Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 15, 2011
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN...
• You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
• You watch the Weather Channel.
• You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
• You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
• When you say something to your
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Independent/Bible
based on 1 rating
| 1,907 views
I heard a story the other day about a guy who died and stood before the gates of heaven. An angel met him and said, “We have a new plan for getting into heaven. We’re now using a point system and you need 1,000 to enter.” The man told the angel that this would be no problem as he started rattling
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Andrew Moffatt on Oct 18, 2025
I’d like to introduce you to another great Daniel. Now this man is remembered as a great, a great in his sport and a great in New Zealand. Here he is playing in the jersey of the Worlds most successful rugby franchise, consistently the best team in New Zealand also. You can all appreciate just how
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Salvation Army
Grandpa was way up in years before he ever had the opportunity to go to an airport. He also had never seen an escalator in his life. He stood in amazement watching the escalator go up and down for the longest tme. Then, just as he was about to leave, he saw a whole bus-load of ladies from the
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Donald Smith on Apr 23, 2003
based on 9 ratings
| 3,783 views
A mother wakes up her son one morning and says, “Honey, it’s time to get ready for church.” The son replies, “But mom, I don’t want to go to church today!” The mother persisted, “But you have to go to church!” The son again responded, “I don’t want to go to church mom!” The mother said…, “You
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Methodist
Contributed by Mark Umbehagen on Aug 23, 2001
based on 263 ratings
| 3,399 views
A husband and his wife woke up one Sunday morning and the wife dressed for church.
It was just about time for the service when she noticed her husband hadn’t moved a finger toward getting dressed.
Perplexed, she asked, “Why aren’t you getting dressed for church?”
He said, “Cause I don’t want to
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Baptist
based on 12 ratings
| 7,925 views
Dr. Billy Graham tells the story of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter in those days, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, "If you will come to church
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 25, 2008
based on 4 ratings
| 1,706 views
Man desiring to learn how to play golf stood up to tee off,was near sighted. Thought an ant mound was to hold the ball.Placed it on top and began to swing. He cut the ground up before and behind and all around the ball. He destroyed the ant mound and all the ants in it except two. One ant looked to
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Contributed by Scott Epperson on Oct 30, 2006
I have heard stories from the elders that grew up during the “Great Depression” of how they would work all day and never get a chance to play like most kids for the simple reason of survival for themselves and their family. You would ask them but elder when did you get a chance to be a child? They
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Scott Epperson on Oct 30, 2006
I have heard stories from the elders that grew up during the “Great Depression” of how they would work all day and never get a chance to play like most kids for the simple reason of survival for themselves and their family. You would ask them but elder when did you get a chance to be a child? They
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
based on 3 ratings
| 1,383 views
One of my favorite radio programs, when I get the chance to listen to it, is the Prairie Home Companion, In one episode Garrison Keillor tells the fanciful tale of John Tollefson. John leaves Minnesota, moves to New York, and makes a life for himself far from Lake Wobegon. One day John Tollefson
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Baptist
Contributed by James Jack on Jun 9, 2007
based on 10 ratings
| 3,100 views
The word “fool” doesn’t get as much use now as it once did. If one of my mates does something profoundly stupid I don’t usually cry out “you fool”. I might say “you are such an idiot” or “what a goose”. I’m sure many people you know would use much more colourful language than that. Fool is one of
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Anglican
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 4, 2001
based on 87 ratings
| 1,007 views
Deion Sanders grew up on the mean streets of Fort Myers, Fla., where exposure to some would-be athletes spurred him to make a success of himself He explains: "I call them Idas. ’If I’da done this, I’d be making three million today. If I’da practiced a little harder, I’d be a superstar.’ They were
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