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In Sermon Illustrations: "Funny Questions"

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  • What Are You Prepared To Do?

    Contributed by Mark Schaeufele on Apr 24, 2010
     | 2,137 views

    WHAT ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO? In the movie The Untouchables, Eliot Ness, played by Kevin Costner, is frustrated because he cannot bring down Al Capone. So he asks for a street wise Irish beat cop, played by Sean Connery, for his help. The Irish cop agrees under one condition. He said always be ...read more

  • Old-School Church Discipline

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 23, 2010
     | 4,635 views

    OLD-SCHOOL CHURCH DISCIPLINE The Amish practice shunning – ignoring, turning away from, avoiding. When a person is disciplined by the community, relationships are severed between parents and children, or brother and sister, or even husbands and wives. Because the Amish are so isolated from those ...read more

  • A Special Visitor

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 29, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,828 views

    A SPECIAL VISITOR This past Tuesday, it was difficult to drive in and out of our church parking lot because of a barrage of traffic down Webster Street. Where did this traffic come from? Downtown was blocked off because President Obama and Vice-President Biden were speaking at a closed meeting a ...read more

  • Only Name In Heaven Is "Christian"

    Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Dec 12, 2010
     | 1,875 views

    ONLY NAME IN HEAVEN IS "CHRISTIAN" John Wesley once dreamed that he was at the gates of hell. He knocked and asked, "Are there any Roman Catholics here?" "Yes, many," was the reply. "Any Church of England men?" "Yes, many." "Any Presbyterians?" "Yes, many." "Any Wesleyans here?" ...read more

  • He Didn't Ask

    Contributed by Christian Cheong on Jul 21, 2011
     | 2,139 views

    HE DIDN'T ASK A man works as a signalman by the sea, giving important signals to the ships as they move into the narrow harbour. On one stormy night, a ship crashed because they couldn't see his signals. He was taken to court because they wanted how the accident happened. The judge asked, "Were ...read more

  • Aging: One Plus One  PRO

    Contributed by Josh Hunt on Feb 29, 2012
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,215 views

    AGING: ONE PLUS ONE Three old men went to the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first old man, "What is one plus one?" "Two hundred seventy-four," he said. The doctor asked the same question of the second man, "What is one plus one?" "Tuesday," he said. The doctor tried the third ...read more

  • Baptism Long Ago

    Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Apr 23, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,514 views

    BAPTISM LONG AGO Centuries ago the circumstances of one's baptism would come on Easter eve at midnight. In the semidarkness, he or she would disrobe and descend into the waters to be immersed three times, in the name of the Father, then the Son, and finally the Holy Spirit. The newly baptized ...read more

  • Silent Cal

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 7, 2012
     | 4,379 views

    "SILENT CAL" President Calvin Coolidge was a man of few words, and the words he spoke were often blunt. A female journalist once told him, "Mr. President I made a $100 bet with another journalist that I could get you to say more than three words. Would you care to comment?" Calvin Coolidge smiled ...read more

  • Steering Your Ship In A Storm

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 7, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 7,120 views

    STEERING YOUR SHIP IN A STORM An old seaman once said, "During the fiercest storms the only way a ship can survive is to keep its nose pointed straight into the wind. If you try to turn to the left or the right, the ship may capsize. If you try to run from the wind, the waves can surge over the ...read more

  • When To Let Your Light ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 6, 2012
     | 7,454 views

    WHEN TO LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE A young man who had heard the Gospel accepted Christ. A little while after this, a Christian teacher asked him: "What have you done for Christ since you believed?" He replied: "Oh, I’m a learner." "Well," said the questioner, "when you light a candle do you light it ...read more

  • Lucille Ball On What's Wrong With Families

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 29, 2012
     | 4,834 views

    LUCILLE BALL ON WHAT’S WRONG WITH FAMILIES Lucille Ball, shortly before her death, did a remarkable TV interview with Merv Griffin. He asked her a very serious and pointed question: "Lucille, you’ve lived a long time on this earth and you are a wise person. What’s happened to our country? What’s ...read more

  • Why Say No When Everybody Else Is Saying ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 9, 2012
     | 4,552 views

    WHY SAY NO WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE IS SAYING YES? Writing in the aftermath of World War II, Elton Trueblood looked back to those few brave German Christians who had the courage to oppose Adolph Hitler. When so many others went along or simply kept silent, a few, a courageous handful, would not go along ...read more

  • How Big Is Jesus??????

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 16, 2014
     | 4,814 views

    HOW BIG IS JESUS???????? At the end of a worship service, a little girl came up to her Pastor and asked, "How big is Jesus?" The puzzled pastor pondered and said, "I don’t know, sweetheart. The Bible doesn’t say. He was a carpenter, so I am sure he had big hands and strong shoulders. Maybe ...read more

  • The Real Story Of Unequally Yoked.  PRO

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Jan 31, 2015
    based on 2 ratings
     | 6,714 views

    David Slagle, a minister at a small church in Atlanta, tells the story of a woman in her late 20’s. The woman had befriended a man living in her apartment complex. Slagle and his wife asked whether the two were dating. The man in question was a known atheist. The young woman answered, “No, I’m ...read more

  • You Need Revival When.....

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 30, 2020
     | 2,839 views

    1. You are entertained by things that once grieved you. 2. You are silent where you once spoke. 3. Your prayer closet has cobwebs and your Bible is dusty. 4. You have ceased to grieve over your own sin. 5. You have stopped sharing your faith. 6. You are more excited about your personal agenda ...read more

  • Hours Behind The Runner In Front Of Him, The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Joo-Ching Chng on Jan 4, 2008
    based on 6 ratings
     | 3,300 views

    "Hours behind the runner in front of him, the last marathoner finally entered the Olympic stadium. By that time, the drama of the day’s events was almost over and most of the spectators had gone home. This athlete’s story, however, was still being played out. Limping into the arena, the ...read more

  • The Whole Concept Of Aiming Has Also Become A ...

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Feb 18, 2008
     | 960 views

    The whole concept of aiming has also become a metaphor for at least a multi-million dollar business about life and business goals and plans. People and companies pay big bucks for help in answering questions such as, ‘What are you aiming at?’ ‘What will give us the most bang for the buck?’ Slogans ...read more

  • Every Profession Has Its Favorite Stories, And ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 3, 2008
     | 1,302 views

    Every profession has its favorite stories, and the legal profession is no exception. A beginner attorney was defending a man accused of biting another man’s ear off during a barroom brawl. A witness to the fight was on the stand, and the young attorney was cross-examining him: “Did you actually ...read more

  • Sometimes A Thing Has To Be Repeated Until We ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Apr 10, 2008
     | 1,216 views

    Sometimes a thing has to be repeated until we hear and understand.A man asked his physician what to do about his wife’s hearing, which he felt was deteriorating. The doctor suggested a little test, which the man applied. He went home and found his wife working at the kitchen sink. Just inside the ...read more

  • There Was A Lad Who Lived In The Area Where An ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Apr 28, 2008
     | 1,738 views

    There was a lad who lived in the area where an old and wise sage would offer people counsel for their lives. He always knew the right answer, and those who listened to his counsel profited in their lives. In the village was a lad who thought he could trick the sage into giving a wrong answer. He ...read more