Contributed by Phil Dyar on Mar 23, 2007
based on 7 ratings
| 3,162 views
{HOW FOOTBALL IS RELATIVE TO CHURCH}
1.QUATERBACK SNEAK-CHURCH MEMBERS QUIETLY LEAVING DURING THE CLOSING HYMN.
2.DRAW PLAY-WHAT MANY KIDS DO WITH THE ORDER OF
SERVICE DURING WORSHIP.
3.HALF TIME-THE PERIOD BETWEEN SUNDAY SCHOOL AND WORSHIP WHEN MANY CHOOSE TO LEAVE.
4.TRAP PLAY-YOU"RE
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Scripture:
Contributed by Rick Brown on Feb 23, 2008
SAINT WALKS IN ON
BISHOP AND SEES HIM COUNTING MONEY.
EXCUSE ME I DID NOT MEAN TO INTERRUPT. AS HE TURNS TO LEAVE THE BISHOP SAYS “NO LONGER CAN THE CHURCH SAY SILVER AND GOLD HAVE I NONE.” AS THE SAINT PULLS THE DOOR TO
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by James Vilgos on Nov 18, 2005
based on 4 ratings
| 4,177 views
Church is a Hospital for sinners:
A Some are content with placebos, fake medicines that you think are healing you so you feel good. Things that get you excited like music, a joke in the sermon, an emotional speaker things that they receive as entertainment and you think that is the Holy
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Denomination:
Orthodox
Irritation in a Church Service:
It is not all that strange for people to come to church and be dissatisfied with something going on there. On the two occasions I had recently to sit out in the audience at church with my family I noticed myself focusing on things like the temperature of the room
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Paul Humphrey on Sep 3, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 4,895 views
Sez I to myself, as I grumbled and growled,
Im sick of my church, and then how I scowled.
The members unfriendly, the sermons too long;
In fact, it seems that everything’s wrong.
I don’t like the singing; the church a disgrace
For signs of neglect are all over the place.
I’ll quit going there, and
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Denomination:
United Methodist
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Apr 27, 2001
based on 157 ratings
| 3,852 views
[Clothes Make a Church]
A Methodist church tried to get a man to attend, but he never did.
"Why don’t you come?" the minister asked, and the man finally admitted it was because he didn’t have proper clothes.
So a member of the congregation took him to a clothing store and got him a nice suit,
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 4, 2001
based on 374 ratings
| 4,740 views
Hymns Of The Laodicean Church
(God’s Frozen People)
The Laodicean Church announces publication of "Church Songs," whose title, according to the editor, was chosen because "We didn’t want to turn anybody off with threatening words that no one understands anymore like ’worship’ or ’hymn.’ People in
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 4, 2001
based on 160 ratings
| 4,474 views
Why go to Church?
A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. “I’ve gone for 30 years now,” he wrote, “and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a
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Contributed by Cary Paulk on Mar 14, 2002
based on 47 ratings
| 2,938 views
The problem is that the church that fails to change fails to impact the culture of change. It becomes a dinosaur, a memorial to a world that no longer exists. So, on the one hand, while it protects those within its walls from overwhelming stress, on the other hand, it becomes biblically and
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 1, 2002
based on 179 ratings
| 7,552 views
WHY GO TO CHURCH?
A Churchgoer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I’ve gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one
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Contributed by Davon Huss on Sep 7, 2004
The cradle of the church was the marketplace. From the preaching and public ministry of Jesus to the daily acts of the apostles, the central scene was the marketplace. Perhaps the greatest need for our day is the need to market Jesus Christ. The church must become expert in marketing: Not in
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Jeffrey Sackett on Jan 24, 2003
based on 48 ratings
| 2,083 views
The problem with not coming to church is that you’re like the radio operator on the USS California. They called the ship unsinkable. They claimed it was the safest ship on the Seas. But as the night of April 14th gave way to dawn of the 15th the British ocean liner, the Titanic, of the White Star
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 28, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 2,907 views
Church Membership Vows
Will you ___________, take your church to be your church; to live together in the holy covenant of membership? Will you love, comfort, honor, and keep your church and be faithful to your church as long as you live?
Do you ___________, take your church to be your church, from
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Denomination:
Church Of God
based on 1 rating
| 2,604 views
There is a church in Millan, Italy that was bombed out during WWII. All of the walls of the church fell down during the war except one. The wall left standing had Leonardo Da Vinci’s "Last Supper" scene painted on it. What a wonderful illustration of how this meal that we call the Lord’s
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Ervin Kimrey on Jul 17, 2007
based on 4 ratings
| 2,384 views
"Tavern vs Church"
The story is told of a man who got a permit to open the first tavern in a small town. The members of a local church were strongly opposed to the bar, so they began to pray that God would intervene.
A few days before the tavern was scheduled to open, lightning hit the
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Clark Tanner on Aug 21, 2007
“The church, especially in the realm of evangelicalism, has over history bounced between two extremes. On the one hand isolationism, which makes us very sure of what we have to say but there’s no one to talk to, on the other an absorption by the culture, which gives us someone to
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Denomination:
Orthodox
Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 16, 2007
Appropriate Church Behavior
In church last Sunday I noted a small child who was turning around smiling at everyone. He wasn’t gurgling, spitting, humming, tearing the hymnbooks, or rummaging through his mother’s handbag. He was just smiling.
Suddenly his mother jerked him around, and in a stage
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Denomination:
Baptist
Sermon Central