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In Sermon Illustrations: "Preacher Jokes"

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  • A Church Is Not An Audience

    Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 2, 2007
     | 2,424 views

    A Church Is Not An Audience A sharp distinction ought to be made between a church and an audience. · An audience is a group of unrelated people drawn together by a short-lived attraction. A church is a group of born again believers drawn together by a Savior. · An audience is a crowd. A church is ...read more

  • Out Of The Box

    Contributed by Terry Cavanaugh on May 9, 2008
     | 1,657 views

    OUT OF THE BOX One "boxed in" child was Adam Clarke, who was born in the eighteenth century in Ireland. When Adam was a schoolboy, his father told the teacher that Adam wouldn't do well. The teacher said, "He looks bright." That statement changed his life--let him out of the box his father had ...read more

  • The Oakland Police Force Recently Unveiled Its ...

    Contributed by Scott Jensen on Jan 2, 2009
     | 2,151 views

    The Oakland police force recently unveiled its first lowrider police car. The vehicle has the standard logo, lights and siren, but also includes chrome wheels, hydraulic lift, and a 500-watt sound system. The car was put on the force to help officers build better relationship with inner-city ...read more

  • Whyte In Prayer

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 13, 2011
     | 4,242 views

    WHYTE IN PRAYER Scottish minister Alexander Whyte was known for his uplifting prayers in the pulpit. He always found something for which to be grateful. One Sunday morning the weather was so gloomy that one church member thought, "The preacher certainly won’t think of anything for which to thank ...read more

  • Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down This Wall!

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 12, 2012
     | 1,935 views

    "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" These famous words were said by President Ronald Reagan in a speech at the Brandenburg Gate near the Berlin Wall on June 12, 1987. 29 months later the wall was torn down. Interestingly, these famous words were originally written by Peter Robinson, a ...read more

  • What Holiness Is Not

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 17, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 7,410 views

    WHAT HOLINESS IS NOT John Charles Ryle, Anglican bishop of Liverpool in the 19th century speaks of holiness. He says, "It is not knowledge...nor great profession...nor doing many things...nor zeal for certain matters in religion..." He continues that holiness is not "morality and outward ...read more

  • Pastor, Don't Get Too Excited Over Compliments!

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021
     | 1,733 views

    A NEW MAN AFTER THAT SERMON The minister’s sermon on this particular Sunday was considerably longer than normal. However, it was so well prepared and inspiring that he just knew it would be a big hit with the congregation. At the end of the service he stood shaking hands with the people as they ...read more

  • In 1986 I Had A Series Of Experiences That Turned ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Fritz on Dec 31, 2001
    based on 4 ratings
     | 1,717 views

    In 1986 I had a series of experiences that turned my preaching around. I came to realize that the ability to help or stir people depends primarily on preparing the heart of the preacher. I found in myself that the pull toward religious Pharisaism is a constant, a ...read more

  • Two Ministers Were Talking About The Kind Of ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Wood on May 29, 2002
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,436 views

    Two ministers were talking about the kind of Sunday morning we all have sooner or later. The alarm did not go off. Various domestic crises occurred. The traffic was unusually heavy. Finally, when he arrived at the church, he was late and someone had his parking space. With his frustration level ...read more

  • A Bit Of Advice  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 2, 2004
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,105 views

    A BIT OF ADVICE It took the Church nearly 400 years to decide about Trinitarian orthodoxy, producing the Nicene Creed that many churches say on a Sunday morning. Most preachers would prefer to preach on any other subject than the Trinity. Perhaps we should heed the advice of Brother Elric, a ...read more

  • Martin Luther, Commenting On Isaiah 65, Had This ...

    Contributed by Garth Wehrfritz- Hanson on Apr 6, 2007
     | 2,411 views

    Martin Luther, commenting on Isaiah 65, had this to say: Through his Gospel God can make the supreme tyrants of the world subject to a simple man and preacher, even though these tyrants were lions and wolves. God can turn enemies into friends. They shall feed together ... The kingdom of peace ...read more

  • My Wife And Were Enjoying A Cruise On A Recent ...  PRO

    Contributed by Terry Blankenship on Apr 30, 2007
    based on 8 ratings
     | 1,567 views

    My wife and were enjoying a cruise on a recent vacation. At the dinner table that second evening, that dreaded question came up regarding my occupation. (Now I am not ashamed of being a minister, but telling people I am a minister will erect walls that cannot be scaled) I replied that I would ...read more

  • The Tension Between A Christian And Society Is ...

    Contributed by Fred Sigle on Jun 7, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,514 views

    The tension between a Christian and SOCIETY is highlighted in the story Tony Compolo relates as a child who entered his house, not knowing the PREACHER was VISITING. Seeing his Mom, the boy came running in holding a RAT by the TAIL. With obvious EXCITEMENT he choked out: “Look, Mom! Look at ...read more

  • One Author Wrote, "I Shall Never Forget Dr. R. ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,120 views

    One author wrote, "I shall never forget Dr. R. A. Torrey saying to me as a young preacher, ’Young man, make up your mind on one thing and stick to it.’" Vance Havner comments: "The Christian life should be like a sword with one point, not like a broom ending in many straws. Such a single purpose ...read more

  • Who Came To Worship

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,805 views

    Henry Ward Beecher knew he was going to be absent from the pulpit of Plymouth Church one Sunday, so he asked his brother to preach for him. When the worship service began, and it became apparent that the great preacher would not be speaking that particular morning, some people got up and started to ...read more

  • My Wife And Were Enjoying A Cruise On A Recent ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,509 views

    My wife and were enjoying a cruise on a recent vacation. At the dinner table that second evening, that dreaded question came up regarding my occupation. (Now I am not ashamed of being a minister, but telling people I am a minister will erect walls that cannot be scaled) I replied that I would tell ...read more

  • I Was Reading About The Rev. George Whitefield. ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,980 views

    I was reading about the Rev. George Whitefield. He was the greatest preacher that the Church of England ever had. But he also worked well with Baptists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, and anyone else who believed in the gospel. One day, a colleague asked him, “Why do you do this? Why do you work with ...read more

  • I Will Never Forget The Story Of A Famous Bishop ...

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Nov 28, 2007
     | 2,057 views

    I will never forget the story of a famous bishop who spoke to a gathering of ministerial students. He repeated Jesus’ story of the wise and foolish maidens. Then he looked at those young men and challenged them, “Young men, would you rather be in the light with the ten wise maidens or out in the ...read more

  • Dr. Pierce Harris, A Pastor From Atlanta, ...

    Contributed by Sharon Stonestreet on Dec 15, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,073 views

    Dr. Pierce Harris, a pastor from Atlanta, Georgia, preached to some prisoners. One of the prisoners got up and introduced him th the others with these words: “Several years ago, two boys lived in a town in north Georgia. They went to the same school, played together and attended the same Sunday ...read more

  • H.b. London Jr., Of Focus On The Family, Writes ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 26, 2009
     | 1,565 views

    H.B. London Jr., of Focus on the Family, writes about his relationship with his father, who was a pastor: "My father was a great preacher. I only wish I had known him better. He was an absentee dad. I searched for a relationship with him until the time of his death, but I never found it. To give ...read more