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In Sermon Illustrations: "Idiots" showing 21-40 of 73

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  • A Parrot Named Moses

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 14, 2021
     | 2,196 views

    A PARROT NAMED MOSES A thief broke into a beautiful suburban house and was looking around for things to steal when he heard a voice say, “Better be careful…Jesus is watching you!” He stopped for a moment and heard it again… The surprised thief froze in his tracks and looked around, shining the ...read more

  • Listen To What Shakespeare Has Macbeth Saying: ...  PRO

    Contributed by Martin Wiles on May 6, 2002
    based on 32 ratings
     | 3,356 views

    Listen to what Shakespeare has Macbeth saying: “Tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, Out, brief candle Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player ...read more

  • 1 John 3:20 Says Simply "He Knows Everything." ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,699 views

    1 John 3:20 says simply "He knows everything." Does that describe you? Do you know everything? I’ve known people that thought they did. ILLUS - It’s kind of like the little boy that asked his mom, he said "momma, how come the idiots only come out when daddy’s driving." And the answer is because ...read more

  • Arthur Miller, In A Play Entitled "After The ...

    Contributed by Jay Winters on Oct 16, 2006
     | 1,356 views

    Arthur Miller, in a play entitled “After the Fall,” describes how we might look at ourselves in this heart attack moment of Lent, when he describes coming home from war. “One day the house smells of fresh bread, the next of smoke and blood. One day you faint because the gardener cuts his finger ...read more

  • Deep Within A Forest A Little Turtle Began To ...  PRO

    Contributed by Edwin Amundson on Aug 9, 2002
    based on 7 ratings
     | 7,643 views

    Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a ...read more

  • The Iron

    Contributed by Darrell Campbell on Sep 4, 2018
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,347 views

    A man comes home while his wife is in the middle of ironing . He says to his wife, "Honey, I need to take a quick shower, but I am expecting an urgent call. Would you get it for me if they call?" The man proceeds to jump in the shower, and the phone rings and rings and rings. He jumps out the ...read more

  • In Act 5 Scene 5 Of Shakespeare's Macbeth, The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 26, 2002
     | 3,374 views

    In Act 5 scene 5 of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, the character Macbeth has heard that the queen is dead and he knows his own death is imminent. At this time he delivers his famous soliloquy: Tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded ...read more

  • A Man Went Into A Restaurant And Ordered 2 Full ...  PRO

    Contributed by Steve Malone on Jul 23, 2002
    based on 6 ratings
     | 1,964 views

    A man went into a restaurant and ordered 2 full meals, the waitress said, “You must be hungry” He said, “no one’s for my brother,” and he pulled out of his pocket this little guy about 5 inches tall. She said, “Is he real?” “Sure” “Can he walk?” He said, “Hey Jake go get me that ...read more

  • There Was A Manager Of A Minor League Baseball ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 26, 2002
    based on 4 ratings
     | 1,908 views

    There was a manager of a minor league baseball team who was so disgusted with his center fielder’s performance that he ordered him to the dugout and assumed the position himself. The first ball that came into center field took a bad hop and hit the manager in the mouth. The next one was a high fly ...read more

  • Male Bashing Ads Are Today's Men Incompetent, ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 27, 2006
     | 2,073 views

    Male Bashing Ads Are today’s men incompetent, bumbling idiots? Judging by portrayals in some advertising, the answer seems to be yes. The “man as a dope” imagery has gathered momentum over the last decade, and critics say that it has spiraled out of control. It is nearly impossible, they say, to ...read more

  • Col. Oliver North, "Col. Ollie" To Many Who Have ...

    Contributed by Bruce Ball on May 19, 2008
     | 1,076 views

    Col. Oliver North, "Col. Ollie" to many who have served under him, tells of a situation when we first went into Iraq. There were enemies shooting at each other from across a large field. That was a no-man’s land. And in the middle of that field was a very injured Iraqi man. A corpsman crawled ...read more

  • Jesus Took A Little Child In His Arms And Said, ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 17, 2002
     | 2,243 views

    Jesus took a little child in his arms and said, in effect, "Here is your ministry. Give yourself to those who can bring you no status or clout. Just help people. You need this little child. You need to help this little child, not just for her sake, but more for your sake. For if you don’t, ...read more

  • In Discipleship Journal, Don Mccullough Wrote: ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,880 views

    In Discipleship Journal, Don McCullough wrote: "John Killinger tells about the manager of a minor league baseball team who was so disgusted with his center fielder’s performance that he ordered him to the dugout and assumed the position himself. The first ball that came into center field took a bad ...read more

  • Sherlock Holmes And His Assistant Dr. Watson Are ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mary Lewis on Aug 3, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,105 views

    Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson are camping. After enjoying a day of relaxation, they pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson. "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce." Hoping to please his boss with ...read more

  • Center Field

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,291 views

    Center Field In Discipleship Journal, Don McCullough wrote: “John Killinger tells about the manager of a minor league baseball team who was so disgusted with his center fielder’s performance that he ordered him to the dugout and assumed the position himself. The first ball that came into center ...read more

  • Old Bible

    Contributed by John Bright on Jan 17, 2021
     | 2,148 views

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. "Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector. "Yes, that was it!" "You ...read more

  • Mad At Him Or Mad At You?

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Sep 23, 2008
     | 1,199 views

    Mad at Him or Mad at YOU? I remember a specific time a couple of years ago that someone just pulled out in front of me trying to turn left and get in the small space between my car and the next. Of course I was in a hurry as I was running late. And of course I had to brake and subsequently missed ...read more

  • Guten-Something...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Oct 22, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,524 views

    Guten-Something... A book collector ran into an unbookish acquaintance who soon revealed that old books didn't mean anything to him. In fact, he observed he had just thrown away a big old Bible which had been packed away in the attic of his ancestral home for generations. He was describing it ...read more

  • Two Wives Were Doing Their Washing In A Laundry ...

    Contributed by Dennis Selfridge on Sep 5, 2008
     | 2,172 views

    Two wives were doing their washing in a laundry mat. They were both sitting mend their husband’s pants. As they were sowing, the one lady said, "My husband is so discouraged, he is so cold. We can’t find anything good on TV. Nothing seems to go right for him. Every one at work picks on him and we ...read more

  • Bill Chadwick Tells The Story About The Lost Of ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 28, 2003
    based on 8 ratings
     | 901 views

    Bill Chadwick tells the story about the lost of his teenage son in a car accident: My most incredible rage was for the people who made the idiotic comments like...."God wanted him more", or "it’s not for us to know", or "everything happens for a reason", or "it was God’s will". People told me I ...read more

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