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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

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  • Too Late To Date  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 5, 2003
    based on 10 ratings
     | 2,986 views

    *Too Late To Date* An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to ...read more

  • Little Emily, The Minister's Daughter, Ran Into ...

    Contributed by James Westmoreland on Oct 23, 2006
     | 1,582 views

    Little Emily, the minister’s daughter, ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break. "What’s wrong, dear?" asked the pastor. "My doll! Billy broke it!" she sobbed. "How did he break it, Emily?" "I hit him over the head with ...read more

  • Satan Says In Effect To Jesus In Matthew 4

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jan 2, 2010
     | 1,552 views

    Satan says in effect to Jesus in Matthew 4 "JUST COMPROMISE AND YOU’LL GET WHAT YOU WANT", But the AUTHORITY OF RULE doesn’t come with a CROWN OF POWER from the enemy. It comes with a CROSS OF SUFFERING and humility. Satan says "I’ll give you POWER WITHOUT THE PAIN, A CROWN WITHOUT THE ...read more

  • Teens Admire...?

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Mar 10, 2010
     | 2,740 views

    TEENS ADMIRE...? Have you thought lately about who teenagers admire? World Almanac and Book of Facts surveyed eight graders a few years ago and discovered that the top thirty names were movie stars and athletes. Not one admired adult was a religious leader, statesman, author, painter, doctor, ...read more

  • Dr. Stephen F. Olford Was Blessed With A Long ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,045 views

    Dr. Stephen F. Olford was blessed with a long and fruitful ministry on both sides of the Atlantic. Olford Ministries International in Memphis, Tennessee, is his legacy. His passion was for training pastors, preachers, teachers, and leaders in effective, expository preaching. In his book Preaching ...read more

  • The Last Invitation

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Feb 14, 2009
     | 4,110 views

    THE LAST INVITATION While pastoring at the FBC of Cherryville, North Carolina, a disturbance was observed, and shortly afterward a man was taken from the balcony of the church [and placed] in an ambulance. He was dead before they got him to the hospital. He died before the invitation could be ...read more

  • Praying In The Hay

    Contributed by Guy Caley on May 5, 2003
     | 2,909 views

    PRAYING IN THE HAY Armin Gesswein learned about praying God’s promises in a hayloft. Armin was a longtime Pastor, interdenominational prayer organizer and founder of the "Revival Prayer fellowship." When he began as a young Lutheran pastor trying to establish a church on Long Island and having ...read more

  • Ticket When Going To Train Station-Going 60 In 40 ...

    Contributed by Myriam Salcedo-Gonzalez on Dec 2, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,464 views

    Ticket when going to train station-going 60 in 40 zone. I wanted to fight it! The radar was wrong. When was the last time they checked it? I had just come out from a stop sign and the road was uphill, how could I be going 60? Impossible! Good thing I was not close to the my church! Can you imagine, ...read more

  • Don't Wait On The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009
     | 3,984 views

    DON’T WAIT ON THE DECISION I recently heard a terrible story about a young man who made a bad decision. The church of a pastor friend of mine had a drama about hell, and a mother brought her 26-year-old son who had been in rehab. When the pastor gave the invitation, the mother got up to go to the ...read more

  • Reconcilation Story

    Contributed by Jim Kane on May 18, 2009
     | 2,575 views

    RECONCILATION STORY It was a conversation that has stuck with me over the years. I was not a part of the conversation, per se, but I was a part of the audience that listened. I think that it took place in 1986 but I cannot remember. It was, I remember, a Sunday night at the church where I was ...read more

  • Boss: Mark Dever On The Four Aspects Of ...

    Contributed by Tim White on May 7, 2011
     | 2,991 views

    BOSS: MARK DEVER ON THE FOUR ASPECTS OF LEADERSHIP B=Boss. The leader "reproves, rebukes, and exhorts with all longsuffering and doctrine." There is a delicate balance in local churches between pastoral authority (Hebrews 13) and congregational authority (Matthew 18). The pastors must exercise ...read more

  • But We Must Focus On The ...

    Contributed by Brian Harvison on May 29, 2008
     | 3,419 views

    But we must focus on the good Reminds me of a story about a newlywed farmer and his wife Mother-in-law visit demanding an inspection Genuinely tried to be friendly Hoping for non-antagonistic relationship To no avail, nagged at every opportunity Demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and ...read more

  • Stumbling Block Of Envy

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Sep 4, 2008
     | 4,216 views

    Stumbling Block of Envy When I was a few months from graduation from seminary, the church I had attended during college had a position open and I was very interested in it. The pastor had become a spiritual mentor to me, and I was hopeful for the opportunity to work with him. When we met to ...read more

  • In The First Half Of The 17th Century, Germany ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Oct 14, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,676 views

    In the first half of the 17th century, Germany was in the midst of wars and famine and pestilence. In the city of Eilenburg lived a pastor by the name of Martin Rinkart. During one especially oppressive period, Rinkart conducted up to 50 funerals a day as a plague swept through the town and as the ...read more

  • A Common Phrase Used In The World Of Healing Is, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Mar 22, 2005
    based on 5 ratings
     | 2,635 views

    A common phrase used in the world of healing is, “time heals all wounds.” I have found this to be more false than true. As a pastor, I talk regularly with people who are still carrying hurts from 30 or 40 years ago. The real truth is, time often makes things worse. Wounds that are left untended ...read more

  • Church Finances: The Average Church Budget Size ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
     | 2,333 views

    Church finances: The average church budget size is $292,790 (median: $203,590). Senior pastors earn a median base salary of $31,006 and a median housing allowance of $15,250. 66% of church treasurers are responsible for the oversight of church expenditures. 57% of churches use debt only as needed ...read more

  • What We Believe: A Recent Newsweek Poll Gauges ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
    based on 6 ratings
     | 3,400 views

    What We Believe: A recent Newsweek poll gauges Americans’ opinions on the Book of Revelation and end times: *36% believe the Book of Revelation contains “true prophecy,” while 47% say it is metaphorical. *55% think the faithful will be taken up to heaven in the rapture. *74% of Americans believe ...read more

  • Recently, The Media Reported On A Well Known ...

    Contributed by Michael De Rosa on Nov 5, 2006
     | 2,007 views

    Recently, the media reported on a well known Christian pastor, Ted Haggard, who allegedy committed the sin of homosexuality. It was hurtful to read this. It was only a few short years before this that I read one of his books, How to keep your City from going to Hell. I was motivated by it, but ...read more

  • Wisdom, Skill, And ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 2, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,508 views

    Wisdom, Skill, and Virtue Someone once said: Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. (Everywoman’s Family Circle as found in Tan, Paul Lee: Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations : A Treasury of Illustrations, Anecdotes, Facts and Quotations for ...read more

  • The Joy That I Pursue

    Contributed by Tim Spear on Dec 4, 2012
     | 2,883 views

    "The joy that I pursue is not the hope of getting rich with things from you. I have not come to you for your things, but for yourself. And this desire I now intensify and demonstrate by giving up things, in the hope of enjoying you more, not things. By giving to you what you do not need, and what I ...read more