based on 7 ratings
| 3,163 views
Humor Illustration: CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!!
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Joel Vicente on Feb 14, 2005
based on 13 ratings
| 15,015 views
Illustrate Humor: WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me LOGIC: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why."
My mother taught me
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Robert Garrett on May 29, 2005
based on 14 ratings
| 2,772 views
“BUY ME OUT”
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
"I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," he said. "To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by John Braland on Apr 3, 2007
Here are some of the more humerous tombstone enscriptions found around the globe.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
• In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And
...read more
Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Mar 19, 2002
based on 28 ratings
| 1,985 views
There once was an oyster whose story I tell,
Who found that sand had got under his shell;
Just one little grain, but it gave him much pain,
For oysters have feelings although they’re so plain.
Now, did he berate the working of Fate
Which had led him to such a deplorable state?
Did he curse
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Sep 25, 2002
based on 31 ratings
| 2,462 views
A poem - “You see God” (From twentieth Century Christian) You see God it is like this: We could attend church more faithfully if your day came at some other time. You have chosen a day that comes at the end of a hard week, and we’re all tired out. No only that, but it’s the day following
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
United Methodist
Contributed by Jeremy Houck on Feb 26, 2005
based on 16 ratings
| 3,357 views
Dr. Albert Palmer was the minister of Central Union Church of Honolulu, Hawaii. While serving there he oversaw a massive building project for their church. Just before it’s completion, the architect asked Palmer to provide him with an inscription to be placed high in the chancel above the pulpit
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 2 ratings
| 2,714 views
Jesus is the Truth that sets us free, and that freedom comes through knowing Him personally in a one-on-one relationship. There is a tremendous difference in knowing about a person and knowing that person. I know about President Bush and Prince Charles, but I do not have a personal relationship
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 1,669 views
A man in Spokane (Mr. Russell) had arranged for the minister from Fourth Memorial church to have his wedding. The day came and the minister didn’t. The minister sent a replacement. The man was upset, and never forgot the incident. 30 years later Carolyn had a garage sale. My mother was there
...read more
Tags:
WHAT IS A MOM?
What is a mom? Is she the one that gave birth to your life? Is she one who raised you with the warm embrace of her arms? Is she the woman who gives the all of life, so that yours could be prosperous and long? Many mothers are probably all theses, and many things more.
Moms are
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Hal Seed on Jul 27, 2007
Miles away in another arena, scores of fire and policemen were becoming voluntary heroes in an effort to save people inside the World Trade Center buildings. Twelve firemen were lost from the Park Slope fire station in Brooklyn. One of them was named David Fontana, a 10 year veteran of the
...read more
Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Peter Loughman on Apr 29, 2008
STILL HAS IT AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS
Years ago, I had this wonderful man in my congregation who looked exactly like, no kidding, Marlon Brando. Mitch was this huge man who had a heart of gold. He had lost his wife to cancer years earlier, but had fallen in love with Louise, a sweet woman just a few
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Oct 27, 2008
The St. Bartholomew’s Day massacre … was a wave of Roman Catholic mob violence against the Huguenots (French Calvinist Protestants), during the French Wars of Religion. Traditionally believed to have been instigated by Catherine de’ Medici, the mother of King Charles IX, the massacre took place six
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 3,297 views
There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the
...read more
Tags:
Contributed by Thomas Cash on Jan 13, 2005
After 25 years of an arranged marriage, listen to Tevya’s question to Golde in the musical Fiddler on the Roof:
(Tevye) “Golde, I have decided to give Perchik permission to become engaged to our daughter, Hodel.”
(Golde) “What??? He’s poor! He has nothing, absolutely nothing!”
(Tevye) “He’s a
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 19, 2001
based on 155 ratings
| 5,342 views
Gen. Douglas MacArthur wrote this prayer for his son. He prayed: "Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, & brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. One who will be proud & unbending in honest defeat, & humble & gentle in victory.
"Build me a son
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by David Parks on Jan 30, 2003
based on 27 ratings
| 7,878 views
A PERFECT PREACHER
After hundreds of years, a model preacher has been found to suit everyone. He preaches exactly 20 minutes and then sits down. He condemns sin but never hurts anyone.
He works from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. In every type of work from preaching to custodial service. He makes $60.00 a
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Danny Thomas on Jun 5, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 2,369 views
Build Me a Son by General Douglas A. MacArthur
Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
and brave enough to face him self when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Oct 19, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 2,149 views
Did you see the move Shallow Hal? It is a movie about an unattractive, really shallow middle-aged man named Hal Larsen who judges women on how “hot” they are. But then one day, Hal gets stuck on a stalled elevator with a motivational guru who helps him overcome his shallowness by hypnotizing him
...read more
Tags:
Denomination:
Methodist
Sermon Central