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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Jokes" showing 941-960 of 2,756

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  • 70 Funerals In One Day

    Contributed by Gregg Bitter on Nov 24, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,529 views

    70 FUNERALS IN ONE DAY During a forty-year ministry, I would guess that many pastors do seventy or more burials. But this wasn't over the full span of his ministry. In fact, it wasn't even a full year. In one day, Pastor Rinkart did burial rites for up to seventy people and did the same the next ...read more

  • Wall Street Journal Banned From Church

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 4, 2008
     | 1,189 views

    Wall Street Journal Banned From Church Reviving an ancient practice, churches are exposing sinners and shunning those who won’t repent. By ALEXANDRA ALTER January 18, 2008; Page W1 On a quiet Sunday morning in June, as worshippers settled into the pews at Allen Baptist Church in southwestern ...read more

  • Un Evangelista Fue A Una Iglesia A Predicar, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Major Gerardo Balmori on Feb 23, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,984 views

    Un evangelista fue a una iglesia a predicar, allí se encontraba un niño de 10 años, y le pregunta el predicador al niño: ¿Quién es tu papá? Mi papa es el mejor pastor de todo el mundo, contesto el niño. Escuchando el pastor de la iglesia al niño, le dice: Niño no digas mentiras, la verdad es que tu ...read more

  • The Fine Art Of Doing Nothing  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 26, 2002
    based on 43 ratings
     | 2,444 views

    The Fine Art of Doing Nothing The sign on the stage proclaimed: "The Motionless Man: Make Him Laugh. Win $100." The temptation was irresistible. For three hours boys and girls, men and women, performed every antic and told every joke they knew. But Bill Fuqua, the Motionless Man, stood perfectly ...read more

  • A Little Boy Always Went Next Door To Play Even ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 11, 2006
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,219 views

    A little boy always went next door to play even though his mom had warned him against doing so. This worried his mom so badly that she asked him why he was so disobedient. He replied that Satan tempted him so bad and he did not know what to do. ? ? His mom then advised him to say ’get ...read more

  • The Charter Flight

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 22, 2010
     | 1,986 views

    THE CHARTER FLIGHT With his request approved, the CNN News cameraman quickly used his cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He ...read more

  • The Trouble Telescope  PRO

    Contributed by Perry Greene on May 8, 2013
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,184 views

    THE TROUBLE TELESCOPE Most of you have seen the wonderful images from the Hubble Space Telescope. From the far reaches of space, we're able to see God's most breathtaking creations. Do you remember that in the beginning the Hubble Space Telescope was not the wonderful machine that it is today. ...read more

  • Telemarketer

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 6, 2017
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,972 views

    Here’s a story from a telemarketer: “The other day I called a house and a real nice lady answered the phone, she was really helpful and friendly, she was the type of lady that helps a telemarketer get through a long day. After some pleasantries I asked if Mr. Smith was in, “I’m sorry”, she ...read more

  • Christmas Present Unrealized

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 25, 2019
     | 2,801 views

    This is a true story. Freddie and John were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Chelsea soccer in the UK. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (B14) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have ...read more

  • The Authority Of Jesus

    Contributed by Peter Loughman on Nov 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,835 views

    The Authority of Jesus Years ago I was on a trip to Israel with my seminary. We were taking a tour of Jerusalem and the church of the Holy Sepulcher. As we walked through the section controlled by the Ethiopian Orthodox, the monks ignored us, it was as if we didn’t exist. Then our professor told ...read more

  • The Young Boy Said, "Daddy, If Three Frogs Are ...

    Contributed by Glenn Durham on Mar 5, 2008
     | 1,239 views

    The young boy said, “Daddy, if three frogs are sitting on a limb hanging over a pool, and one frog decides to jump, how many frogs are left on the limb?” His dad replied, “Two.” “No,” the son said. “Listen carefully, daddy. There are three frogs and one decides to jump. How many are left?” ...read more

  • Sometimes People Think God Does Not Know What ...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Apr 21, 2008
     | 2,396 views

    Sometimes people think God does not know what they are thinking. But He knows that some people are just "using" God, but they really detest Him. At a tea for officers and their wives, the commanding general of a base delivered a seemingly endless oration. A young lieutenant grumbled to the woman ...read more

  • Buried With A Fire Extinguisher!

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jun 6, 2022
     | 1,189 views

    An interesting newspaper clipping from 1999 told of a British man who was quite a character. Two or three days AFTER his funeral his friends started getting signed postcards from him. The cards said "wish you were here" and were addressed from ...read more

  • More Than The Pope

    Contributed by Alison Bucklin on Sep 6, 2023
     | 566 views

    There’s a joke about the Pope coming to visit New York. His entourage had ordered a stretch limo for him. As he approached, they held the rear door open for him, but the Pontiff said that it had always been an ambition of his to drive in New York himself. So he got into the front seat, and ...read more

  • Too Often Our Gratitude Is Dependent Upon The ...  PRO

    Contributed by John Roy on Jan 29, 2001
    based on 127 ratings
     | 5,388 views

    Too often our gratitude is dependent upon the circumstances of life. A beautiful hymn was written by Martin Rinkart during the thirty-year war to help us look beyond our circumstances and see the hand of God. Rinkart was a pastor in Saxony, Germany as the turbulent years of the war dragged on. For ...read more

  • Was That Somebody You?  PRO

    Contributed by Jun Tadena on Aug 25, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,446 views

    "Was That Somebody You?" Tom Carter, the evangelist, told this in one of his messages: While he was holding meetings in a Pennsylvania town, a young man who had formerly lived next door to the parsonage committed a murder. The whole community was stirred. Mr. Carter and the pastor obtained ...read more

  • Preacher Focuses On Baptism Regardless Of Sermon ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 26, 2009
     | 5,594 views

    Preacher Focuses On Baptism Regardless of Sermon Text The story is told of a pastor who had just starting serving a new congregation. For eight Sundays in a row he preached about baptism. Finally, the chairman of the elders approached him and said, “Preacher, we get the point about baptism and so ...read more

  • Picking The Wrong Door

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 31, 2011
     | 5,105 views

    PICKING THE WRONG DOOR Stuart Briscoe, in his book Everyday Discipleship for Ordinary People, tells the story about a fellow pastor who was officiating at the funeral of a war veteran. The dead man’s military friends wanted to have a part in the service at the funeral home, so they requested that ...read more

  • The Dead Rat

    Contributed by Paul Steen on Dec 11, 2017
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,066 views

    A boy ran into his house to tell his mom something. He had a dead rat in his hand. But he didn't notice that the pastor of their church was talking to his mom. The boy said, “Mom, you'll never guess what! I was out behind the garage and there was this rat. I picked up a rock and threw it and hit ...read more

  • Grudges And Pride Keep Us From Reconciling With ...  PRO

    Contributed by Russell Brownworth on May 21, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,454 views

    Grudges and pride keep us from reconciling with each other. They destroy the thought of forgiveness. The pastor and his wife were going to give a mid-morning garden party. They invited everyone with engraved invitations. The delightful back yard of the parsonage was manicured, tables decorated ...read more

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