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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

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  • A Recent Lutheran Brotherhood Poll Reveals Adults ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 5, 2006
     | 1,989 views

    A recent Lutheran Brotherhood poll reveals adults spend about the same amount time shopping in December as they do attending religious services. Men spend an average 12.7% of their time shopping vs. 13.6% attending religious services, while women spend 19.1% and ...read more

  • Spiritual Superstition More Than 30% Of Americans ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 3, 2006
     | 2,540 views

    Spiritual Superstition More than 30% of Americans believe in astrology and over half believe in ghosts. However, many of the same folks say they believe in God, the resurrection of Christ and the virgin birth. A recent Harris Poll finds the trend is strong among the young, with 60% of those under ...read more

  • Religion Outranks Politics In Importance To ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 3, 2006
     | 2,440 views

    Religion Outranks Politics in importance to individuals, and people think politics, not religion, fuels violence, according to a poll by Zogby International and the University of Rochester. The survey, a first-ever worldwide poll of 4,388 people on religious beliefs, revealed, “the majority of ...read more

  • One Old Minister Heard Some Ask In A Service ...

    Contributed by Tony Abram on Jul 7, 2008
     | 1,525 views

    One old minister heard some ask in a service "Pastor did not Peter say the devil walk about as a roaring lion?" The pastor answered saying "The reason the devil is roaring is that Jesus pulled all his teeth and all the devil can do is make noise because he is ...read more

  • Porn Statistics

    Contributed by Alison Bucklin on Jul 11, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,645 views

    PORN STATISTICS • A 2003 survey from Internet Filter Review reported that 47 percent of Christians admit pornography is a major problem in their homes. • An internet survey conducted by Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in 2002 found 30 percent of 6,000 pastors had viewed internet porn in the last ...read more

  • Too Often Our Gratitude Is Dependent Upon The ...  PRO

    Contributed by John Roy on Jan 29, 2001
    based on 127 ratings
     | 6,065 views

    Too often our gratitude is dependent upon the circumstances of life. A beautiful hymn was written by Martin Rinkart during the thirty-year war to help us look beyond our circumstances and see the hand of God. Rinkart was a pastor in Saxony, Germany as the turbulent years of the war dragged on. For ...read more

  • Was That Somebody You?  PRO

    Contributed by Jun Tadena on Aug 25, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,750 views

    "Was That Somebody You?" Tom Carter, the evangelist, told this in one of his messages: While he was holding meetings in a Pennsylvania town, a young man who had formerly lived next door to the parsonage committed a murder. The whole community was stirred. Mr. Carter and the pastor obtained ...read more

  • Grudges And Pride Keep Us From Reconciling With ...  PRO

    Contributed by Russell Brownworth on May 21, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,799 views

    Grudges and pride keep us from reconciling with each other. They destroy the thought of forgiveness. The pastor and his wife were going to give a mid-morning garden party. They invited everyone with engraved invitations. The delightful back yard of the parsonage was manicured, tables decorated ...read more

  • Preacher Focuses On Baptism Regardless Of Sermon ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 26, 2009
     | 6,325 views

    Preacher Focuses On Baptism Regardless of Sermon Text The story is told of a pastor who had just starting serving a new congregation. For eight Sundays in a row he preached about baptism. Finally, the chairman of the elders approached him and said, “Preacher, we get the point about baptism and so ...read more

  • Picking The Wrong Door

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 31, 2011
     | 5,750 views

    PICKING THE WRONG DOOR Stuart Briscoe, in his book Everyday Discipleship for Ordinary People, tells the story about a fellow pastor who was officiating at the funeral of a war veteran. The dead man’s military friends wanted to have a part in the service at the funeral home, so they requested that ...read more

  • The Dead Rat

    Contributed by Paul Steen on Dec 11, 2017
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,697 views

    A boy ran into his house to tell his mom something. He had a dead rat in his hand. But he didn't notice that the pastor of their church was talking to his mom. The boy said, “Mom, you'll never guess what! I was out behind the garage and there was this rat. I picked up a rock and threw it and hit ...read more

  • The Holy Spirit Had A Monopoly On Moody

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 13, 2022
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,596 views

    Dwight L. Moody was a shoe salesman from Chicago who fell in love with Jesus and started sharing his faith with everyone he met. Even though he was never ordained or had formal training, God used him to reach thousands for Christ as an evangelist. There was a group of British pastors who were ...read more

  • Cheating

    Contributed by David Parks on Jan 23, 2023
     | 1,302 views

    Cheating now more common Once upon a time in a tiny French village, the townspeople decided to honor their parish priest by each bringing a bottle of wine the following Sunday for the pastor’s empty wine barrel. The pastor was delighted, and he asked all in attendance to join him for a glass of ...read more

  • We Believe: According To A Recent Newsweek Poll, ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 27, 2006
     | 1,664 views

    We Believe: According to a recent Newsweek Poll, 78% of Americans believe that Jesus rose from the dead after the crucifixion, and 75% believe He was sent to earth to absolve mankind of sin. The article, From Jesus to Christ, also reports that Christianity is now the world’s largest faith, with two ...read more

  • Christian Football!!  PRO

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Feb 9, 2005
    based on 7 ratings
     | 3,310 views

    Humor Illustration: CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!! Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship. Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave. Benchwarmer - Those who do ...read more

  • What My Mother Taught Me  PRO

    Contributed by Joel Vicente on Feb 14, 2005
    based on 13 ratings
     | 15,415 views

    Illustrate Humor: WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me LOGIC: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why." My mother taught me ...read more

  • Buy Me Out  PRO

    Contributed by Robert Garrett on May 29, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 2,852 views

    “BUY ME OUT” A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," he said. "To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn ...read more

  • Here Are Some Of The More Humerous Tombstone ...

    Contributed by John Braland on Apr 3, 2007
     | 2,813 views

    Here are some of the more humerous tombstone enscriptions found around the globe. Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. • In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And ...read more

  • An Older Minister Recently Told Me He Spent The ...  PRO

    Contributed by David Parks on Aug 15, 2002
    based on 43 ratings
     | 2,299 views

    An older minister recently told me he spent the first fifteen years of his ministry answering the question “Did God create the heavens and the earth?” only to realize the people were really asking, “Why did God create me?” Source: Fenton, G. 1999. Your ministry’s next chapter. The pastor’s soul ...read more

  • No Answer: Barna Research Phoned 3400 Randomly ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
     | 1,348 views

    No Answer: Barna Research phoned 3400 randomly selected Protestant churches from across the U.S. during December and 55% offered no human answer. Overall: 19% had neither a person nor an answering machine responding to calls; 16% had an answering machine responding; 20% had either an answering ...read more