-
Hilarious Marriage Joke To Share!!!!!!
Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 8, 2024 (message contributor)
There’s a very funny story going around like a virus about a man who went to his doctor after weeks of serious symptoms.
The doctor examined him carefully, then called the patient’s wife into his office. The doctor told her, "Your husband is suffering from a rare form of anemia. The bad news is that, without treatment, your husband will be dead in just a few weeks. The good news is that, with proper nutrition, he should get better."
Here’s what the doctor then told her to do. "You will need to get up early every morning and fix your husband a hot breakfast - pancakes, bacon and eggs, the works. He’ll need a home-cooked lunch every day, and then an old-fashioned meat-and-potato dinner every evening.
It would be especially helpful if you could bake frequently. Cakes, pies, homemade bread - these are the things that will allow your husband to live."
"One more thing. His immune system is weak, so it’s important that your home be kept spotless at all times.
Last but not least, it would also help if you are intimate with your husband several times a week."
So, the wife walks into the examination room with a very sad look on her face. The husband, sensing how serious this appeared to be, asked her, "It’s bad, isn’t it, sweetheart? Tell me the truth, what’s going to happen to me?"
With tears welling up in her eyes, the wife blurted out, 'HONEY, THE DOCTOR SAYS YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!"
- Unknown
Related Sermon Illustrations
-
Spurgeon (1) Wrote, " I Think I May Say To Every ... PRO
Contributed by Michael Raisbeck on Jul 18, 2003
Spurgeon (1) wrote, " I think I may say to every person whom I am addressing,-If you are yourself saved, the work is but half done until you are employed to bring others to Christ. You are as yet but half formed in the image of your Lord. You have not attained to the full development of the ...read more
-
Where's The Faith? PRO
Contributed by Karl Eckhoff on Nov 13, 2003
Blow the trump and ring the bell; Dress it up and make it sell; Fill it with the rich and well; And count the heads. We’re doing well! But where’s the faith? Read the creed and get it right; Hold it fast with all your might; Close the door and bolt it tight; We’ve no need for ...read more
-
Martin Luther Once Had A Dream Where He Was In ... PRO
Contributed by Timothy Smith on Jan 29, 2005
Martin Luther once had a dream where he was in his house and saw Jesus coming up the walk toward his door. Luther examined his surrounding and realized that everything was an absolute mess. Clothes were thrown over the furniture, old food was sitting out, trash was everywhere. And he thought, "How ...read more
-
Experts Say That 3 People Die Every Second. If ... PRO
Contributed by Joseph Marshall on Aug 25, 2002
Experts say that 3 people die every second. If this fact is true, then 180 people die every minute, 10,800 people die every hour, 259,200 people die every day, and 94,608,000 people die every year. Of the six billion people on earth today, experts also sayt that 2/3 of them have never heard the ...read more
-
The Little Boy And The Circus PRO
Contributed by Ely Lambert on Aug 26, 2002
The Little Boy and the Circus A little boy who lived far out in the country in the late 1800s had reached the age of twelve and had never in all his life seen a circus. You can imagine his excitement, when one day a poster went up at school announcing that on the next Saturday a traveling circus ...read more
Related Sermons
-
Doors: Open Or Closed
Contributed by Barry O Johnson on Aug 24, 2017
The majority of the body of Christ believes that God opens doors (a "yes" answer to prayer) and closes doors (a "no" answer to prayer) in their lives. Does scripture support such a belief?
-
Funeral For A Tragic Death
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Mar 14, 2016
A Memorial Service I spoke at for a young man who died tragically at the age of 21
-
Enfrentando La Muerte
Contributed by John Cuentas on Aug 13, 2011
Un mensaje que afirma nustra seguridad de que El que muere en Cristo pasa a estar con Cristo
-
The Death Of Fear Series
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Apr 5, 2015
When I was 5 my grandfather died. As I stood by the graveside at the cemetery, my mother said I looked down into the grave and then turned to her and asked "How's Grandpa ever going to get out of there?"
-
We Would See Jesus Series
Contributed by Dennis Davidson on Apr 22, 2014
Having heard & observed, these Gentiles were attracted or drawn to Jesus & they wanted to believe in Him, they wanted to "know" Him. Jesus therefore challenges them & us - to die that we might live