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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Jokes"

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  • Praying In The Hay

    Contributed by Guy Caley on May 5, 2003
     | 2,908 views

    PRAYING IN THE HAY Armin Gesswein learned about praying God’s promises in a hayloft. Armin was a longtime Pastor, interdenominational prayer organizer and founder of the "Revival Prayer fellowship." When he began as a young Lutheran pastor trying to establish a church on Long Island and having ...read more

  • Ticket When Going To Train Station-Going 60 In 40 ...

    Contributed by Myriam Salcedo-Gonzalez on Dec 2, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,463 views

    Ticket when going to train station-going 60 in 40 zone. I wanted to fight it! The radar was wrong. When was the last time they checked it? I had just come out from a stop sign and the road was uphill, how could I be going 60? Impossible! Good thing I was not close to the my church! Can you imagine, ...read more

  • But We Must Focus On The ...

    Contributed by Brian Harvison on May 29, 2008
     | 3,418 views

    But we must focus on the good Reminds me of a story about a newlywed farmer and his wife Mother-in-law visit demanding an inspection Genuinely tried to be friendly Hoping for non-antagonistic relationship To no avail, nagged at every opportunity Demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and ...read more

  • Stumbling Block Of Envy

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Sep 4, 2008
     | 4,216 views

    Stumbling Block of Envy When I was a few months from graduation from seminary, the church I had attended during college had a position open and I was very interested in it. The pastor had become a spiritual mentor to me, and I was hopeful for the opportunity to work with him. When we met to ...read more

  • In The First Half Of The 17th Century, Germany ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Oct 14, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,674 views

    In the first half of the 17th century, Germany was in the midst of wars and famine and pestilence. In the city of Eilenburg lived a pastor by the name of Martin Rinkart. During one especially oppressive period, Rinkart conducted up to 50 funerals a day as a plague swept through the town and as the ...read more

  • Don't Wait On The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009
     | 3,983 views

    DON’T WAIT ON THE DECISION I recently heard a terrible story about a young man who made a bad decision. The church of a pastor friend of mine had a drama about hell, and a mother brought her 26-year-old son who had been in rehab. When the pastor gave the invitation, the mother got up to go to the ...read more

  • Reconcilation Story

    Contributed by Jim Kane on May 18, 2009
     | 2,573 views

    RECONCILATION STORY It was a conversation that has stuck with me over the years. I was not a part of the conversation, per se, but I was a part of the audience that listened. I think that it took place in 1986 but I cannot remember. It was, I remember, a Sunday night at the church where I was ...read more

  • Boss: Mark Dever On The Four Aspects Of ...

    Contributed by Tim White on May 7, 2011
     | 2,990 views

    BOSS: MARK DEVER ON THE FOUR ASPECTS OF LEADERSHIP B=Boss. The leader "reproves, rebukes, and exhorts with all longsuffering and doctrine." There is a delicate balance in local churches between pastoral authority (Hebrews 13) and congregational authority (Matthew 18). The pastors must exercise ...read more

  • A Common Phrase Used In The World Of Healing Is, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Mar 22, 2005
    based on 5 ratings
     | 2,633 views

    A common phrase used in the world of healing is, “time heals all wounds.” I have found this to be more false than true. As a pastor, I talk regularly with people who are still carrying hurts from 30 or 40 years ago. The real truth is, time often makes things worse. Wounds that are left untended ...read more

  • Church Finances: The Average Church Budget Size ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
     | 2,333 views

    Church finances: The average church budget size is $292,790 (median: $203,590). Senior pastors earn a median base salary of $31,006 and a median housing allowance of $15,250. 66% of church treasurers are responsible for the oversight of church expenditures. 57% of churches use debt only as needed ...read more

  • What We Believe: A Recent Newsweek Poll Gauges ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
    based on 6 ratings
     | 3,400 views

    What We Believe: A recent Newsweek poll gauges Americans’ opinions on the Book of Revelation and end times: *36% believe the Book of Revelation contains “true prophecy,” while 47% say it is metaphorical. *55% think the faithful will be taken up to heaven in the rapture. *74% of Americans believe ...read more

  • Recently, The Media Reported On A Well Known ...

    Contributed by Michael De Rosa on Nov 5, 2006
     | 2,006 views

    Recently, the media reported on a well known Christian pastor, Ted Haggard, who allegedy committed the sin of homosexuality. It was hurtful to read this. It was only a few short years before this that I read one of his books, How to keep your City from going to Hell. I was motivated by it, but ...read more

  • Wisdom, Skill, And ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 2, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,507 views

    Wisdom, Skill, and Virtue Someone once said: Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. (Everywoman’s Family Circle as found in Tan, Paul Lee: Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations : A Treasury of Illustrations, Anecdotes, Facts and Quotations for ...read more

  • The Joy That I Pursue

    Contributed by Tim Spear on Dec 4, 2012
     | 2,879 views

    "The joy that I pursue is not the hope of getting rich with things from you. I have not come to you for your things, but for yourself. And this desire I now intensify and demonstrate by giving up things, in the hope of enjoying you more, not things. By giving to you what you do not need, and what I ...read more

  • Not Everything Is As It Seems

    Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 25, 2020
     | 2,501 views

    For the last five days, I have not been able to sleep nor close my eyes at night. It’s been a nightmare. During the last four weeks, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly have been sequestered in our home and loving it. I cannot remember a time in our marriage that we have spent ...read more

  • Who’s The Clown Now?

    Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 5, 2022
     | 1,218 views

    As a young person, I was fascinated with clowns. My first encounter was at a circus I attended with my family. The main character in the circus was the clown. When I first saw those clowns, I was scared almost to death. I've never seen anything as scary as those circus clowns. That began my ...read more

  • How Much Is Laughter Really Worth?

    Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 30, 2023
     | 707 views

    Of all the things I prioritize in my life, laughter is at the top of the list. I appreciate laughter more than any other thing. Some people get paid for their jokes, while others pay mightily. I am in the latter category. I like to make people laugh, but sometimes it costs me. Whenever I see ...read more

  • Today, We Need Our Eyes Opened To Jesus Just As ...  PRO

    Contributed by Daryl Bahn on Apr 11, 2002
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,824 views

    Today, we need our eyes opened to Jesus just as much as those early Christians. In one church, a sign that only the pastor could see was taped up in the pulpit. It quoted the words of John 12:21, (spoken by the Greeks who were in Jerusalem for the Passover to Philip) – “Sir, we would like to see ...read more

  • An Epitaph To Grace  PRO

    Contributed by Robert Renberg Jr. on Jul 18, 2002
    based on 53 ratings
     | 5,397 views

    AN EPITAPH TO GRACE In a small cemetery of a parish churchyard in Olney, England, stands a granite tombstone w/ this inscription: “John Newton, clerk [pastor], once an infidel & Libertine, a servant of slavers in Africa, was, by the rich mercy of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, preserved, ...read more

  • Employed By The Human-Development Center Of A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 12, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,726 views

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, ...read more