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These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the
world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers
*Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They
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Denomination:
Baptist
Mom-isms from Biblical moms:
a. There has been some commonality through the years when it comes to motherhood let’s look at just a few Bible mom’s and imagine what they had to deal with and how they handled raising their children.
ILL Notebook: Mother (Great Sayings of Biblical Mothers). In fact,
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by C Jordan on May 23, 2010
KNOCKING PEOPLE DOWN
Coach Shug Jordan at Auburn University asked his former linebacker Mike Kollin, who was then playing for the Miami Dolphins, if he would help him do some recruiting. Mike said, "Sure, coach. What kind of player are you looking for?"
The coach said, "Well Mike, you know
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Denomination:
*other
Contributed by C Jordan on Sep 7, 2007
OPENING JOKE: Coach Shug Jordan at Auburn University asked his former Line-backer Mike Kollin, who was then playing for the Miami Dolphins, if he would help his alma mater do some recruiting. Mike said, "Sure, coach. What kind of player are you looking for?" The coach said, "Well Mike, you know
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Denomination:
*other
Contributed by C Jordan on Sep 16, 2007
based on 3 ratings
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JOKE: Coach Shug Jordan at Auburn University asked his former Line-backer Mike Kollin, who was then playing for the Miami Dolphins, if he would help him do some recruiting. Mike said, "Sure, coach. What kind of player are you looking for?" The coach said, "Well Mike, you know there’s that fellow,
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Denomination:
*other
There was once a little boy called Bob who had received a clown puppet for his birthday
he was so proud of this puppet that he wanted to take it to school and show it off
However after getting dressed for school
he couldn’t find it anywhere
he knew his little sister had probably taken it and
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Don Hawks on Oct 16, 2002
based on 7 ratings
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1. Morrie: In His Own Words By Morrie Schwartz:
· Learn how to live, and you’ll know how to die. Once you know how to die, you know how to live.
· Death ends life, not a relationship.
· Dying is only one thing to be sad over. Living unhappily is something else.
· Everything that gets born
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Brian Harvison on Apr 5, 2008
Gary Larson, the artist responsible for the Far Side cartoons that used to appear in the Sunday comics
Had a knack for making us realize the obvious
In one particular cartoon
There were a group of scientists gathered around another scientist
The one is the middle was normal looking
But the others
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Denomination:
Baptist
WHAT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE CHURCH?
Relevant Magazine, in their May-June 2008 issue, asked a bunch of church leaders this question: "Faith: What is the biggest problem facing the church today?" Here are some of their response from pages 73, 74:
a. Shane Claiborne: "One of the most dangerous
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 20, 2008
based on 1 rating
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27 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR SPOUSE
There is nothing more painful than having unhealthy communication with the one you love. It is through communication that we connect and our spirits touch. If that connection becomes contaminated, it is only a matter of time before the whole relationship is
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Be Fishers of Men … You catch ‘em, He’ll clean ‘em.
A family altar can alter a family.
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord!
Forbidden fruits
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Denomination:
Anglican
Contributed by Joel Pankow on Jun 3, 2004
based on 4 ratings
| 3,447 views
True peace with God comes to us when God says to us, “you are one ugly person. I can’t stand to look at you. Your breath stinks, you’re out of shape, and you aren’t worthy of me. Here, take this outfit of righteousness - put it on. Keep it on. Take these works of my Son. Take this holiness
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Sermon Central