church

Jesus Loves The Little Children

Contributed by Davon Huss on Oct 24, 2014

I had a preacher friend, Carl Etchinson, who had several children. These children grew up and then began having children so Carl had many grandchildren. One of his sons was having another baby. The baby was born late at night and Carl’s son did not call Carl. They forgot the next morning to ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 3:1

Tags: God The Father, Heavenly Father

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Calling - Story About Peter Marshall

Contributed by J Jeffrey Smead on Nov 7, 2023

In her book, ...A Man Called Peter, ...Catherine Marshall ...tells how her late preacher-husband ...felt a sense of destiny ... a sense of call ...in his life. (Pause) One dark night, ...Peter, ...then a young man, ...decided to take a Shortcut ...across the Scottish moors. Customize this ...read more

Scripture: John 1:43-51, 1 Samuel 3:1-20

Tags: Plan, Purpose, Master, Calling

Denomination: Anglican

To One It’s Monday To Another It’s Wednesday

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 11, 2020

Time goes so fast at times that I do not always remember what day it is. I get so busy trying to get my work done that I forget if it’s Monday or Friday. It is a good thing I am getting older because I have a built-in excuse for forgetting what day it is. Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 15:13

Tags: Happiness, Joy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What It Was, Was A Peach Tree

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 15, 2020

For some reason, this week, I had been thinking of my maternal grandfather. I was named after him, and therefore we had a connection. I was thinking about him because this month I turned the same age as he was when he passed. I hope there's no connection there. As a young boy, I would spend a ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:23

Tags: Faith, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doing Nothing Is Harder Than I Thought

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 29, 2020

After being so long in a lockdown situation, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage planned a short vacation time for us. It took her quite a while to put all of the pieces together, but she succeeded as always. As I was preparing for this little adventure, my wife looked at me and said, ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:31

Tags: Vacation, Holiday

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Be Careful What You Smile About

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 20, 2021

Dr. James L. Snyder I am a student of smileology and have been just about all my life. If you can't smile at something, it's not worth thinking about. Of course, certain things in life are serious, but not that many. Too many people take everything seriously and ruin their life. These are ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:4-5

Tags: Humor, Facebook, Lockedout

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Where Do Wrinkles Come From?

Contributed by James Snyder on Jun 12, 2021

Several months ago, I had two cataracts removed from my eyes. How they got there, I don't know. As far as I can remember, they never asked my permission, and furthermore, they never paid rent for being there. According to the eye doctor, and doctors are never wrong, I now have 2020 vision. ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 5:8

Tags: Plastic Surgery, Wrinkles

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doctors Are Always Right

Contributed by James Snyder on May 21, 2022

Last year I suffered what is referred to as a heart attack. I got to the hospital in time, so there was no any major damage. I had one artery known as the "Widow Maker" that was 90% blocked, which seemed to be a very serious thing. Who knew I even had a heart, but doctors are always ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:9

Tags: Medical, Doctors

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What A Wacky World We Live In

Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 1, 2023

I like the old saying, “Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.” This is the kind of world we live in today, and I’m still not adjusted to this sort of thing. I’m not sure I will ever adjust to the world around me. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I will be watching the ...read more

Tags: David, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Memories Can Be So Memorable

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 19, 2023

In growing older, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The older I get, the more I forget. I remember things that happened in my youth and the pressure of those memories is, are they true, or am I just making them up? I have nobody to verify those memories. I don’t think I will try to verify those ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-11

Tags: Memory, Weddings

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

You Break It, You Fix It

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 19, 2024

Every once in a while, I hear or see something that reminds me of my father. He’s been gone for over 15 years, but his memory is still fresh in my mind. His most famous saying, that I remember, was, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” He lived that to the very end of his ...read more

Scripture: James 1:5-6

Tags: Wisdom, Fixing

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Perpetual New Year's Resolutions  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 30, 2002

PERPETUAL NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Share a funny story with ...read more

Tags: New Year's Day, Bucketlist, Christian Values

Excerpts From Saturday Evening Post Magazine ...  PRO

Contributed by Davon Huss on Feb 19, 2001

Excerpts From Saturday Evening Post Magazine article on Jack La Lanne: Fit for Life. At 86, Jack La Lanne has dipped, chinned, pushed, pulled, and lifted more often than anyone in recorded history. His present training regimen is tailor-made for only superheroes. While many of his contemporaries ...read more

Tags: Leadership General, Christian Disciplines, Church Body Of Christ

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Empty Chair  PRO

Contributed by Danny Thomas on May 21, 2001

The Empty Chair A man’s daughter had asked the local pastor to come and pray with her father. When the pastor arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows and an empty chair beside his bed. The priest assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. ...read more

Tags: God Brings Hope, Promises Of God, Prayer How To, Peace

Denomination: Pentecostal