Contributed by Ron Crow on Jan 27, 2003
based on 25 ratings
| 2,042 views
A man called at the church and asked if he could speak to the Head Hog at the Trough. The secretary said, “Who?”
The man replied, “I want to speak to the Head Hog at the Trough!”
Sure now that she had heard correctly, the secretary said, “Sir, if you mean our pastor, you will have to treat him with
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Baptist
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Feb 8, 2003
based on 35 ratings
| 2,596 views
[From Apostles and Prophets: The Foundation of the Church, by C. Peter Wagner, 2000, Regal Books, Ventura California, pp. 25]
In my book Churchquake! I say:
Of all the radical changes in the New Apostolic Reformation, I regard one of them as the most radical of all.
It is so important that I have
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 29 ratings
| 2,963 views
CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!!
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work,
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Donald Smith on Apr 23, 2003
based on 9 ratings
| 3,495 views
A mother wakes up her son one morning and says, “Honey, it’s time to get ready for church.” The son replies, “But mom, I don’t want to go to church today!” The mother persisted, “But you have to go to church!” The son again responded, “I don’t want to go to church mom!” The mother said…, “You
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Methodist
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on May 2, 2003
based on 18 ratings
| 2,924 views
WHY DO YOU DO THAT?
I’m thinking of a small-town church in upstate New York.
They’d had a rector in that church for over thirty-five years.
He was loved by the church and the community.
After he retired, he was replaced by a young priest.
It was his first church; he had a great desire to do
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 8 ratings
| 2,102 views
Someone has estimated that the average member of the church has heard 6,000 sermons, 8,000 congregational songs and led zero people to Jesus Christ!
Here is the way the problem stacks up in a Church with 200 members:
20 are too old to work, that leaves 180 left to work,
but of the rest, 18 are
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Nazarene
Contributed by David Gant on Feb 14, 2004
based on 77 ratings
| 4,021 views
SEARCH COMMITTEE REPORT
We do not have a happy report to give. We have not been able to find a suitable candidate for this church, though we have one promising prospect. Thank you for your suggestions. We have followed up on each one with interviews or by calling at least three references. The
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Baptist
Contributed by Jason Cole on Feb 23, 2004
based on 13 ratings
| 3,926 views
I like the old story about the guy who came to church with his family. As they were driving home afterwards he was complaining about everything. He said, “The music was too loud. The sermon was too long. The announcements were unclear. The building was hot. The people were unfriendly.” He went on &
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Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 2 ratings
| 4,080 views
A deacon sent in his apologies for the Sunday morning service, claiming that he was ill with flu. One of the members, however, said he had seen the deacon on his way to a ball game. After the service, the minister went to visit the deacon, "Brother," he said, "I have information that you were not
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 5 ratings
| 1,455 views
The following true story is from the life of Louis XIV of France: One Sunday when he and his royal party arrived at church, no one was there except Archbishop Fenelon, the court preacher. Surprised to see all the vacant seats, the King inquired, "Where is everybody?" Why isn’t anyone else present
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 1 rating
| 7,606 views
Gordon MacDonald, a Christian author once said this, “The world can do almost anything as well as or even better than the church. You need not be a Christian to build houses, feed the hungry, or heal the
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Mennonite
Contributed by Chip Monck on Feb 15, 2005
based on 11 ratings
| 1,980 views
Top Ten Indications That Your Worship Service Might Be a Bit Too Relaxed:
10. The choir wears bath robes and bunny slippers!
9. Every prayer ends with "Yeah, God, You be the Man!"
8. The church just replaced their old pew bibles with the ABV (Authorized Barney Version)!
7. The
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Wesleyan
Contributed by David Smith on Apr 21, 2005
A guy called David Randolph spoke about a time when he was in Milan in Italy, and was watching a circus parade moving through the streets. Suddenly one of the elephants veered off and marched into a church. The church doors were large, and were open because of the summer heat. So the elephant
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Episcopal/Anglican
Contributed by Samson Musyoki on Sep 22, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 3,529 views
There are those Christians who boast that they never miss Sunday services while on the other hand fail to attend midweek services or evening fellowships. That is not enough! You are only lying to yourself since we don’t attend church to please the lay leaders or the pastor but to have communion
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Feb 2, 2001
based on 124 ratings
| 3,275 views
SPURGEON was once invited by a wealthy man to come down and preach in a country church in order to help them raise funds to pay a debt. The man told Spurgeon he was free to use his country house, his town house, or his seaside home. Spurgeon wrote
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