Sermon Central
-
A Man Fell Into A Pit And Couldn't Get Himself ...
Contributed by Tony Abram on May 19, 2010 (message contributor)
A man fell into a pit and couldn’t get himself out.
A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said: "I FEEL for you, down there."
An OBJECTIVE person came along and said:
"It’s logical that someone would fall, down there."
A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came along:
"You only THINK that you are in a pit."
A PHARISEE said:
"Only BAD people fall into a pit."
A MATHEMATICIAN
calculated HOW he fell into the pit.
A NEWS REPORTER
wanted the exclusive story on his pit.
CONFUCIUS said;
"If you would have listened to me, you would not be in that pit."
BUDDHA said:
"Your pit is only a state of mind."
A REALIST said:
"That’s a PIT."
A SCIENTIST
calculated the pressure necessary (lbs./sq.in.) to get him out of the pit.
A GEOLOGIST
told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.
AN EVOLUTIONIST said:
"You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle." In other words, he is going to DIE in the pit, so that he cannot produce any "pit-falling offspring."
The COUNTY INSPECTOR asked if he had a permit to dig a pit.
A PROFESSOR gave him a lecture on: "The Elementary Principles of the Pit."
An EVASIVE person came along and avoided the subject of his pit altogether
A SELF-PITYING person said:
"You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen MY PIT!!"
An OPTIMIST said:
"Things COULD be worse."
A PESSIMIST said:
"Things WILL get worse!!"
JESUS, seeing the man, took him by the hand and LIFTED HIM OUT of the pit.
Related Sermon Illustrations
-
The Command Came, "On Your Mark, Get Set," And ... PRO
Contributed by Tim Richards on Dec 1, 2004
The command came, "On your mark, get set," and then the pistol cracked and the race was on. A fine athlete sprang to the lead, and when the race was over he had broke the state record. Only a few other runners even finished the race. Many dropped out when they saw they could not win. As the field ...read more
-
I Mentioned Brian Mclaren's Book "A Generous ... PRO
Contributed by Mike Wilkins on Feb 21, 2005
I mentioned Brian McLaren’s book “A Generous Orthodoxy” last week. The chapter after “Would Jesus Be a Christian” is titled, “Jesus, Savior of What?” In this chapter he argues that while Jesus did come to save us as individuals, we in the west have placed such a strong emphasis on personal ...read more
-
Over The Long Run, Love's Power To Forgive Is ... PRO
Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Dec 1, 2004
"Over the long run, love’s power to forgive is stronger than hate’s power to ...read more
-
Mrs.baughman Was My 6th Grade Sunday School ... PRO
Contributed by Patrick Wooten on Jan 18, 2005
Mrs.Baughman was my 6th grade Sunday School teacher. One morning, she brought a pan of brownies to our class. As the goodies sat over by her chair, she gave each child a slip of paper marked with a household expense: house payment, utility bill, phone bill, entertainment, etc. My slip had ...read more
-
In The Early 60's, Vince Lombardi, Just After ... PRO
Contributed by Todd Stiles on Jan 18, 2007
In the early 60’s, Vince Lombardi, just after losing a Superbowl and on the eve of a new season, rallied his team in the locker room one day and mounted the bench for a speech. He reviewed last year’s loss, then began to talk about the plans for a return trip to he great game and how they would ...read more
Related Sermons
-
Is Physical Healing/Deliverance Guaranteed/Provided For In The Atonement?
Contributed by Dr. Craig Nelson on Nov 14, 2017
A detailed look at the Atonement in relation to physical healing.
-
When God Restores: Steps To Recovery & Restoration In God
Contributed by Jeremiah Menyongai on Mar 10, 2020
As believers, our hope ultimately rests in the promise that Christ will come back for us one day and make all things new. But what about the here & now? The Bible is full of examples of how God makes things new for His glory & our good.
-
The Prodigal Son's Brother
Contributed by Sean Harder on Jul 6, 2012
Chapter 15 of Luke is the start of a new discussion as Jesus makes his way into Jerusalem to fulfill his ultimate sacrificial mission. It begins with the Scribes and Pharisees grumbling because Jesus always allowed sinners to listen to him and eat with hi
-
The Power Of Forgiveness
Contributed by Bishop Prof. Julius Soyinka on Oct 30, 2021
God forgives us our sins, and He commands us to always forgive those that offend us in any way of the other. When we do, we have a lot of blessings to enjoy.
-
Restoring The Backslider Series
Contributed by Eric Hanson on May 19, 2008
Here is a clear plan of action to help people get right with God and continue to walk with Him after having gotten off track.
