based on 5 ratings
| 4,431 views
TEN THINGS A MOM DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR
1. I swallowed a goldfish.
2. Your lipstick works better than crayons.
3. Does grape juice leave a stain???
4. The principal called...
5. But DAD says that word all the time.
6. What’s it cost to fix a window???
7. Has anyone seen my earthworms???
8. I
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 7, 2002
based on 28 ratings
| 2,719 views
THE TOP TEN THINGS YOU LEARNED FROM YOUR FATHER
10.When he was your age, kids had to walk six miles to school
in the snow and rain . . . uphill both ways.
9. If he had acted like you, his father would have knocked
him into the middle of next week.
8. When he was your age, kids had to make
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Contributed by Donnie Martin on May 11, 2003
based on 2 ratings
| 5,495 views
A fifteen-year-old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed. He asked if she were sick or something. He was truly concerned. Mom replied that, as a matter of fact, she didn’t feel too well. The son replied, “Well, don’t worry a bit about dinner. I’ll be happy to
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Davon Huss on Jun 16, 2003
based on 6 ratings
| 1,497 views
In an Eastern city a prominent man became greatly concerned about his boy, and consequently went to the boy’s school principal and asked for suggestions. The principal gave this reply: “Resign from the presidency of the chamber of commerce. Leave that position to someone whose family has grown
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Jun 17, 2003
based on 23 ratings
| 2,768 views
FOR YOU, MOTHER
This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf full of Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It’s OK honey, Mommy’s here."
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 26, 2004
based on 11 ratings
| 1,620 views
TOP TEN LIST OF WHAT MOMS REALLY WANT FOR MOTHER'S DAY
10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a Coke
without any "floaters."
9. To have a 14-year-old answer a question without rolling her eyes
in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.
8. Five pounds of
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Contributed by Sermon Central on May 4, 2004
based on 6 ratings
| 1,761 views
ACCORDING TO THE NUMBERS
82: Percentage of women ages 40-44 who are mothers (down from
90% in 1976)
4 million: Number of women a year who become mothers (or about 40%
of all births in a year)
25.1: Average age of first-time mothers (a record high, up
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Contributed by Sermon Central on May 4, 2004
based on 6 ratings
| 1,963 views
WHAT TO GET MOM
Survey after survey tries to detemine what women really want for Mother’s Day.
According to a survey by Circuit City, less than 5% of mothers surveyed prefer candy. 30% prefer flowers, and almost that many — 27% — want a digital camera.
A survey of new moms by The First
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Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2004
based on 5 ratings
| 1,741 views
WHAT DO MOTHERS WANT?
Maggie Gallagher is President of the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy and a co-author of The Case for Marriage.
As an early-forties mom, she is beginning to regret the children that she never had. She always wanted four, but career and life left her with two.
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Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2004
based on 10 ratings
| 2,125 views
QUESTIONS ABOUT MOMS
What’s the difference between moms and dads?
~ Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
~ Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
~ Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you gotta ask
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Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2004
based on 1 rating
| 2,755 views
JUST LIKE MOM’S
Cathy Thomas, a former associate at the Orange County Register in Santa Ana, California, is a cooking teacher of considerable repute. She calls herself, however, "no stranger to the gastronomic adventures of Mother’s Day."
Back when it was first in vogue during the 1980s, she
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Contributed by Richard Berry on Jun 21, 2004
based on 3 ratings
| 6,639 views
Kenneth Chaflin, a seminary professor who often speaks and writes about building stronger families was home getting ready to eat supper before heading off to a speaking engagement. His 5yr old daughter came and said, “Daddy will you stay home with me tonight?” Her plea pierced his soul. He thought
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Pb Stetser on Jul 6, 2004
based on 6 ratings
| 3,925 views
Dreary Statistics
• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes --U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census
• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes --Center for Disease Control
• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes
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Denomination:
Holiness
Contributed by Joel Santos on Dec 26, 2004
based on 8 ratings
| 4,030 views
A certain king had two servants. To the first he said, "I want you to travel for six months through my kingdom and bring back a sample of every weed you can find."
To the second servant the king said, "I want you to travel through my kingdom for six months and bring back a sample of every flower
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Jim Kane on Feb 2, 2005
based on 4 ratings
| 2,035 views
The January 3rd edition of the daily e-mail column, Mikey’s Funnies, listed Fifteen Exercises We’d Be Better Off Without in 2005. Here they are!
(Overheads 1 and 2)
~ Jumping on the bandwagon
~ Wading through paperwork
~ Running around in circles
~ Pushing your luck
~ Spinning your wheels
~
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Sermon Central