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In Sermon Illustrations: "Dad Jokes"

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  • On September 6, 1995, Cal Ripken, Jr., ...  PRO

    Contributed by Tony Miano on Dec 8, 2000
    based on 121 ratings
     | 5,169 views

    “On September 6, 1995, Cal Ripken, Jr., broke the baseball record that many believed would never be broken: Lou Gehrig’s iron-man feat of playing in 2,131 consecutive games. Ripken gives much of the credit for his accomplishments to the example and teaching of his father Cal Ripken, Sr., who ...read more

  • A Preacher’s Family Had Started Putting Up ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Oct 10, 2001
    based on 177 ratings
     | 3,557 views

    A preacher’s family had started putting up a nativity scene in their front yard. All of them were carrying out the little statues to put in the nativity scene. Finally everything was in place - Mary & Joseph & the manger & the baby, & angels & shepherds & all the barnyard animals. Then ...read more

  • You Forgot  PRO

    Contributed by Jim Dillinger on Jun 5, 2003
    based on 19 ratings
     | 3,392 views

    YOU FORGOT Ken Blanchard writes: When my son Scott was a senior in high school, he used to cause problems by parking his truck in the driveway. Nobody could get in or out because his truck was big enough to go to war. I always told him to park it out in the street. One day I came home to ...read more

  • Cranky And Grumpy  PRO

    Contributed by Terry Cavanaugh on May 18, 2004
    based on 7 ratings
     | 1,786 views

    Max Lucado suggested this scenario.. You came home cranky because a deadline got moved up. She came home grumpy because the day-care forgot to give your five-year-old her throat medicine. Each of you was wanting a little sympathy from the other, but neither got any. So there you sit at the dinner ...read more

  • Irene Pepperberg, A Visiting Professor Of Animal ...  PRO

    Contributed by Joe Fornear on Sep 2, 2004
    based on 10 ratings
     | 2,794 views

    Irene Pepperberg, a visiting professor of animal behavior at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, is teaching a parrot how to surf the Internet. "Parrots are very social creatures," she says, but people who own them "leave them alone eight or nine hours a day." She says that leads to boredom ...read more

  • Consider The Lives Of Two Men. One Of Them Max ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sylvester Fergusson on Mar 22, 2006
    based on 5 ratings
     | 1,724 views

    Consider the lives of two men. One of them Max Jukes, lived in New York. He did not believe in Christ or give Christian training to his children. He refused to take his children to church even when they asked to attend. He had 1,026 descendants- 300 of whom were sent to prison for an avergaae term ...read more

  • Stephen Baldwin Recounts In (Chapter 3 Of) His ...

    Contributed by Daniel Devilder on Oct 19, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,419 views

    Stephen Baldwin recounts in (chapter 3 of) his book “the Unusual Suspect” how God’s love was active in his life, even when Stephen was ignorant of and at odds with God: • as a fourth Grader, singing the 23rd Psalm as David the shepherd boy in an opera that made women weep—and provided a rare ...read more

  • Seoul -- At His Father's Funeral, American Carl ...

    Contributed by Bruce Landry on Jan 15, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,043 views

    Seoul -- At his father’s funeral, American Carl Lewis placed his 100-meter gold medal from the 1984 Olympics in his father’s hands. "Don’t worry," he told his surprised mother. "I’ll get another one." A year later, in the 100-meter final at the 1988 games, Lewis was competing against Canadian ...read more

  • A Man In Phoenix Called His Son In New York On ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
     | 1,618 views

    A man in Phoenix called his son in New York on Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough – I cannot take it any more!” The startled son replies, “Pop what are you talking about, you and mom are so in ...read more

  • These Are Actual Answering Machine Answers ...

    Contributed by Terry Blankenship on Apr 4, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,998 views

    These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers *Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They ...read more

  • Several Years Ago While Going Home From Work, ...

    Contributed by Fred Sigle on Apr 20, 2005
     | 2,304 views

    Several years ago while going home from work, Giles Tate, a brother in Christ from Amarillo, Texas, saw two children playing in a vacant lot. They were dirty, ragged, and hungry looking. He stopped his car and asked where they lived. They pointed to an old abandonded school bus standing near ...read more

  • If I Should Wake Before I Die

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 12, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,058 views

    IF I SHOULD WAKE BEFORE I DIE A father knelt down beside his little boy’s bed. It was time for prayers, hugs and kisses, and tucking in. The little boy began the childhood prayer he had repeated so many times before: now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die ...read more

  • A Young Boy Gets A Driving ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 6, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,929 views

    A Young Boy Gets A Driving Permit A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the Bible a little, get your hair cut, ...read more

  • A Bone Or A Steak?

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 25, 2011
     | 2,227 views

    A BONE OR A STEAK? Which is better, a bone or a steak? Think of it this way. It’s easy to give a dog a bone, but it’s almost impossible to take a bone away from a dog. Even our little Schnauzer, Betsy, the world’s friendliest dog, will growl at me if I try to take a bone away from her. But ...read more

  • I Knew He Would Come.

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 10, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,699 views

    "I KNEW HE WOULD COME." Bruce Howell tells the story of a father and his son and daughter who were 8 and 10. They went swimming in the Atlantic Ocean off New Jersey a few years back. They were all great swimmers. They were a long way from shore and they became separated when the dad realized that ...read more

  • God Redeems A Child's Death

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 28, 2011
     | 5,405 views

    GOD REDEEMS A CHILD'S DEATH These are bad things God allows in order to reveal Himself and accomplish some larger good that supersedes or overcomes the bad. Imagine the following scenario: Three little boys walk into a large electrical compound in Okinawa when the workmen momentarily walks to his ...read more

  • Nuk Nuk Nuk

    Contributed by Brad Henry on Sep 27, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,605 views

    NUK NUK NUK As you know our 12-year-old son Chase is autistic. I have introduced both our boys to a very intellectual series of programs called The Three Stooges. The problem with Chase being autistic is he can do a "Nuk Nuk" almost anywhere at anytime. So the slapstick has started at our house. I ...read more

  • I Want To Go Home

    Contributed by Johnny A. Palmer Jr. on Dec 11, 2011
     | 4,347 views

    I WANT TO GO HOME Fred Smith, an influential Christian businessman was seriously ill in the summer of 2004. He was hospitalized, semiconscious, and not expected to live. Periodically he would mutter, "I want to go home, I want to go home." After an emotional family conference, the family ...read more

  • Why Its Called An Idiot Light

    Contributed by Larry Hinkle on Jun 12, 2020
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,143 views

    Six months after I bought my first car, the "service engine" light came on. I called my dad from college, "What does that service engine light mean? Can I still drive it, or do I need to fix something?" He chuckled and said, it was an idiot light, "It is set to trigger ...read more

  • Remember False Guilt Attacks The Person And The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Steve Greene on Apr 12, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,766 views

    Remember false guilt attacks the person and the Holy Spirit attacks the problem. A young boy was going to spend the evening at a friend¡¦s house. His father asked that he call home once he arrived so that the father could be assured that his son had arrived safely. As the evening wore on, this ...read more