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These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the
world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers
*Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Nov 16, 2009
A SPIRITUAL RHYTHM
Developing a rhythm in your spiritual life means organizing your life around times of stopping to remember God. What is important is not the length of time but that you regularly stop to refocus on God. It could be five minutes or forty minutes. It could be your break time.
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Denomination:
Church Of God
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THE DURABILITY TEST
Endurance is a quality that God expects us to manifest. If you go to an IKEA store, you will find somewhere in the chair department a glass box with what is called the durability test. They have a mechanism that simulates someone sitting on the chair, and they say the chair was
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Denomination:
Baptist
I WANT TO GO HOME
Fred Smith, an influential Christian businessman was seriously ill in the summer of 2004. He was hospitalized, semiconscious, and not expected to live.
Periodically he would mutter, "I want to go home, I want to go home." After an emotional family conference, the family
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 2 ratings
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Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba’s neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the
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Chuck Swindoll defines fool
this way from his book, Living on the Ragged Edge:
“Folly is a term we don’t use that often, but it is a term used rather frequently in Scripture. It suggests a lack of good sense, lack of foresight, failing to realize the consequences of a stupid act before it
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Charles Wallis on Feb 21, 2008
based on 1 rating
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Saved by Sickness from NIU Shooting
The church member, a grandfather, received a phone call one evening this past week from his granddaughter who was sick and asked for prayer. The godly grandfather prayed and prayed in faith for healing. But she got worse in the night.
Early the next morning
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Glenn Durham on Mar 25, 2008
based on 1 rating
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“To the best of our knowledge, the New Hebrides had no Christian influence before John Williams and James Harris from the London Missionary Society landed in 1839. Minutes after going ashore, both missionaries were killed and eaten by cannibals” (John Piper, online paper).
Eighteen years later,
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Brian Harvison on Aug 2, 2008
single man named Jerry had a pet cat that he loved very much.
One year, he decided to take a vacation to England, so he left his cat with his brother Dan.
As soon as Jerry got to England, he called his brother Dan.
“How is my cat?” he asked.
“Your cat is dead,” Dan said.
“Oh my!” he shouted. “I’m
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Denomination:
Baptist