In Sermon Illustrations: "Preacher Jokes"

Christmas Present Unrealized

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 25, 2019

This is a true story. Freddie and John were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Chelsea soccer in the UK. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (B14) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:1-20

Tags: Christmas, Christmas Present, Unattended Effect, Missed Opportunity

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Buried With A Fire Extinguisher!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jun 6, 2022

An interesting newspaper clipping from 1999 told of a British man who was quite a character. Two or three days AFTER his funeral his friends started getting signed postcards from him. The cards said "wish you were here" and were addressed from ...read more

Tags: Hell, Death, Eternity, Judgment, Deceived  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

More Than The Pope

Contributed by Alison Bucklin on Sep 6, 2023

There’s a joke about the Pope coming to visit New York. His entourage had ordered a stretch limo for him. As he approached, they held the rear door open for him, but the Pontiff said that it had always been an ambition of his to drive in New York himself. So he got into the front seat, and ...read more

Scripture: Luke 14:7-11

Tags: Pride, Status, Humility

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Blindness

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 22, 2025

Aero Condor was experiencing money problems in Peru and needed to cut back expenses. So, rumor had it they hired two blind pilots. Story soon spread about these pilots, but no one believed it. So one day the plane was loaded and up came the two pilots, with dark glasses and walking sticks. The ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 6:10, Matthew 15:14, Matthew 23:16-19, Matthew 23:24-26, Luke 6:39, John 9:39-41, John 12:40, Romans 2:19, 2 Corinthians 4:4  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Blind, Spiritual Blindness, Hard Hearts, Not Understanding, Lack Of Discernment  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Even You Can Be Forgiven

Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 9, 2008

Even You Can Be Forgiven I heard the story of a preacher who was at a certain church preaching on the subject of forgiveness. In the crowd that day there was young woman whose heart was heavy with a load of guilt and shame. After he had finished preaching, a few moments had passed by and every one ...read more

Tags: Guilt

The Bouquet Of Love

Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Nov 23, 2010

THE BOUQUET OF LOVE In A Second Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Rev. John R. Ramsey tells how in one church a certain person provided him with a rose boutonniere for the lapel of his suit every Sunday. At first he really appreciated it but then it sort of became routine. Then one Sunday it ...read more

Tags: Gratitude

Denomination: Baptist

Gossip: Opie's Newspaper

Contributed by Davon Huss on May 7, 2014

"Opie's Newspaper" is an episode on the Andy Griffith Show. Opie's friend, Howie, received a small printing press as a gift, and the boys decide to go into the newspaper business. They work hard and produce an initial issue of what they call the Mayberry Sun. The boys soon find that business is ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 4:31-32

Tags: Gossip, Slander, Sins Of Tongue, Control Tongue

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

One Sunday As They Drove Home From Church, A ...  PRO

Contributed by Kyle Meador on Jan 15, 2001

One Sunday as they drove home from church, a little girl turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, there’s something about the preacher’s message this morning that I don’t understand." The mother said, "Oh? What is it?" The little girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. He said ...read more

Tags: Sharing Your Faith, Sharing My Testimony, Love Of The Disciples

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Church For Fanatics

Contributed by Paul Wallace on Sep 20, 2006

Church For Fanatics One man wrote "I was a supply preacher for a small town Texas Church, coming in early Sunday, preaching a sermon to the congregation, and then leaving after lunch. Arriving early one Sunday I sat down at a local donut shop, opened my Bible and went over my sermon notes. " A man ...read more

Denomination: Wesleyan

Here Are The Top 10 Things You'll Probably Never ...  PRO

Contributed by Keith Davis on May 5, 2003

HERE ARE THE TOP 10 THINGS YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH 10.Hey! It’s MY turn to sit in the front pew! 9. Sign me up for nursery duty for a whole quarter! 8. Preacher, I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went overtime 25 minutes. 7. Personally, I find visitation night much ...read more

Tags: Church Purpose Of, Church General

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Paul Says:

Contributed by John Akosile on Jun 1, 2009

Paul says: "Our sufficiency is of God, who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life." The true ministry is God-touched, God-enabled, and God-made. The Spirit of God is on the preacher in anointing ...read more

Tags: Kingdom Of God

Denomination: Pentecostal

Some Of You Watch Or Listen To Charles Stanley, ...

Contributed by Jerry Blaxton on Aug 27, 2009

Some of you watch or listen to Charles Stanley, John Hagee, Chuck Swindoll, James Dobson, Billy Graham, David Jeremiah, or any number of others. I don’t know how many different preachers and teachers come on some of the satellite TV channels, because we don’t have that. Instead, our TV service ...read more

Tags: Leadership, Leadership General

Denomination: Baptist

Confession Without Change

Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Oct 28, 2009

CONFESSION WITHOUT CHANGE Four preachers met for a friendly gathering. During the conversation one preacher said, "Our people come to us and pour out their hearts, confess certain sins and needs. Let's do the same. Confession is good for the soul." In due time all agreed. One confessed he liked ...read more

Tags: Confession Of Sin

Denomination: Salvation Army

Lessons From Sheep

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on May 1, 2008

LESSONS FROM SHEEP Sheep get lost by nibbling away at the grass and never looking up. The same can be said for us. We can focus so much on what is immediately before us that we fail to ...read more

Tags: Human Life

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Was Talking With The Guys Installing My ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 28, 2009

I was talking with the guys installing my satellite. Knowing that I was a preacher, one asked, "Can you be saved and not go to church?" I said, "Sure, the same way that you can be a soldier and not be in the ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:24-25

Tags: Church Purpose Of

Opened Eyes

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 11, 2025

Thomas Watson, the great Puritan preacher, said: "Bless God, you his saints, that he has removed your spiritual cataract, and has enabled you to discern those things ...read more

Scripture: Luke 24:31, 2 Corinthians 3:16

Tags: Understanding, New Birth, Regeneration, Enlightenment, Insight, Spirit's Work  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Ben Hooper

Contributed by David Swanger on Jan 19, 2024

In Rising Above the Crowd, Brian Habour tells the story of Ben Hooper. When Ben was born in the foothills of East Tennessee, little boys and girls like Ben who were born to unwed mothers were ostracized and treated terribly. By the time he was three years old, the other children would scarcely play ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 2:9

Tags: Christian, Encouragement

Too Many Professing Believers Have Given Up On ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007

Too many professing believers have given up on God. They’ve dropped the ball. •Many because they were never encouraged. (Gregory Dawson (SC.com) Ben Hooper was born several decades ago as an illegitimate child who never knew his dad. As a result, he was constantly taunted by classmates. When he was ...read more

As A Two And Three-Year Old I Used To Gather All ...  PRO

Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Apr 23, 2003

As a two and three-year old I used to gather all my stuffed animals together and stand up on box and begin to “preach” to them. My Mom called me her “little preacher boy.” As a child God put within my imagination the dream of being a preacher. As a teenager I began to pursue my divine-daring ...read more

Tags: Fulfillment

Denomination: Assembly Of God

In The Movie "The Color Purple" There Is A ...  PRO

Contributed by Richard Tow on Dec 8, 2003

In the movie “The Color Purple” there is a character named “Sug Avery.” She grew up in preacher’s home; but fell into deep sin. She was the same kind of sinner as the woman in our text. Early in the movie we see her father rejecting her because that sin. He won’t even speak to her. Sug longs ...read more

Tags: Forgiveness For Others

Denomination: Charismatic