Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2002
based on 75 ratings
| 3,759 views
CHURCH NEVERS
6. Never ask an usher to break a $20.
5. Never do a cannonball in the baptismal tank.
4. Never hold a church business meeting on Super Bowl Sunday.
3. Never tell the pastor, "We love your church and we might even come back next Easter."
2. During youth group activities, never bungee
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Contributed by Tony Searles on Jul 25, 2002
based on 44 ratings
| 4,657 views
10% of church members cannot be found?
20% of church members never attend church
25% admit that they never pray
35% admit that they do not read their Bibles
40% admit that they never contribute to the church?tithe or offering
60% never give to missions
70% never assume responsibility within the
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Other
Contributed by Rob Ross on Apr 9, 2003
based on 35 ratings
| 4,355 views
This Is My Church
It is composed of people just like me.
It will be friendly if I am.
It will do a great work if I work.
It will make generous gifts to many causes if I am generous.
It will bring others into its fellowship if I bring them.
Its seats will be filled if I fill them.
It will be a
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Baptist
Contributed by Keith Davis on May 5, 2003
based on 14 ratings
| 6,015 views
The Perfect Church
I think that I shall never see
A church that’s all it ought to be;
A church that has no empty pews,
Whose preacher never has the blues;
A church whose deacons always “deke”
And none is proud but all are meek;
Where gossips never peddle lies
Or make complaints or
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Troy Borst on May 28, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 4,057 views
What is the church?
Russ Blowers is a minister who is active in his local Indianapolis Rotary club. At club meetings each week a member gives a brief statement about his job. When it was his turn, Russ said: "I’m with a global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by James Chandler on Jun 29, 2003
based on 20 ratings
| 3,902 views
The Perfect Church
Mavis Williams
If you should find the perfect church
Without one fault or smear,
For goodness sake!
Don’t join that church;
You’d spoil the atmosphere.
If you should find the perfect church
Where all anxieties cease
Then pass it by, lest joining it
You’d mar the masterpiece.
If
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 6, 2005
Touching in Church
What is all this touching in church? It used to be a person could come to church and sit in the pew and not be bothered by all this friendliness and certainly not by touching. I used to come to church and leave untouched. Now I have to be nervous about what is expected of me. I
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Sep 20, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 2,578 views
Church For Fanatics
One man wrote "I was a supply preacher for a small town Texas Church, coming in early Sunday, preaching a sermon to the congregation, and then leaving after lunch. Arriving early one Sunday I sat down at a local donut shop, opened my Bible and went over my sermon notes. "
A man
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Charles Salmon on Jan 15, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 6,834 views
Sleeping in Church
A Minister, while preaching, noted most of his congregation was asleep. He stopped the sermon and asked a deacon to pass the offering plate. The deacon woke up red-faced and reminded him the offering had already been taken.
His response; “Never mind, take up another one. I
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 20, 2001
based on 152 ratings
| 6,336 views
AFTER CHURCH...
There he stood, in the midst of the Golden Corral restaurant, with Thousand Island dressing dripping from his hair, over his glasses, down his face, all over his jacket, pants, & shoes. And I’m not talking about a little bit of Thousand Island dressing, I’m talking about 2 gallons
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bob Joyce on Sep 17, 2007
based on 5 ratings
| 12,837 views
Church Unity?
I read about a church that split, and that split began over an argument at a potluck supper when a lady brought a congealed salad she made with Cool Whip instead of real whipping cream. There’s a book entitled War In The Pews that talks about real-life instances which are absolutely
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Baptist
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Oct 31, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 1,908 views
In his book Comeback Churches, Ed Stetzer said:
Comeback churches cast a compelling vision for outreach. They made intentional, strategic efforts to move outward.
** - The main reason a church does not grow is that it doesn’t want to grow.
Everyone in the church should be engaged in three
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 2, 2007
A Church Is Not An Audience
A sharp distinction ought to be made between a church and an audience.
· An audience is a group of unrelated people drawn together by a short-lived attraction. A church is a group of born again believers drawn together by a Savior.
· An audience is a crowd. A church is
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Denomination:
Baptist
DIVISION IN THE CHURCH
We might sum up the divisions in this church this way according to Parsons:
i. "I follow Paul" -- This group may have taken the attitude that Paul started this church and he will always be the leader. These are the traditionalists.
1. They always live in the past and never
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
PLAYING CHURCH
Some years ago I met Johnny Moore. Johnny is the lead singer for "His Glory". He tells his story of how he was on his way home one night before he got serious with the Lord. He’d been kinda "playing church." He was on his way home from a Wednesday night prayer meeting, and he
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Denomination:
United Methodist
Contributed by Nathan Johnson on Sep 25, 2008
based on 6 ratings
| 4,071 views
The Invisible Church
Warren Weirsbe tells a story of a free-lance missionary that visited a pastor friend asking for financial support. "What group are you associated with?" his friend asked. The man replied, "I belong to the invisible church."
His friend then asked, "Well, what church are you a
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Denomination:
Baptist
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