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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

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  • Something He Didn't Do

    Contributed by Josh Cougle on Apr 6, 2010
     | 3,397 views

    SOMETHING HE DIDN'T DO My fourth daughter Kezzi is struggling through some things lately; one of them is lying. She's an obvious liar too. A month or so ago, someone left the milk out. Not a huge thing in itself, but Kezzi isn't supposed to pour the milk. Now that complicates it. I call all of the ...read more

  • Who Influences Whom?

    Contributed by Perry Greene on Feb 15, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,704 views

    WHO INFLUENCES WHOM? I heard a joke about Bill and Hillary Clinton recently. It seems they were on vacation one weekend, and decided to go for a drive to see the beautiful countryside. After a while, they needed to stop for gas. They pulled into a tiny gas station, and out walked a man to help ...read more

  • Surrounded By Idiots

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 10, 2021
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,248 views

    Do you ever feel like you are surrounded by idiots? One web site collected stories… I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction ...read more

  • Terry Waite, Who Was A Hostage In Lebanon For ...  PRO

    Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Dec 10, 2000
    based on 135 ratings
     | 3,458 views

    Terry Waite, who was a hostage in Lebanon for five long years, tells in his autobiography, how for month after month he was kept chained hand and foot. Most of his clothes were taken from him, his shoes and even his watch. For hours at a time he could only curl up as a baby and he says he felt ...read more

  • A Group Of Four-Year-Olds Were Presenting A ...

    Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Jan 1, 2009
     | 2,856 views

    A group of four-year-olds were presenting a Christmas Pageant. Everything moved along smoothly until the children playing Mary and Joseph arrived at the inn in Bethlehem. ‘Do you have any room for us?’ asked young Joseph. ‘No, the inn is full,’ replied the innkeeper. ‘But it’s so cold outside, ...read more

  • [019] A Message From A Poem - An Atheist’s Lament

    Contributed by Ron Ferguson on Jun 22, 2024
     | 671 views

    [019] A MESSAGE FROM A POEM - AN ATHEIST’S LAMENT I do not know how many nations know what the 1st of April is. In western society it is known as April Fools’ Day and is a time when some play tricks on others. The Day is also known as “All Fools’ Day.” The following is taken from The Editors ...read more

  • This Baby Is For You

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2011
     | 4,527 views

    THIS BABY IS FOR YOU Pastor and author Richard Foster writes about genuine, joyous giving. "Giving with a glad and generous heart has a way of rooting out the tough old miser within us. Just the very act of letting go of money or some other treasure does something great within us."1 Such genuine, ...read more

  • I Didn't Save You. God Did.

    Contributed by Tim Smith on Feb 19, 2012
     | 1,878 views

    "I DIDN'T SAVE YOU. GOD DID." Fireman Edward Cushing tells the story of an old frame house burning on the southside of Chicago. He ordered the hoses to start fighting the fire and then dashed inside and pulled three people out. When the blaze was over, the Chief came over and told him he did a ...read more

  • Larry Stewart Had Lost His Job And Was Living In ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 3, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,670 views

    Larry Stewart had lost his job and was living in his car. Hungry but broke, Stewart went into a restaurant and ordered a big breakfast. His plan was that when the check came he would claim he couldn’t find his wallet. When that happened, the owner of the diner, Ted Horn, came from behind the ...read more

  • Crime Scene Investigation

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 5, 2009
     | 3,006 views

    CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION It was September 18, 1910 on a Saturday at the Hiller home in Chicago. Clarence Hiller had spent the day painting his house. By early evening everyone was in bed asleep. The Hillers woke up in the early morning and noticed. Clarence went to investigate why a gas light ...read more

  • Buying The Stereo

    Contributed by Paul Steen on Dec 11, 2017
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,238 views

    BUYING THE STEREO Philippians 4:11 I had an interesting experience buying a stereo as a teenager. I dreamed of getting one for Christmas when I was 19. I knew it would make me happy. I could hear the music playing and see myself swaying. I really needed it. But, Christmas came and went and I ...read more

  • Giving

    Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Nov 22, 2023
     | 1,536 views

    I was raised in the church. My dad pastored 65 years. I graduated college and was married. We returned home for Christmas. We all gathered around the tree. I remembered my speedometer and God’s goodness. My wife and mom handed out the presents. Each family member had several gifts. In the ...read more

  • When We Look Down At Earth  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 30, 2002
    based on 6 ratings
     | 2,261 views

    WHEN WE LOOK DOWN AT EARTH On December 24, 1968 the world watched as Commander Frank Borman and his crew made history during the first manned flight to orbit the moon. The members of the Apollo 8 mission had an important message for the world that Christmas Eve -- they read from the biblical Book ...read more

  • Long-Winded Driving  PRO

    Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Mar 19, 2003
    based on 47 ratings
     | 2,847 views

    [Long-Winded Driving] A pastor and his wife were driving to visit Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas. Their daughter asked the inevitable question, “Are we almost there?” The father said, “No, we are still 150 miles away.” She asked, “Well, how long is that?” “Well, honey, it’s about three more ...read more

  • Is It Dangerous To Spend So Much Time Talking ...

    Contributed by Marty Boller on Oct 29, 2005
     | 1,446 views

    Is it dangerous to spend so much time talking about Narnia & Aslan? One little girl named Hila wrote to Lewis asking him to tell her Aslan’s OTHER NAME. Lewis responded with clues from the stories. “Well, I want you to guess. Has there ever been anyone in THIS world who… Arrived at the same time ...read more

  • Recently A Photograph Of Two Sculptors ...

    Contributed by Tony Abram on Dec 2, 2007
     | 1,610 views

    Recently a photograph of two sculptors decorating a new post office in a suburb of Cologne, West Germany, appeared in our daily newspaper. Two giant hands, each two meters long, seem to be grasping for each other but in vain. One hand, the higher hand, juts right out of the side of the building ...read more

  • You Plan To Have A Photograph Of All Of The ...

    Contributed by Rick Pendleton on Dec 8, 2008
     | 1,853 views

    You plan to have a photograph of all of the grand kids, in their most precious Christmas clothes... it will be the perfect gift for Grandma. But when you go to have the photograph made little Johnny will not sit still... Andy has pulled the bow out of his sister’s hair... the one you paid $16 to ...read more

  • The More Personal A Gift Is The More It Is ...

    Contributed by Bruce Rzengota on Dec 28, 2009
     | 1,737 views

    The more personal a gift is the more it is treasured. Illustration: Bob and Becky Braffhart are missionaries to Mali. She is teacher. He is a builder and projects manager. He has helped construct the Mali woman’s hospital where Allie Cornoyer will be this Christmas. Their first son was ...read more

  • Last Laugh

    Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Oct 13, 2011
     | 3,407 views

    LAST LAUGH Religion in its highest form is a belief in a being greater than themselves. There are some people who would deny this: they are called "atheists" and say that God in any shape or form is neither necessary nor possible, and so couldn’t possibly exist. When the Russians sent a ...read more

  • Nearly A Century Ago, A Famous English Preacher ...  PRO

    Contributed by John Sloat on Apr 3, 2001
    based on 113 ratings
     | 2,300 views

    Nearly a century ago, a famous English preacher described in vivid detail the practice of one particular lord of the manor. Every year on Christmas day, this lord gave all the poor people who were his subjects a generous basket of food. Every person brought a basket with him and the lord’s custom ...read more