Contributed by Sermon Central on May 2, 2003
based on 4 ratings
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MY LABELING SYSTEM
I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals.
Forget calling them "Veal Parmigiana" or "Turkey Loaf" or "Beef Pot Pie."
If you look in my freezer you’ll see "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don’t Know," and, my favorite, "Food."
That way when I ask my husband what he
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Contributed by Lynn Floyd on Sep 22, 2003
based on 1 rating
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A doctor goes to a party one night and sees one of his patients out on the dance floor with a beautiful woman. The doctor goes up to his patient and asks, “What are you doing?” The patient responded, “I’m just following your advice!” “What advice?,” the doctor replied. “You told me to find a hot
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Baptist
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Jan 14, 2004
based on 2 ratings
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A new homeowner’s riding lawn mower had broken down, and he had been working fruitlessly for two hours trying to get it back together.
Suddenly, one of his neighbors appeared with a handful of tools.
“Can I give some help?” he asked.
In twenty minutes he had the mower functioning
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Pat Cook on May 16, 2005
based on 11 ratings
| 1,136 views
These two Grand Mananers took a ferry off the island and went deep into the woods on the mainland, searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one Grand Mananer turned to the other and said, "I’m chopping down the next tree I
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Baptist
Contributed by Gene Gregory on Jul 23, 2005
based on 2 ratings
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Some people do not have birth certificates. One such person was Will Rogers. Once, Will Rogers was applying for a passport and the clerk asked him for his birth certificate. He said that he didn’t have one. She said that she needed one in order to issue a passport. He asked why. She replied,
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
based on 9 ratings
| 2,994 views
A priest was taking a tour of biblical sites, when he came to a beach and saw a boat and a sign advertising,
"TAKE A BOAT RIDE TO THE EXACT PLACE WHERE JESUS WALKED ON WATER!!!"
Inquiring about it, he learned that the ride there was free, so he went.
After viewing it, he said to the captain
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
based on 14 ratings
| 2,927 views
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 15, 2005
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full. “Mump umn Kmpfhm,” was all I heard.
“Drew,” I scolded, “no one can understand a word you’re saying.”
“He says he wants some ketchup,” my husband said calmly.
A woman sitting nearby leaned over and
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I found a book called “Love Hunger” and I started reading it.They talked about how an empty heart will cause some people to over eat to fill it but the reality is they are overfilling the stomach – not dealing with the heart issue. I continued to read from this book and listen to some of the
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Aug 10, 2009
The phrase that helps remind me of not giving in to weariness (and we all get tired) is: Keeping on Keeping On.
Again this is not praying the same prayer in order to wear God down, it is being consistent, constant, and unwavering even when we don’t feel like it. I’m sure the widow wanted to give up
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Church Of God
There is a story told about a faithful old deacon whose oft repeated prayer expression was, "O Lord, touch the unsaved with Thy finger."
One prayer meeting night he was leading in prayer when as he intoned this petition, as he so often did, he abruptly stopped praying.
Supposing he had been
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Feb 6, 2010
The Boy Scout
A noted brain surgeon, Dr. Bronson Ray, was taking a stroll when he saw a boy on a scooter smash headfirst into a tree. Realizing that the boy was seriously injured, the doctor told a bystander to call an ambulance.
As he proceeded to administer first aid, a boy not much older than
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Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 15, 2010
Punxsutawney Phil is a groundhog that comes out of his burrow on Gobbler’s Knob, Pennsylvania, each February 2 to predict the weather. According to legend, if Phil sees his shadow, there will be 6 more weeks of cold weather. If he doesn’t see his shadow, spring will come early.
This is all humbug
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jul 6, 2010
ASK ME LATER
Clear-thinking people are often interesting people. One woman shares this story:
When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers.
"Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" asked the plaintiff's lawyer.
"Yes. I had an
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
based on 1 rating
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STATS ON FORGETFULNESS
I was relieved recently to find out that I’m not the only one who forgets things. According to researcher Karen Bolla, everyone does at one time or another.
These are the six things people most often forget:
• (6). faces 42%
• (5). what was said 49%
• (4). words 53%
• (3).
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Denomination:
Brethren
COME IN THROUGH THE DOOR
There's an old spiritual. I'm sure you've heard it. It starts out, 'So high you can't get over it, so low you can't get under it, so wide you can't get around it! You gotta come in through the door.'
That's what Jesus tells us in this passage from John's
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Tim Smith on Feb 19, 2012
TAKING THE GOOD PATH
The media interviewed the second Chilean miner freed, and here is what he said, "The time down there changed me. God had one hand and the devil had the other hand, and when I was down there, I decided to let go of the devil and hold onto God. I buried 40 years of my life down
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Methodist
Contributed by Lance Hostetter on Mar 12, 2013
based on 1 rating
| 2,771 views
a man bought a lawn mower from a boy at a yard sale and took it home. After many tries he could not get it to start and went back to the boy. "I thought you said it ran great" he told the boy. The boy said it does, but you have to cuss at it first! The man said, I can't cuss I'm an elder in my
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Christian/Church Of Christ
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