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In Sermon Illustrations: "Preacher Joke"

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  • It Is Natural To Mourn. A Minister Once Told Me ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 1, 2004
     | 2,775 views

    It is natural to mourn. A minister once told me about a young woman in his church who asked him to talk to her grandfather. “He’s been so down and irritable lately,” she said. The preacher said, “Is there anything that you can point to that would contribute to his emotional condition?” “Well, ...read more

  • Dr. C. I. Scofield, The Eminent Bible Teacher, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Wood on Jun 23, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,068 views

    Dr. C. I. Scofield, the eminent Bible teacher, once attended a Bible Conference in New York City. The chairman called on another minister to pray. His prayer went something like this: “Oh, thou great and terrible God. great is thy majesty. A great distance separates us from Thee. Poor lost sinners ...read more

  • The Story Is Told Of A Little Boy Who Was Scared ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,881 views

    The story is told of a little boy who was scared to go to church one Sunday. He cried and cried and his mother couldn’t find out what was wrong with him. He loved to go to Sunday school and church. She kept questioning him and finally he blurted out, “I’m afraid of the zeal.” “What zeal?” she ...read more

  • Has It Come To That?

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,164 views

    Preacher Vance Havner once told a story about an elderly lady who was greatly disturbed by her many troubles--both real and imaginary. Finally, someone in her family tactfully told her, "Grandma, we’ve done all we can for you. You’ll just have to trust God for the rest." A look of absolute despair ...read more

  • Van Gogh Was Born March 30, 1853, In ...

    Contributed by Noel Atkinson on Feb 25, 2008
     | 1,329 views

    Van Gogh was born March 30, 1853, in Groot-Zundert, son of a Dutch Protestant pastor. Early in life he displayed a moody, restless temperament that was to thwart his every pursuit. By the age of 27 he had been, in turn, a salesman in an art gallery, a French tutor, a theological student, and an ...read more

  • Always Had An Uplifting ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Oct 14, 2008
     | 1,364 views

    Always Had an Uplifting Prayer Scottish minister Alexander Whyte was known for his uplifting prayers in the pulpit. He always found something for which to be grateful. One Sunday morning the weather was so gloomy that one church member thought to himself, “Certainly the preacher won’t think of ...read more

  • Gem Collection

    Contributed by Roger Miller on Apr 27, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,796 views

    GEM COLLECTION Len Sweet, a Methodist preacher, tells how he complimented a woman in Rustin, Louisiana on her jewelry. She smiled and said, "Thank you. I collect gems." I agreed and said, "It shows." "No," she insisted. "I don't collect those gems. I collect real 'gems.' I have a gem of a ...read more

  • A Letter For Joe

    Contributed by Ed Sasnett on Jun 8, 2010
     | 2,852 views

    A LETTER FOR JOE Joseph Parker was a popular preacher in London, England in the late 1800's. He was the pastor of the large City Temple. One Sunday as he was going to the pulpit a woman in the balcony tossed a piece of paper on the platform before him. He picked it up and read it. It contained ...read more

  • Brethren, If We Will Do God’s Work In ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 7, 2010
     | 3,175 views

    Brethren, if we will do God’s work in God’s way at God’s time with God’s power, we shall have God’s blessing and the devil’s curses. When God opens the windows of heaven to bless us, the devil will open the door of hell to blast us. God’s smile means the devil’s frown! Mere preachers may help ...read more

  • A New Man After That Sermon

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Nov 16, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,843 views

    A NEW MAN AFTER THAT SERMON The minister’s sermon on this particular Sunday was considerably longer than normal. However, it was so well prepared and inspiring that he just knew it would be a big hit with the congregation. At the end of the service he stood shaking hands with the people as they ...read more

  • Just Words

    Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 21, 2010
     | 2,487 views

    JUST WORDS Samuel Clemens (better known by his alias Mark Twain) attended a Sunday morning service. He met the pastor at the door afterward and told him that he had a book at home with every word he had preached that morning. The minister assured him that the sermon was an original. Clemens still ...read more

  • Sales Vs. Management

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2011
     | 4,028 views

    SALES VS. MANAGEMENT A pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds which were gathering. "Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you’ll see to ...read more

  • That Cross Alone

    Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on May 29, 2011
     | 3,517 views

    THAT CROSS ALONE Clarence Jordan, author of the "Cotton Patch" New Testament translation, and founder of the interracial Koinonia farm in Americus, Georgia, was getting a red-carpet tour of another minister's church. With pride the minister pointed to the rich, imported furnishings and luxurious ...read more

  • I Was Once Preaching In The Chapel Of A ...

    Contributed by Chris Surber on Sep 10, 2009
     | 2,300 views

    I was once preaching in the chapel of a retirement village in Yuma, Arizona. After delivering the sermon I began chatting with an elderly woman who I later learned was very hard of hearing. We were standing just outside the chapel, near a very beautiful pool table which looked as though it was ...read more

  • Elijah Cadman

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 10, 2011
     | 5,106 views

    ELIJAH CADMAN Let me tell you about the six-year-old drunken chimney sweep who went on to become a great leader in our movement. Elijah Cadman was born in Coventry, the youngest of five children of a drunkard father who died when Cadman was three years old. Aged six, Cadman was unusually small ...read more

  • The Greek Poet, Hosaye Wrote, " If You Tell Me ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ryan Johnson on Feb 23, 2002
    based on 48 ratings
     | 1,781 views

    The Greek poet, Hosaye wrote, “ If you tell me who you love, I can tell you who you are Max Lucado a dynamic Christian author said it this way, ‘ The sign of the saved is their love for the least” Bill Hybels, Pastor of one of the largest churches in America echoed the thought , When he said,’We ...read more

  • The Big Return On Faithfulness  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Fritz on Jun 5, 2001
    based on 12 ratings
     | 3,169 views

    THE BIG RETURN ON FAITHFULNESS It was a stormy night in Birmingham, England, and Hudson Taylor was to speak at a meeting at the Severn Street schoolroom. His hostess assured him that nobody would attend on such a stormy night, but Taylor insisted on going. "I must go even if there is no one but ...read more

  • Living Thief.  PRO

    Contributed by Darrell Jones on Mar 1, 2003
    based on 90 ratings
     | 6,069 views

    Living Thief. A minister tells the story of a preacher who asked a man why he did not join the church..The reply was that the dying thief did not join the church and he was saved. "Well," said the minister, "if you do not belong to a church, perhaps you help by supporting missions?" "No," said the ...read more

  • Dave Brown, Author Of "Entertaining Ourselves In ...

    Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Aug 12, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,373 views

    Dave Brown, author of “Entertaining Ourselves in church” speaks about “Neil Postman, a professor of communications arts and sciences at New York University wrote a fascinating book called, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business. He says, “Postman doesn’t write as a ...read more

  • Helen Keller Was Born Blind And Deaf. She Was ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,361 views

    Helen Keller was born blind and deaf. She was brought to a minister to explain the plan of salvation to her. In the simplest of terms the minister told the girl about Jesus. As she heard the Gospel, her face lit up and she spelled out in the hand of the preacher, “I knew all the time there must be ...read more