In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas humor" showing 981-1,000 of 1,791

God Is Missing!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 15, 2020

Two young boys in a Christian school had been continually mis-behaving and were sent to the principal’s office on several occasions. The principal knew what they really needed was to have God in their lives, so she brought the first boy in and set him down. “I want to ask you a question. Where is ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30, Psalm 46:10, John 3:16, Romans 5:8

Tags: Humor, God's Love, Guilt, Unconfessed Sin, Confusion  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Is Jonah In Heaven Or Not?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

Atheist to girl: “You don’t believe there is a real Jonah who was swallowed by a whale do you? No one believes that stuff any more!” Girl – “I sure do, and when I get to Heaven, I’m going to find Jonah and talk to him about it!" Then the atheist laughed and said mockingly, “And what if ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Humor, Miracles, Atheists, Bible, Faith, Jonah, Preaching  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Funny Thanksgiving Joke To Share!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 18, 2021

A FUNNY THANKSGIVING JOKE TO SHARE! A retiree in Florida phones his daughter in New Jersey and says, “Honey, I have bad news for you. Your mother and I have decided that 52 years of marriage is enough. We’re calling it quits and getting a divorce.” His daughter yells, “Are you crazy? What the ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introduction, Funny Stories, Thanksgiving, Humor, Jokes  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Good News, Bad News Laughs

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

Good News: You baptised seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The women's group voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Bad News: They are ...read more

Tags: Jokes, Sermons, Sermon Introductions, Humor, Pastors, Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Praying The Alphabet!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 12, 2022

A father walked by his daughter’s bedroom door which was cracked just enough so that he could see that she was kneeling beside her bed in prayer. Interested to find out what subjects a child would bring before God, he paused and listened. He was puzzled though to hear her reciting the alphabet: ...read more

Tags: Prayer, Humor, Lord's Prayer, Jokes, Needs, Children  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Here's A Funny New Approach To Evangelism!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 10, 2022

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So. the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door." Soon after ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:8

Tags: Evangelism, Gospel, Humor, Witnessing, Sermon Intro, Barbers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Where I Used To Go To Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 4, 2022

A man was stranded on a deserted Pacific island for years. Finally, one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper’s attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After a while the sailor asks, ...read more

Tags: Church, Worship, Humor, Strife, Division, Church Splits  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Don't Do Road Rage If You Have A Christian Bumper Sticker!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 29, 2022

I love the story of the stressed-out woman who was tailgating a man as they drove on a busy boulevard. When he slowed to a stop at a yellow light, the woman hit the horn, cussing and screaming in frustration and gesturing angrily. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and ...read more

Tags: Stress, Satan, Obedience, Humor, Hypocrisy, Testimony, Police  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

If Marriage Is That Much Work....

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 23, 2022

Because of a shortage of maids, the minister’s wife advertised for a male servant to help around the house. The next morning, a nicely dressed young man came to the front door of the parsonage. The minister opened the door and jumped right into the conversation. "Can you start breakfast by 7 ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:18-31

Tags: Love, Marriage, Work, Humor, Engagement, Singles, Fiancee  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Worst Dad Joke Ever

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 17, 2023

I usually begin every one of my Sunday sermons with a funny story to get our congregation comfortable before I begin to dive in deeply to the Word of God. If you like dad jokes or puns (old name) and you want to make your congregation groan a little bit.........check this dad joke out! CHESS ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22, Galatians 5:22-23

Tags: Medicine, Dad Jokes, Happiness, Joy, Humor, Laughter  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When I Passed Out Preaching On Death!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 25, 2024

I met Christ as my personal Lord and Savior when I was 15 years old. I had grown up in church and had faithfully gone to church 3 or 4 times per week my whole life......but I did not have a personal relationship with Jesus. After trusting Him as my Savior, I felt that God spoke to my heart ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 9:27

Tags: Death, Heaven, Preaching, Humor, Pastors, Churches, Fainting  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When A Thief Was Surprised At Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 13, 2023

When I was pastoring in Texas, something strange happened one Christmas that I will never stop laughing about. Because it was a Christmas holiday, we were at home with our family taking a break from our normal ministry schedule. We did not go to the church campus for the weekend. But, while we ...read more

Scripture: Malachi 3:10-11, Proverbs 3:9-10, 1 Timothy 6:10, 1 Corinthians 16:1-2

Tags: Pastors, Tithing, Robbing God, Stealing, Surprises, Church, Giving, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Roof Of The Church Hall Of A Little Swiss ...  PRO

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Aug 8, 2001

The roof of the church hall of a little Swiss church, at the turn of the 20th century, was falling down. So the members of the church held regular prayer meetings in the hall after the service to pray for funds to repair the roof . There was an old man, known to be very tight with his money, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 6:5-13

Tags: Spiritual Warfare, Warfare, Humor, Giving General, Church Practices  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Anglican

You Don't Know How To Get To The Post Office!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 13, 2014

Dr. Billy Graham tells the story of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter in those days, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, "If you will come to church ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-6, 1 Timothy 4:16

Tags: Evangelism, Outreach, Heaven, Humor, Billy Graham, Great Commission  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Who Tore Down The Walls Of Jericho??

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 4, 2021

A pastor entered a class as the lesson was in progress and asked, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?" A lad answered, "Not me, sir." The pastor turned to the teacher and asked, "Is this the usual behavior in this class?" The teacher replied, "I believe ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Bible, Scripture, Jericho, Humor, Miracles, Unbelief, Ignorance Of Scripture  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Pastor, Don't Get Too Excited Over Compliments!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

A NEW MAN AFTER THAT SERMON The minister’s sermon on this particular Sunday was considerably longer than normal. However, it was so well prepared and inspiring that he just knew it would be a big hit with the congregation. At the end of the service he stood shaking hands with the people as they ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Church Members, Compliments, Boring Sermons, Preaching, Humor, Pastors  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

You Are Grounded!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 15, 2022

THE PRODIGAL SON'S RETURN... We were sitting in Church a few weeks ago while the minister delivered a sermon based on the timeless story of the prodigal son. When he got to the point where the father sees his son returning and races out to meet him, the minister said loudly and with ...read more

Tags: Parables, Prodigal Son, Jokes, Prodigals, Children, Parents, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

My Favorite Palm Sunday Story!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 7, 2022

Palm Sunday is a very important, reverent occasion for every child of God to remember. However, sometimes children remind us of how genuine they are even in the most serious moments of worship. For example, It was Palm Sunday at church, but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Annie stayed home ...read more

Tags: Palm Sunday, Funny Stories, Sermon Intros, Children, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Mom, Why Do You Have White Hair???

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 5, 2022

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks: “Why are some of your hairs white, ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introductions, Aging, Humor, Mothers, Mother's Day, Grandmothers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Love At Last!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 20, 2022

George, age 92 and Edith, age 89 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way, they pass a drugstore. George suggests they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter. "Are you the owner? "The pharmacist answers, ...read more

Tags: Love, Marriage, Humor, Old Age, Weddings, Senior Adults  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational