Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
based on 2 ratings
| 8,296 views
THE WISDOM OF CHILDREN
Patrick aged 10: "Never trust a dog to watch your food."
Michael aged 14: "When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him."
Joel, aged 10: "Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a cricket bat."
Andrew aged 9: "Puppies still have bad breath
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Brethren
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Dec 25, 2011
THE ACCESS OF A SON
Dale was one of my childhood friends. His dad ran the projectors in one of the local movie theatres. If I went to that theatre without Dale I paid full admission and had to sit on the main floor with everyone else. If I went with Dale, I got in free and got to sit up in the
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Joe Bertone on Jul 23, 2012
based on 1 rating
| 3,270 views
PURE WHITE
A little girl went to the countryside on holiday. The cabin where she stayed was next to a grassy hillside on which sheep grazed. She had never seen sheep before. The girl could look from the front door of the cottage and see the sheep milling around on the slope of green. She exclaimed
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 27, 2020
“When I was a kid, my dad and I were driving somewhere on a nice, sunny afternoon…. My window was rolled down. The town we live in isn’t known to be a destination for celebs of any kind. We pull up to a light; we’re the second car from the front. A polished limo pulls up next to us, and the window
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 12, 2008
Nothing is quite as sweet as the attachment most children have to their mother.
(from Reader’s Digest):
One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Brian noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."
This explanation satisfied
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Independent/Bible
based on 1 rating
| 11,709 views
In 1978, Thomas Hansen of Boulder Colorado, sued his parents for $350,000 on grounds of "malpractice of parenting." His lawsuit claimed that Mom and Dad had botched his upbringing so badly, that he would need
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Holiness
Contributed by Frank Gallagher on Feb 20, 2001
based on 98 ratings
| 4,674 views
A few years ago, I was watching David Letterman, and he was broadcasting his show from Las Vegas. He was doing his opening monologue and he told this joke.
He said that he was standing in front of one of the casinos, and a man came up to him looking desperate.
"Please!" the man begged
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Joel Pankow on Apr 13, 2001
based on 200 ratings
| 9,624 views
POSSUMS AND THE GRAVE
I have heard that possums are smart animals. You wouldn’t think so because you hardly ever see one except when it’s dead on the road. There’s a joke that goes, “why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!”
But possums, it turns out,
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Lutheran
Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 28, 2004
based on 17 ratings
| 8,168 views
THE REAL DEAL?
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young accountant who was fresh out of school, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The Accountant said, "In the neighborhood of 100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer
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Contributed by Paul Shafit on Aug 4, 2007
A colleague was invited to hold a speech in Japan. Aware of his reputation as a very good speaker, he was surprised that his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the audience did not react to anything he said. Somewhat put down, he went back to
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Mark Armstrong on Jun 2, 2009
A FEW WORDS
Imagine going into a bank, innocently filling out a withdrawal slip, and within minutes being arrested by the police. When Ron Schatz filled out a withdrawal slip in an American bank, he had no idea that handcuffs would soon be placed upon him. It took a while to straighten out the
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Brandon Park on Jan 31, 2010
I have heard that possums are smart animals. You wouldn’t think so because you hardly ever see one except when it’s dead on the road. There’s a joke that goes, “why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!” But possums, it turns out, are smart. They won’t enter
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Jeremy Houck on Jun 18, 2005
based on 3 ratings
| 6,081 views
It like the family that was down fishing at the pier one day, The dad was busy watching the rods and bobbers while his two sons, a 12-year old and a 3-year old were down playing along the dock. The 12 year old was supposed to be watching his little brother, but he got distracted. The 3 year old,
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Kevin Earls on Oct 25, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 1,312 views
Illustration: It’s a fascinating story that comes out of the 1989 earthquake which almost flattened Armenia. This deadly tremor killed over 30,000 people in less than four minutes. In the midst of all the confusion of the earthquake, a father rushed to his son’s school. When he arrived there he
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Richard Burkey on May 16, 2005
based on 21 ratings
| 1,203 views
According to one expert children go through 4 stages of dealing with their fathers. In stage one, they call you da-da. In stage 2 they grow and call you daddy. As they mature and reach
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Eric Vertein on Apr 28, 2005
When I was in college in Watertown, I worked at Bethesda Lutheran Home, a home for the ‘developmentally disabled.’ I worked the night shift and went to school during the day. One winter morning when I got off from work, I hopped in the car, turned the key and… click… nothing. It wouldn’t turn over
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Sermon Central