Contributed by Steve Smith on May 5, 2006
ILL: Do you remember the story about Tony Toto, of Allentown, PA.? He operated a pizza parlor there. Tony Toto survived at least 5 attempts on his life, all arranged for or carried out by his dear wife, Frances, & her lover.
Twice she arranged for assailants to beat him over the head with
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Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jul 24, 2006
The Jewish teachings echo Peter’s words…The Talmud says {Sepher Musar apud Drus. de Quaesitis, Ep. 54. & in loc.}, "the wife ought to take care of the family, to educate her children, to serve and minister to her husband in all things, "calling him her own lord"; which is
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Aug 13, 2006
A man once asked a friend why he never got married? "Looking for the perfect girl" was the reply. "Surely you’ve meet at least one girl that you wanted to marry?" "Yes once. She was the perfect girl in every way."
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Baptist
Contributed by Allen Patterson on Aug 21, 2006
A Wall Or Bridge
They say a wife and husband, bit by bit,
Can rear between themselves a mighty wall,
So thick they cannot speak with ease through it,
Nor can they see across it, it stands so tall.
Its nearness frightens them, but each alone
Is powerless to tear its bulk away;
and each dejected
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Mark Suter on Sep 19, 2006
based on 5 ratings
| 2,138 views
Speaking of Adam and Eve, someone has suggested that they had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married--and she
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Methodist
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Oct 9, 2006
based on 8 ratings
| 1,558 views
A man was reading his paper early one morning at the breakfast table. His wife came over to him and patted him on the shoulder. She looked at him, smiled, and said, “I bet you don’t know what today is, do you?” He looked at her and said, “Of course I know what day it is!” and went back to
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Nov 6, 2006
A man and his wife who had been married for 45 years went on VACATION to Jerusalem. While they were there, the HUSBAND suddenly passed away with a HEART ATTACK. The FUNERAL DIRECTOR told the wife, “You can have your husband shipped HOME for $5,000, or you can BURY him here, in the Holy Land, for
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by John Shearhart on Jan 3, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 2,438 views
When she says:
“It’s your decision.” She really means, “The correct decision should be obvious by now.”
“Do what you want.” She really means, “You’ll pay for this later.”
“I’ll be ready in a minute. She really means, “Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.”
“You have to learn to
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Contributed by Bo Dunford on Jan 15, 2007
based on 4 ratings
| 2,546 views
* I’ve learned the meaning of a few words that women
use from time to time. * For instance ... The word “Fine.”
* This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
C) “Five Minutes.” * If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour!
* Five minutes is
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Baptist
Contributed by Davon Huss on Feb 12, 2007
This fellow was very nervous as he contemplated asking Miss Jones to marry him. So he decided to ask her over the telephone. So he calls on the telephone.
And he says, "Is this Miss Jones?"
And she says, "Yes."
And he says, "Could I talk to you?"
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Jerry Caddell on Feb 16, 2007
Another young man was looking through the classifieds in search of a used car when he came upon an ad for a brand new Jaguar being sold for only $50. Surely he thought this was typo, but calling the number listed he was assured that $50 was correct. The next day he went by to see the car and to his
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Methodist
Contributed by Mary Lewis on May 29, 2001
based on 129 ratings
| 2,526 views
In the musical “Fiddler on the Roof,” Tevye, a man devoted to tradition, finds his thinking challenged when his oldest daughter wants to marry for love, instead of having her marriage arranged by her parents. It had never occurred to him that one would marry for love, and one night he cannot help
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Baptist
Contributed by Guy Caley on Dec 15, 2001
based on 3 ratings
| 2,117 views
Did you hear about the Man who read to his wife from the paper that researchers had found that women use twice as many words per day as women? The wife replied that that was because they had to repeat everything
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Assembly Of God
Contributed by Mike Dubose on Mar 3, 2002
based on 97 ratings
| 2,375 views
Three men were out fishing one day & caught a mermaid. The mermaid said she would grant them each a wish if they would let her go.
So the 1st man said, “make me twice as smart as I already am." The mermaid said, your wish is granted & immediately the man started quoting Shakespeare & had this
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Methodist
Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Mar 18, 2002
based on 112 ratings
| 1,919 views
Panel of Women debated on what they thought was a perfect man, a guy who was ‘with it’. You would have thought they would have decided upon some actor or athlete even a wealthy tycoon. They decided that the perfect man was MR POTATO HEAD. 4 Reasons: ‘He’s tan, he’s cute, he
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Contributed by Brendon Bridges on Mar 30, 2002
based on 87 ratings
| 2,745 views
A bride was very nervous. It was right before the service. She wasn’t sure she could even walk down aisle. Her mother gave her some words of calming wisdom. She said to her. “Honey, there’s only three things you need to focus on. If you focus on these three things, you’ll be fine. The first is
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 3, 2002
based on 30 ratings
| 1,716 views
"Treasuring is an attitude we carry in our hearts, a conviction we hold deep down inside. It’s one big decision that plays itself out in 10,000 little decisions every day of our lives. This one giant choice to treasure your husband lights up a
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Contributed by Lynn Floyd on Apr 12, 2002
based on 29 ratings
| 1,961 views
“The husband who plops himself down in front of the t.v. and orders his wife around like a slave has abandoned
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Denomination:
Baptist
Sermon Central