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In Sermon Illustrations: "Never Happened"

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  • A Farmer Went Into His House One Day To Tell His ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 7, 2003
     | 1,163 views

    A farmer went into his house one day to tell his wife and family some good news. "The cow just gave birth to twin calves, one red and one white," he said. "We must give one of these calves to the Lord. We will bring them up together, and when the time comes, we will sell one and keep the proceeds ...read more

  • I Was Eating In A Restaurant When Mike Croel, A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Stan Rodda on Oct 19, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,455 views

    I was eating in a restaurant when Mike Croel, a linebacker for the Denver Broncos walked in. I was so excited because he played for the Nebraska Cornhuskers in college and I had followed his career closely. I happened to be wearing Huskers stuff and went and got his autograph right there at the ...read more

  • There Was A Show Once Called "Amos And Andy" In ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jeff Simms on Oct 9, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 5,279 views

    There was a show once called “Amos and Andy” in that show there was a big man who would slap Andy across the chest whenever they met. Finally, Andy got enough of it and said to Amos, “I am fixed for him. I put a stick of dynamite in my vest pocket and the next time he slaps me he is going to get ...read more

  • Jesus Says In His Society There Is A New Way For ...  PRO

    Contributed by Chris Tiller on Nov 15, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,099 views

    “Jesus says in his society there is a new way for [people] to live: you show wisdom, by trusting people; you handle leadership, by serving; you handle offenders, by forgiving; you handle money, by sharing; you handle enemies, by loving; and you handle violence, by suffering. In fact, you have a ...read more

  • In 1883 In Allentown, New Jersey, A Wooden ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 21, 2005
     | 1,759 views

    In 1883 in Allentown, New Jersey, a wooden Indian—the kind that was seen in front of cigar stores—was placed on the ballot for Justice of the Peace. The candidate was registered under the fictitious name of Abner Robbins. When the ballots were counted, Abner won over incumbent Sam Davis by 7 votes. ...read more

  • Living In Darkness  PRO

    Contributed by Terry Barnhill on Nov 5, 2006
    based on 5 ratings
     | 6,866 views

    CHILREN’S SERMON I once heard about a confrontation between a young boy and his mother. The mother asked her son, "Young man, there were two cookies in the pantry this morning! May I ask how it happened that there’s only one now?" The boy didn’t flinch but said, "It must’ve been so dark I didn’t ...read more

  • One Man Was Always Worrying. He Worried About His ...  PRO

    Contributed by Gerald Cornelius on Mar 27, 2001
    based on 208 ratings
     | 7,497 views

    One man was always worrying. He worried about his children, his job, his wife, his health. One day a friend of this man noted that he was extremely calm and peaceful. "Why are you so calm?, he asked. "You always worry about every-thing. What happened?" The former worrier replied, "I just hired a ...read more

  • Vernon Grounds Writes, "A Friend Told Me Of ...  PRO

    Contributed by Evie Megginson on Jul 19, 2001
    based on 124 ratings
     | 2,598 views

    Vernon Grounds writes, “A friend told me of an incident that happened while he was in seminary. Since the school had no gymnasium, he and his friends played basketball in a nearby public school. Nearby, an elderly janitor waited patiently until they finished playing. Invariably he sat there reading ...read more

  • Compassion Should Motivate Us To More Than Just ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,447 views

    Compassion should motivate us to more than just feeling sorrow for someone it should motivate us to action. Pity is a feeling, but true compassion demands an action. There is a funny story about Peter admitting people at the gates of heaven. Peter asks one man who appears, ‘Tell me one act of ...read more

  • Psychologist William Marston Asked Three ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,759 views

    Psychologist William Marston asked three thousand people, "What have you to live for?" He was shocked to discover that ninety-four percent were simply enduring the present while they waited for the future, waited for something to happen, waited for "next year," waited for a "better time," waited ...read more

  • There Was A Pastor Who Had A Parrot. All The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,028 views

    There was a pastor who had a parrot. All the parrot would say was, “Let’s pray, let’s pray.” He learned that one of his deacons had a parrot that would only say, “Let’s kiss. Let’s kiss.” So the pastor invited the deacon and his parrot over to his house. When the deacon arrived they put the parrots ...read more

  • A Few Years Ago A Certain Pastor Was Sick On A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,470 views

    A few years ago a certain pastor was sick on a Sunday morning. That hadn’t happened for a number of years. He tried to hold my head up long enough to watch a little religious television that morning. A local congregation had a program and their special speaker that day was Oliver North. What he ...read more

  • A Young Customs Official Noticed A Woman ...

    Contributed by Rick Bezanson on Oct 26, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,478 views

    A young customs official noticed a woman crossing the border every day on a motorcycle with a wooden box strapped on the back of the motorcycle. The guard knew she was trying to smuggle something into the country so he stopped her and searched the box. There was nothing in the box except sand, so ...read more

  • Hope Is A Powerful Thing….

    Contributed by Richard Schwedes on Oct 31, 2007
     | 1,659 views

    Hope is a powerful thing…. A number of years ago researchers performed an experiment to see the effect hope has on those undergoing hardship. Two sets of laboratory rats were placed in separate tubs of water. The researchers left one set in the water and found that within an hour they had all ...read more

  • French Novelist/Playwright Alexandre Dumas Once ...

    Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Jan 30, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,510 views

    French novelist/playwright Alexandre Dumas once had a heated quarrel with a young politician. The argument became so intense that a duel was inevitable. Since both men were superb shots they decided to draw lots, the loser agreeing to shoot himself. Dumas lost. Pistol in hand, he withdrew in ...read more

  • Time Magazine Reported In January 1995 That An ...

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Apr 14, 2008
     | 986 views

    Time magazine reported in January 1995 that an earthquake in Kobe, Japan, occurred when two plates on a fault line fifteen miles offshore suddenly shifted against each other, violently lurching six to ten feet in opposite directions. The result was the worst Japanese earthquake since 1923. ...read more

  • S ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 23, 2008
     | 1,216 views

    SECURITY? What’s good about America? How about peace and security? A lady said: Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. But both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I’d like to order a large pepperoni, please," I ...read more

  • Passion For ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 22, 2008
     | 5,664 views

    Passion for God A. W. Tozer said, “God dwells in a state of perpetual enthusiasm. He is delighted with all that is good and lovingly concerned about all that is wrong. He pursues His labors always in a fullness of holy zeal. No wonder the Spirit came at Pentecost as a sound of a rushing mighty ...read more

  • The Iron

    Contributed by Darrell Campbell on Sep 4, 2018
    based on 1 rating
     | 7,109 views

    A man comes home while his wife is in the middle of ironing . He says to his wife, "Honey, I need to take a quick shower, but I am expecting an urgent call. Would you get it for me if they call?" The man proceeds to jump in the shower, and the phone rings and rings and rings. He jumps out the ...read more

  • Public Can Be Not So Bright

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 13, 2021
     | 1,323 views

    Airline personnel deal with the public, and anyone who deals with the public has stories. " Farida can’t even begin to count how many times she’s been asked to open a window or the emergency exit to “let some fresh air in.” Incredibly enough, this doesn’t just happen on the ground, but also ...read more