Gossip: Opie's Newspaper

"Opie's Newspaper" is an episode on the Andy Griffith Show. Opie's friend, Howie, received a small printing press as a gift, and the boys decide to go into the newspaper business. They work hard and produce an initial issue of what they call the Mayberry Sun. The boys soon find that business is pretty slow, so they ask Andy and Barney for advice. It seems that the boys' newspaper is full of information about their class at school, but that's about it. Barney advises Opie that they need to widen their scope to attract more readers. Opie and Howie decide to examine the real Mayberry paper to determine how they might improve their own publication. After reviewing some sections they come across one called "Mayberry after Midnight", the gossip column. Howie and Opie conclude that if they are going to be successful, their paper will have to contain similar information. So they put on their reporter hats and set out to gather as many "exclusive stories" as they can. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how we look at it), there is no shortage of such news in Mayberry. Opie and Howie collect all this information for their second edition of the Mayberry Sun. Barney, Andy, and Aunt Bee are all in the Taylors' kitchen when Opie delivers the second issue of the paper. Opie leaves to continue his delivery, and at first no one notices anything wrong. They compliment the hard work and effort of the boys and how they are really trying their best. But just as Opie is getting ready to leave, Barney notices a headline, "Barney Fife says Sue Grigsby Blonde from a Bottle." Then it all breaks loose! The scramble is on to retrieve all the newspapers before it's too late. The consequences of this are minimal because Andy and the others involved are able to gather up all the newspapers before anyone has a chance to read what was printed. That is, except for the preacher. Andy is forced to endure a very embarrassing moment on the preacher's front porch because of the "dry as dust" sermon comment from Andy. The irony in the situation is that Andy was actually in the process of giving the preacher a compliment when that particular comment slipped out and got into the paper. He was really commenting on how blessed the town was to have a preacher such as this man, but the uplifting comment by Andy never made it to press.

From Chapter 25 of Joey Fann's book, The Way Back to Mayberry