Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 1, 2001
based on 126 ratings
| 1,554 views
We’re like the little boy who was sitting in church one day. The preacher was going on and on about how great heaven would be. He talked about the streets of gold and the angels and about seeing God face to face. He concluded his message by asking the members of the congregation to raise their
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 16, 2002
based on 20 ratings
| 16,962 views
A River Funny
A preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great fervor: "If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river."
The congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river."
The congregation
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Contributed by Johnny Creasong on Apr 22, 2009
FALLING ASLEEP IN CHURCH
Please don't think I'm complaining about folks who fall asleep in church. I understand some people can’t help it. I am convinced that some people fall asleep in church during the sermon because their have a physical ailment. Some folk must have a snooze button attached at
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Denomination:
Church Of God
DELIVERING DEATH NOTICES
When I lived in Albuquerque I was trained by the Albuquerque Police Department to deliver death notifications to people in town. The Police Department used local preachers wearing suits with Police Chaplain badges instead of sending uniformed officers because it was
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Frank Gallagher on Feb 20, 2001
based on 98 ratings
| 4,674 views
A few years ago, I was watching David Letterman, and he was broadcasting his show from Las Vegas. He was doing his opening monologue and he told this joke.
He said that he was standing in front of one of the casinos, and a man came up to him looking desperate.
"Please!" the man begged
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Joel Pankow on Apr 13, 2001
based on 200 ratings
| 9,623 views
POSSUMS AND THE GRAVE
I have heard that possums are smart animals. You wouldn’t think so because you hardly ever see one except when it’s dead on the road. There’s a joke that goes, “why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!”
But possums, it turns out,
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by David Slone on Sep 7, 2004
based on 3 ratings
| 1,734 views
I’ve heard the story of a young boy who was experiencing his first funeral. He looked around and normally happy and jovial aunts and uncles were now crying. Uncles usually quick with a joke and word, stare wide eyed at a casket. He felt fear and amazing confusion. And why not, what other
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 28, 2004
based on 17 ratings
| 8,168 views
THE REAL DEAL?
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young accountant who was fresh out of school, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The Accountant said, "In the neighborhood of 100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer
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Contributed by Paul Shafit on Aug 4, 2007
A colleague was invited to hold a speech in Japan. Aware of his reputation as a very good speaker, he was surprised that his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the audience did not react to anything he said. Somewhat put down, he went back to
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Mark Armstrong on Jun 2, 2009
A FEW WORDS
Imagine going into a bank, innocently filling out a withdrawal slip, and within minutes being arrested by the police. When Ron Schatz filled out a withdrawal slip in an American bank, he had no idea that handcuffs would soon be placed upon him. It took a while to straighten out the
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Brandon Park on Jan 31, 2010
I have heard that possums are smart animals. You wouldn’t think so because you hardly ever see one except when it’s dead on the road. There’s a joke that goes, “why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!” But possums, it turns out, are smart. They won’t enter
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 20, 2005
based on 7 ratings
| 1,852 views
There is a tale told of that great English actor Macready. An eminent preacher once said to him: “I wish you would explain to me something.”
“Well, what is it? I don’t know that I can explain anything to a preacher.”
“What is the reason for the difference between you and me? You are appearing
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Contributed by Mark Hensley on Dec 9, 2001
based on 9 ratings
| 2,908 views
There is a tale told of that great English actor Macready. An eminent preacher once said to him: "I wish you would explain to me something." "Well, what is it? I don’t know that I can explain anything to a preacher."
"What is the reason for the difference between you and me? You are appearing
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Paul Fritz on Oct 18, 2000
based on 2 ratings
| 1,770 views
There is a tale told of that great English actor Macready. An eminent preacher once said to him: "I wish you would explain to me something." "Well, what is it? I don’t know that I can explain anything to a preacher."
"What is the reason for the difference between you and me? You are appearing
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Ken Kersten on Jan 22, 2004
based on 140 ratings
| 2,980 views
This being Easter our leadership met and decided, "You know, we want to get a really special speaker. Why don’t we call the best preacher in the world and ask him to speak."
And they did and he said "No".
So they said, "Well if we can’t have the best speaker, as least we can get the smartest
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bob Joyce on Aug 31, 2007
Jay Kessler, a former president of Youth for Christ was filling in for a pastor friend. On the way to "after church pie and fellowship," a young man walked beside him and said, "I hope you’re not offended in my saying this, but I don’t come here to the church to hear you or the pastor preach. I
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Davon Huss on Jan 31, 2011
based on 1 rating
| 5,261 views
MR. GOODNESS AND MR. MERCY
A faithful Christian lady told the preacher on her death bed that she felt like two demons were always around her. She said that when she died she felt like those demons were going to escort her to hell. The preacher was disturbed and couldn't understand her terrors.
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
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