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In Sermon Illustrations: "FUNNY QUESTIONS"

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  • Stealing His Glory

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,934 views

    STEALING HIS GLORY Recently, we heard about what happened in the capital in Washington State. OLYMPIA, Wash. -- An atheist group unveiled an anti-religion placard/sign in the state Capitol, joining a Christian Nativity scene and "holiday tree" on display during December. The atheists' sign was ...read more

  • Christmas Signs  PRO

    Contributed by Charles Wilkerson on Dec 8, 2003
    based on 7 ratings
     | 4,858 views

    CHRISTMAS SIGNS - From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." - In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas." - Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." - From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd." - In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. ...read more

  • Which Way?  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 2, 2004
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,230 views

    WHICH WAY? In a recent NCAA cross-country championship held in Riverside, California, 123 of the 128 runners missed a turn. One competitor, Mike Delcavo, stayed on the 10,000 meter course and began waving for fellow runners to follow him. Delcavo was able to convince only four other runners to go ...read more

  • I Was In Wal Mart The Other Day And I Saw This ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,551 views

    I was in Wal Mart the other day and I saw this girl that had a shirt on that said, "Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful-- Okay, just hate me." I sorta chuckled and my little brother looked at me and said, "What’s so funny about that?" ANd I said, "Well, She sure does not need to be wearing that ...read more

  • The Story Of Lawyer And A Doctor  PRO

    Contributed by James O. Davis on Dec 5, 2001
    based on 7 ratings
     | 3,755 views

    The Story of Lawyer and a Doctor Recently, in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyer’s Journal there were various list of questions that lawyers have been known to ask in court. Here is such series of questions: Question: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a ...read more

  • Restroom Use Policy  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 28, 2002
    based on 9 ratings
     | 1,902 views

    FROM: YS OPERATIONS SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee’s restroom time and ...read more

  • Too Big For God

    Contributed by Scott Epperson on Jan 1, 2007
     | 1,955 views

    TO BIG FOR GOD Remember when you first came to God compelled by the Holy Ghost you were found in sin and conceived by grace and mercy. Remember your first breath of the life everything look so much brighter and you had hope and faith in nothing else but in Christ. I remember the feeling of the ...read more

  • We Can Love Him With Our Mind By Reading All The ...

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Dec 4, 2009
     | 1,823 views

    We can love him with our mind by reading all the great things he has done for us, we can have warm loving feelings toward him because of these things, but may I suggest that this is where many Christians are stuck. The part that is lacking is an experience of Him that makes the thoughts and ...read more

  • We Live In A Strange Community, Where It Is Not ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Wallace on Sep 1, 2001
    based on 164 ratings
     | 5,030 views

    We live in a strange community, where it is not uncommon to see bumper stickers that say things like, I am Light, or Due to circumstances within our control Armageddon has been cancelled. But the one that really gets me is the one that reads simply, I AM. Thank God, the I AM doesn’t drive a VW ...read more

  • Christmas Signs  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 10, 2002
    based on 16 ratings
     | 10,475 views

    CHRISTMAS SIGNS - From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." - In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas." - Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." - From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd." - In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. ...read more

  • Before Performing A Baptism, The Pastor ...

    Contributed by Scott Jensen on Oct 8, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,546 views

    Before performing a baptism, the pastor approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests." "I ...read more

  • Sports Widow Gets Even

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 22, 2025
     | 121 views

    "'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.  As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my ...read more

  • Trying To Win Their Case Some Lawyers Have Been ...  PRO

    Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Jan 27, 2004
    based on 19 ratings
     | 3,073 views

    Trying to win their case some lawyers have been known to ask some incredibly unbelievable questions. The Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyer’s Journal gave the following example: Question: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Answer: No. Question: Did you check for ...read more

  • How Many Of You Remember The Carole King Song, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Brian La Croix on May 15, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,051 views

    How many of you remember the Carole King song, You’ve Got a Friend? You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I’ll come runnin’, to see you again. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, all you got to do is call, and I’ll be there, yes I will. You’ve got a friend. The idea of the song is ...read more

  • I'm Sort Of Surprised About The Timetable For ...

    Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Feb 22, 2009
     | 2,004 views

    I’m sort of surprised about the timetable for Philip’s journey. God commands him to get up and depart about noon. It reminds me of Robbie O’ Connell, an Irish musician who lives in the U.S., when he went back to Ireland to chase down some authentic folk songs that hadn’t yet been recorded. Since ...read more

  • A Missionary To Japan Told A Story Of When He Was ...

    Contributed by Jay Winters on Dec 27, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,148 views

    A missionary to Japan told a story of when he was riding a train one late night across town. Everyone was being fairly dignified, but then a drunk man came on board. His face was red and he was looking for a fight. He was catcalling women and trying to provoke men to fight him. Nobody responded ...read more

  • When Rembrandt’s Famous Painting, The Night ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jim Butcher on Dec 28, 2000
    based on 123 ratings
     | 4,602 views

    When Rembrandt’s famous painting, The Night Watch, was restored and returned to Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum, the curators performed a simple, yet remarkable experiment. They asked visitors to submit questions about the painting. The curators then prepared answers to over 50 questions, ranking the ...read more

  • The Story Of Lawyer And A Doctor  PRO

    Contributed by Kelly Fellows on Dec 7, 2007
    based on 14 ratings
     | 5,182 views

    The Story of Lawyer and a Doctor A doctor was being sued for malpractice – the new lawyer on the case was anxious to win his case Question: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Answer: No. Question: Did you check for blood pressure? Answer: No. Question: Did you ...read more

  • When I Was Teaching Middle School, I Faced A ...

    Contributed by Terry Barnhill on May 9, 2009
     | 1,387 views

    When I was teaching Middle School, I faced a problem that’s common to all teachers. I’d be giving instructions to the class, and while I was talking, one or two hands would flip up into the air. They had a question. I wasn’t finished giving the instructions, and already they had questions. My ...read more

  • Two Men Were Walking Along Discussing God, ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Oct 15, 2007
     | 1,298 views

    Two men were walking along discussing God, eternity, and judgment. One of them stops and says, “You know, there is a question I’d like to ask God.” “What question?” his friend responds. “How could you let all the evil and despair and injustice occur in this world?” “Yeah, it doesn’t make sense!” ...read more