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In Sermon Illustrations: "funny"

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  • Is It Time For You, O Ye, To Dwell In Your ...

    Contributed by David Moore on May 30, 2008
     | 1,345 views

    1. “Is it time for you, O ye, to dwell in your cieled houses, and this house lie waste?” Isn’t is funny how we always have reasons why we cannot serve God, but we always find the time and the money to serve ourselves? Someone put it this way: • Isn’t it strange how a 20 pound note seems like such ...read more

  • Put God First And Give Him What Is ...

    Contributed by Ovidiu Radulescu on Jan 12, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,586 views

    Put God first and give Him what is His! “Now about the collection for God’s people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have ...read more

  • God Gives A Warning, A Serious Warning. Wise And ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Jun 19, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,398 views

    God gives a warning, a serious warning. Wise and sensitive souls respond quickly to the warning. Others do not. Charles Swindoll said he and his wife Cynthia were flying from Portland to Los Angeles after a pastors’ conference. After the flight reached cruising altitude, meals were being ...read more

  • Marriage License: A Learner's Permit  PRO

    Contributed by Jim Erwin on Dec 12, 2007
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,386 views

    Marriage License: A Learner’s Permit It’s a wise groom who has to be dragged to the altar. He knows what love is. It’s death. If lovers don’t know this, they are headed for trouble. Never will you have your way again. You can’t be happy if this other person isn’t. No matter who wins the argument, ...read more

  • Hilarious Marriage Joke To Share!!!!!!

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 8, 2024
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,221 views

    There’s a very funny story going around like a virus about a man who went to his doctor after weeks of serious symptoms. The doctor examined him carefully, then called the patient’s wife into his office. The doctor told her, "Your husband is suffering from a rare form of anemia. The bad ...read more

  • Listen, Son: I Am Saying This As You Lie Asleep, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001
    based on 8 ratings
     | 2,050 views

    Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I ...read more

  • Restroom Use Policy  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 28, 2002
    based on 9 ratings
     | 1,902 views

    FROM: YS OPERATIONS SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee’s restroom time and ...read more

  • Dead In Unrighteousness  PRO

    Contributed by Clark Tanner on Oct 18, 2002
    based on 3 ratings
     | 9,135 views

    DEAD IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS Several years ago a movie came out called “Death Becomes Her”. I don’t recommend it. It was dark humor at best, but the few funny parts weren’t worth the cost of the movie rental; much less, a theatre ticket. But the basic premise of the movie turns out to be a great ...read more

  • The Creation  PRO

    Contributed by Jonathan Busch on Feb 16, 2003
    based on 83 ratings
     | 6,338 views

    The Creation God created the mule and told him: "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you will lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered: "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, ...read more

  • Hare Products  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 16, 2003
    based on 25 ratings
     | 4,283 views

    HARE PRODUCTS A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, ...read more

  • Believe It Or Not, The Following Announcements ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
    based on 17 ratings
     | 2,710 views

    Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. 1. Don’t let worry kill you -- let the church help. 2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 4. ...read more

  • Too Big For God

    Contributed by Scott Epperson on Jan 1, 2007
     | 1,955 views

    TO BIG FOR GOD Remember when you first came to God compelled by the Holy Ghost you were found in sin and conceived by grace and mercy. Remember your first breath of the life everything look so much brighter and you had hope and faith in nothing else but in Christ. I remember the feeling of the ...read more

  • We Can Love Him With Our Mind By Reading All The ...

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Dec 4, 2009
     | 1,823 views

    We can love him with our mind by reading all the great things he has done for us, we can have warm loving feelings toward him because of these things, but may I suggest that this is where many Christians are stuck. The part that is lacking is an experience of Him that makes the thoughts and ...read more

  • 14 Years Ago Florida State’s Sports ...

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Feb 16, 2010
     | 1,907 views

    . 14 years ago Florida State’s sports information department had big news for Clay Shiver last year: Playboy magazine had selected him for its preseason All-America football team. But quicker than he snaps the ball, the 6-foot2, 280-pound center said, “No thanks.” he went on to say, “My mind was ...read more

  • Did You Know That The United States Once Had A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,569 views

    Did you know that the United States once had a king? Actually, he wasn’t a king—he was an emperor. During the gold-rush days of the 1800s in San Francisco, a man named Joshua A. Norton lost everything he had in market speculation. When that happened, something happened to his mind. He declared ...read more

  • I Read A Story This Past Week About A Woman Who, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Keith Broyles on Oct 4, 2007
    based on 4 ratings
     | 1,885 views

    I read a story this past week about a woman who, in early December had stopped at a grocery store to pick up a few things on her lunch break. One of them was a cinnamon-scented air freshener. She had smelled a candle with the same scent in the store but wanted to know exactly what the air ...read more

  • Let's Find The World Of Dangerous Wonder. It's A ...

    Contributed by Jerry Mckee on Dec 12, 2007
     | 1,432 views

    Let’s find the world of dangerous wonder. It’s a real place, you know. It is the place where children and grownups can find God, located just beyond where the sidewalk ends. The directions just might be found in your church, your Bible, or even a friendship. Dull people and dream stealers are not ...read more

  • In The Bible We Read This: "Let Us Thank God For ...

    Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Dec 19, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,157 views

    In the Bible we read this: “Let us thank God for his priceless gift” (2 Cor 9:15). Imagine for a moment being invited to a really special birthday party. Perhaps it’s your Head teacher’s birthday, but we won’t ask him how many years he will be celebrating for his next birthday, will we! Or perhaps ...read more

  • When The Wine Runs Out  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 22, 2003
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,707 views

    WHEN THE WINE RUNS OUT When the wine runs out, do whatever Jesus tells you to do. Have faith in his word. John 2 says the servants not only poured water in those pots, but they filled them to the brim. When Jesus told them to fill the pots with water, it was as if to say "I can work with that." If ...read more

  • A Little Girl Asked Her Mother One Sunday ...

    Contributed by Andrew Drummond on Feb 3, 2007
     | 2,469 views

    A little girl asked her mother one Sunday morning as she was preparing lunch, “Mommy, why do you cut off the ends of the ham before you cook it?” The girl’s mother turned and looked at her and said, “Oh, sweetie, I’m not really sure why, but I suppose you cut the ends off of the meat so that the ...read more