In Sermon Illustrations: "Jokes" showing 341-360 of 368

Secure In My Pocket

Contributed by Larry Turner on Jul 28, 2014

My phone was secure. I had it shoved far down into my pants pocket. There was no way it could fall out; no way could I lose it. I denied it at the time but I saw the signs. They read “Please put any items that you do not want to lose in the bins or lockers before getting on the ride.” I chose to ...read more

Scripture: Mark 8:35

Tags: Dying To Self, False Confidence

Denomination: Foursquare

I Just Kissed Yesterday Goodbye

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 15, 2022

Focus is an essential part of getting something done. Sometimes my focus is more on yesterday than it is today. I waste a lot of time looking backward. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage often rebukes me because I look in the past. I talk more about yesterday than I do today. On the other ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 118:24

Tags: Blessing, Focus

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What A Crazy World We Live In

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 26, 2022

Driving home from an appointment across town, my wife and I encountered some crazy driver weaving in and out on the road in front of us. The fact that there was not an accident was somewhat surprising. “What,” The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage exclaimed, “is wrong with people?” Looking at ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Tags: Family, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

I Read The Moving Story Entitled, "Dad's Glimpse ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

I READ THE MOVING STORY ENTITLED, "DAD’S GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN" BY EDNA HERSHBERGER WHICH SAID: “HIS LAST WORDS LEFT US WITH SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. AT 4:00 A.M. THE NURSE WOKE DAD TO GIVE HIM A BREATHING TREATMENT. "MR. HERSH, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?" "GOSHEN HOSPITAL," HE ANSWERED POLITELY ...read more

Tags: Heaven

The Story Of Rick Warren And His Best-Selling ...  PRO

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Oct 20, 2008

The story of Rick Warren and his best-selling book the "The Purpose Driven Life." What is he doing with all the money? USA Today article: June 4th 2006 edition: A uniter, not a divider Warren is no liberal. He backed President Bush in the 2004 election and opposes abortion and stem cell ...read more

Tags: Giving Yourself

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

We Weren’t Expecting That

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 1, 2023

Sometimes things happen that you never expected. When those unexpected things happen, if they are good, that is a blessing, if they are bad, that’s a different story. I learned this expectation of good from my good old Uncle Ted. He was a truck driver, and boy, did he have the stories to ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 2:15

Tags: Free Lunch, Expectation

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Coolest Dad In The Universe  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001

THE COOLEST DAD IN THE UNIVERSE He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I didn’t know why he was home instead of Mom, but I was young and the only one of my friends who had their dad around. I considered myself very lucky. Dad did so many things ...read more

Tags: Father's Day, Parenting

My Thoughts Are Worth More Than A Penny

Contributed by James Snyder on May 30, 2020

Dr. James L. Snyder I must admit that I do gravel a lot in thinking about my thoughts. It has been a habit of mine down through the years. Thinking is what really makes life worth living, or so I believe. My father had a saying whenever he saw me staring off into the distance, “A penny for your ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 139:17

Tags: Thoughts, Thinking, Penny

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Red Isn’t Always The Red I See

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 2, 2021

It is not that I am colorblind; I just am color indifferent. Red and blue and yellow are all the same to me. This, on many occasions, has challenged the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, who is very meticulous when it comes to describing anything or anyone. In remodeling my office at the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 20:12

Tags: Christmas, Humor, Gifts

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Splish Splash, I Forgot To Take A Bath

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 8, 2022

If you had the opportunity to speak to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, she would probably tell you that one of my strengths is forgetting. I'm not sure how far into the subject she would get. When it comes to forgetting, I am outstanding on the back lawn, and my expertise in this area ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:2

Tags: Memory, Forgetting

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Laughter Is Not For Sissies

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 12, 2022

Since birth, I have been infected with a Laughter-Virus. I’m not sure which side of the family it came from, or it could’ve come from both sides. But the least little thing will make me laugh. Sometimes I have a hard time stopping laughing. I have yet to find a mask big enough to cover my face ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 126:2

Tags: Virus, Laughter

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

It Never Dawned On Me Until

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 20, 2022

I must confess I am too poor to pay attention at this time in my life. I hope one day I will win the lottery and be able to afford to pay attention. But, of course, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says that you can’t win a lottery unless you play the lottery. Well, I don’t play the lottery. ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Tags: Attention, Listening

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

If I’m Not Crazy Nobody Is

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 18, 2023

Last Sunday, we were driving to our Sunday morning church service and encountered a lot of crazy drivers. As The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was driving, I kept my cool and, more importantly, my mouth closed. Every once in a while, she would say, “What’s wrong with these crazy drivers?” I ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Tags: Apple Fritter, Drivers, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

So This Is Old Age

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 29, 2023

Dr. James L. Snyder The other morning I got up; at least, I tried to get up, but the bones in every part of my body had organized a labor strike against me. I’m not quite sure what they were protesting. As I lay there groaning over these bones, I did not realize how many bones I had in my body. ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 32:3

Tags: Bones, Age

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Cultivating The Fine Art Of Listening

Contributed by James Snyder on Dec 16, 2023

If confession is good for the soul, I must confess here, I have not been successful at everything in my life. Oh yes, there are a few things I have been successful at, which I won’t mention right now. But many things I have failed to succeed at. One thing I have failed to succeed at, even though I ...read more

Scripture: James 1:19

Tags: Hearing, Relationships

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Regifting Queen Of The Family

Contributed by James Snyder on Dec 30, 2023

Sitting around the Christmas tree with my family and opening up Christmas presents, it stirred fond memories of my Aunt Edith. She was known as The Regifting Queen of our family. And believe me, she earned that name quite well. Most of the family didn't catch on to what she was doing. I know ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:7-8

Tags: Gifting, Christmas

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Room  PRO

Contributed by Ely Lambert on Aug 19, 2002

The Room In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, ...read more

Tags: God's Provision, Forgiveness In Jesus

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Parable Of The Good Muslims  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 14, 2002

THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD MUSLIMS It is difficult to imagine more bleak circumstances; the young mother and her small children, truck packed full of all of their belongings, were in process of moving from rural North Carolina to the mother’s childhood home in Connecticut. Life had taken a tragic ...read more

Tags: Parable Good Samaritan, Christian Love, Compassion

I’d Rather Kiss A Goat

Contributed by James Snyder on May 15, 2023

There are very few things in my life I regret; at least that I can remember. One of the good things about getting old is that you can forget many things. The important thing is to forget the right thing, which is a challenge. You can be sure I work on this all the time. It takes a really good ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:36-37

Tags: Accountability, Excuses, Goat, Kiss

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

These Old Bones Of Mine

Contributed by James Snyder on May 20, 2023

I had a frightening experience the other day. I know I must be getting old because things that never frightened me before frighten me. I also see things I never saw before. Going into the bathroom one morning, I looked in the mirror, and my grandfather looked back at me. I almost passed out. With ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 51:8, Psalm 34:20

Tags: Joy, Humor, Age, Bones

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance