In Sermon Illustrations: "Joke"

Hell Is Real  PRO

Contributed by Frederick Baker Ii on Apr 5, 2008

Hell Is Real ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I went into my classroom Ready for another year at school. I didn’t want the work, Just wanted to hang and be cool. I had on new clothes, New sneaks on my feet. I was there for class on time Went to the back and took my seat. Yeah, I’m moving up. I’m ...read more

Denomination: *other

Gifted Does Not Equal "Successful"

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 12, 2009

"GIFTED" DOES NOT EQUAL "SUCCESSFUL" This week, I’ve begun reading a new book by one of my favorite authors, Malcolm Gladwell, titled "Outliers: The Story of Success." The premise of the book is simple: no successful person is a self-made man; everyone who gets to the top had a lot advantages, ...read more

Tags: Gifts General

Folks I'd Like To Introduce The Legendary Johnny ...  PRO

Contributed by Don Hawks on Feb 28, 2002

Folks I’d like to introduce the legendary Johnny Cash and his famous song—A Boy Named Sue. (Singer with guitar sings song) My daddy left home when I was three And he didn’t leave much to ma and me Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. Now, I don’t blame him cause he run and hid But ...read more

Tags: Endurance

Denomination: Methodist

Moses' Stutter  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Moses’ Stutter The hallway is silent now except for the two wheels of the mop bucket and the shuffle of the old man’s feet. Both sound tired. Both know these floors. How many nights has Hank cleaned them? Always careful to get in the corners. Always careful to set up his yellow caution sign ...read more

Tags: Faith General

The Red Neck Wedding

Contributed by Shawn Drake on Feb 22, 2003

The Red Neck Wedding In the Summer of 2000 a couple came to me and explained that they wanted me to perform their Wedding ceremony. The man was a farmer and the woman had grown up on a farm. They explained to me that this was both of their 2nd marriage and neither one of them had a Church ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 126:2

Tags: Wedding, Humorous Weddings

Denomination: Baptist

The Lord Gave Me This Message This Past Tuesday, ...

Contributed by William Noel on Dec 31, 2006

The Lord gave me this message this past Tuesday, while at a home school choir concert. · I have to admit, the style of music that they sing is not what I normally listen to. · Also, since Sis. Noel takes the kids to their weekly rehearsals, I didn’t know anyone there. · And to top it off, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:16

Denomination: Baptist

The Room

Contributed by Fred Sigle on Jun 7, 2007

THE ROOM (I DO NOT KNOW THE AUTHOR) In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in ...read more

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Humpty Dumpty—continued

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 26, 2011

HUMPTY DUMPTY--CONTINUED We all remember the story of Humpty Dumpty that goes like this... Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King's horses and all the King's men Couldn't put Humpty together again. But did you know that there's more to the story? Not only ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 145:1-21

Tags: God's Love

I Read The Moving Story Entitled, "Dad's Glimpse ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

I READ THE MOVING STORY ENTITLED, "DAD’S GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN" BY EDNA HERSHBERGER WHICH SAID: “HIS LAST WORDS LEFT US WITH SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. AT 4:00 A.M. THE NURSE WOKE DAD TO GIVE HIM A BREATHING TREATMENT. "MR. HERSH, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?" "GOSHEN HOSPITAL," HE ANSWERED POLITELY ...read more

Tags: Heaven

Secure In My Pocket

Contributed by Larry Turner on Jul 28, 2014

My phone was secure. I had it shoved far down into my pants pocket. There was no way it could fall out; no way could I lose it. I denied it at the time but I saw the signs. They read “Please put any items that you do not want to lose in the bins or lockers before getting on the ride.” I chose to ...read more

Scripture: Mark 8:35

Tags: Dying To Self, False Confidence

Denomination: Foursquare

The Story Of Rick Warren And His Best-Selling ...  PRO

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Oct 20, 2008

The story of Rick Warren and his best-selling book the "The Purpose Driven Life." What is he doing with all the money? USA Today article: June 4th 2006 edition: A uniter, not a divider Warren is no liberal. He backed President Bush in the 2004 election and opposes abortion and stem cell ...read more

Tags: Giving Yourself

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Just Kissed Yesterday Goodbye

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 15, 2022

Focus is an essential part of getting something done. Sometimes my focus is more on yesterday than it is today. I waste a lot of time looking backward. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage often rebukes me because I look in the past. I talk more about yesterday than I do today. On the other ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 118:24

Tags: Blessing, Focus

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What A Crazy World We Live In

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 26, 2022

Driving home from an appointment across town, my wife and I encountered some crazy driver weaving in and out on the road in front of us. The fact that there was not an accident was somewhat surprising. “What,” The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage exclaimed, “is wrong with people?” Looking at ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Tags: Family, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

We Weren’t Expecting That

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 1, 2023

Sometimes things happen that you never expected. When those unexpected things happen, if they are good, that is a blessing, if they are bad, that’s a different story. I learned this expectation of good from my good old Uncle Ted. He was a truck driver, and boy, did he have the stories to ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 2:15

Tags: Expectation, Free Lunch

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Coolest Dad In The Universe  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001

THE COOLEST DAD IN THE UNIVERSE He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I didn’t know why he was home instead of Mom, but I was young and the only one of my friends who had their dad around. I considered myself very lucky. Dad did so many things ...read more

Tags: Father's Day, Parenting

My Thoughts Are Worth More Than A Penny

Contributed by James Snyder on May 30, 2020

Dr. James L. Snyder I must admit that I do gravel a lot in thinking about my thoughts. It has been a habit of mine down through the years. Thinking is what really makes life worth living, or so I believe. My father had a saying whenever he saw me staring off into the distance, “A penny for your ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 139:17

Tags: Thoughts, Thinking, Penny

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Red Isn’t Always The Red I See

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 2, 2021

It is not that I am colorblind; I just am color indifferent. Red and blue and yellow are all the same to me. This, on many occasions, has challenged the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, who is very meticulous when it comes to describing anything or anyone. In remodeling my office at the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 20:12

Tags: Christmas, Humor, Gifts

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Splish Splash, I Forgot To Take A Bath

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 8, 2022

If you had the opportunity to speak to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, she would probably tell you that one of my strengths is forgetting. I'm not sure how far into the subject she would get. When it comes to forgetting, I am outstanding on the back lawn, and my expertise in this area ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:2

Tags: Memory, Forgetting

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Laughter Is Not For Sissies

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 12, 2022

Since birth, I have been infected with a Laughter-Virus. I’m not sure which side of the family it came from, or it could’ve come from both sides. But the least little thing will make me laugh. Sometimes I have a hard time stopping laughing. I have yet to find a mask big enough to cover my face ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 126:2

Tags: Virus, Laughter

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

It Never Dawned On Me Until

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 20, 2022

I must confess I am too poor to pay attention at this time in my life. I hope one day I will win the lottery and be able to afford to pay attention. But, of course, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says that you can’t win a lottery unless you play the lottery. Well, I don’t play the lottery. ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Tags: Attention, Listening

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance