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In Sermon Illustrations: "Almost"

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  • Christian Football!!  PRO

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Feb 9, 2005
    based on 7 ratings
     | 3,133 views

    Humor Illustration: CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!! Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship. Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave. Benchwarmer - Those who do ...read more

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    Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

  • Gordon Brightened As He Figured Out The Dilemma ...

    Contributed by Lisa Delay on Sep 25, 2006
     | 1,470 views

    Gordon brightened as he figured out the dilemma and responded, “I answered who am I, but I should have said, ‘For a living I defend profitable corporations from schemers trying to get rich with frivolous lawsuits’.” Gordon chuckled and gave a big toothy grin to his classmates. “Go ahead, hate ...read more

    Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

  • A Young Man Went Out To Buy His First Car. He ...

    Contributed by Jerry Caddell on Feb 16, 2007
     | 1,578 views

    A young man went out to buy his first car. He didn’t have a lot of money to spend so he went to a local used-car lot where he found a 1967 Red Mustang in what appeared to be mint condition. He was told by the salesman that the car had been owned by a little old lady from Pasadena, oops, I’m sorry, ...read more

    Denomination: Methodist

  • Winston Churchill's Ever Patient Wife Told Him ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,949 views

    Winston Churchill’s ever patient wife told him that him that loosing the election immediately after the war might be a blessing in disguise. His response was ’at the moment its certainly very well disguised’ But a few months later saw it differently ’I feel a great sense of relief...others having ...read more

  • Let Me Read To Something Written By Oscar Wilde. ...

    Contributed by Rick Stacy on Apr 10, 2006
     | 2,044 views

    Let me read to something written by Oscar Wilde. Oscar Wilde was a playwrite in the 19th century who was one of the leaders of the Decadence Movement of his era. In modern use, decadence is often defined as a decline in or loss of excellence, obstructing the pursuit of ideals. It is typified by ...read more

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    Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

  • So This Is For Those Of You Who Are Football ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,558 views

    So this is for those of you who are football fans. The following football terms that have been applied to the church: A Benchwarmer- is someone who does not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit in the pew. A Draw Play – is what many children do with the bulletin during ...read more

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  • As Christians, We Need To Have The Right ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,804 views

    As Christians, we need to have the right perspective. Wrong perspectives can often make us choose a course of action that is not in our best interest. In the 1940’s, a woman by the name of Ruth Gruber was working with the Department of the Interior, helping to promote the Alaskan territory to ...read more

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  • When 53-Year-Old Danny Anderson Was Feeding His ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Aug 11, 2007
     | 912 views

    When 53-year-old Danny Anderson was feeding his horses Monday night, a 5-foot rattler slithered onto his central Washington property. Anderson and his 27-year-old son, Benjamin, pinned the snake with an irrigation pipe and cut off its head with a shovel. A few more strikes to the head left it ...read more

    Denomination: Other

  • The Coney Is A Rock Badger, A Bit Larger Than The ...

    Contributed by Frederick Baker Ii on Sep 3, 2007
     | 2,052 views

    The Coney is a rock badger, a bit larger than the prairie dogs that infect our state of Colorado. Coneys are gray, the color of the rocks. As long as the coney, the rock badger, is on the rock sunning itself, it’s almost impossible to see. When a predator comes to attack, the Coney will run into a ...read more

    Denomination: *other

  • One Day Bill Morris Went Out Hunting In The Woods ...

    Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Oct 10, 2007
     | 955 views

    One day Bill Morris went out hunting in the woods just outside Prince George in British Columbia, Canada. It had been a slow day and he hadn’t found any game to shoot. Suddenly, he heard a noise behind him. He whirled around and saw two ferocious looking bears coming towards him. He quickly ...read more

    Denomination: Anglican

  • Several Years Ago My Wife And I Bought Our 2 ...

    Contributed by Virgil Gibson on Oct 17, 2007
     | 1,751 views

    Several years ago my wife and I bought our 2 small grandsons new bicycles for their birthdays. We did not have a truck available at the time, so we bought the bikes unassembled. My son and I realized that it would not be a big task to assemble the bikes. We began the process without reading the ...read more

    Denomination: Apostolic

  • A Lot Of You Have Probably Never Heard Of Kyle ...  PRO

    Contributed by Darrin Fish on Dec 10, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,397 views

    A lot of you have probably never heard of Kyle McDonald, • Kyle’s mission was to trade one red paperclip for an entire house. • Before you say, “This guy is nuts,” you should know that he did it , he succeeded. • He started in July a few years ago. • He found someone who would trade in a ...read more

    Denomination: Christian Church

  • But There Was A Time When You Got To Christmas ...

    Contributed by Dale Harlow on Dec 17, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,268 views

    But there was a time when you got to Christmas and it all slowed down. You would have the week between Christmas and New Year’s sort of as the holiday. It is not that you didn’t work during that time, but things slowed down significantly. But like those hospital stays it has been shortened ...read more

    Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

  • The Family Is Experiencing Assaults On Many ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 27, 2008
     | 1,564 views

    The family is experiencing assaults on many fronts in the 21st century, but the U.S. Census Bureau reported February 20, 2008, that the traditional family of husband, wife, and two or more children is still common. The U.S. Census Bureau report said that almost 45 million (61 percent) of the ...read more

  • Prayer Is The Strongest Form Of Abiding That ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 1, 2008
     | 4,819 views

    Prayer is the strongest form of abiding that there is. A retired teacher was giving her little nephew some help with his schoolwork. He was normally a good, attentive child, but on this occasion he could not fix his mind on his work. Suddenly he said, "Aunt Sally, may I kneel down and ask God to ...read more

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  • An Altitude ...

    Contributed by Eric Ferguson on Jun 10, 2008
     | 3,211 views

    An Altitude Problem A few years ago, a couple of adventurers tried to become the first to circle the globe in a hot air balloon. They took off from St. Louis, Missouri, rose to 24,000 feet, and started eastward across the Atlantic Ocean toward Africa. The prevailing winds carried the balloonists ...read more

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    Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

  • I Missed The Comeback

    Contributed by Gerald Albers on Oct 1, 2008
     | 1,974 views

    I Missed the Comeback On New Year's Day 1963, USC played Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl. The Wisconsin quarterback, Ron VanderKelen, was one of the all-time great college quarterbacks. I was fourteen years old at the time, and our family was gathered for New Year's Day celebrations. Pete Beathard of ...read more

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    Denomination: Independent/Bible

  • Desperate, The Foolish Bridesmaids Asked Of The ...

    Contributed by John Herrmann on Nov 7, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,725 views

    Desperate, the foolish bridesmaids asked of the others, for some of their oil. But the wise replied: “No! There will not be enough for you and for us. . Go yourselves and buy some from the dealers.” Their action seems almost selfish for Christians who are taught to share and share alike, to ...read more

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    Denomination: Lutheran

  • Payer Is The Strongest Form Of Abiding That There ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 12, 2008
     | 3,503 views

    Payer is the strongest form of abiding that there is. -- A retired teacher was giving her little nephew some help with his schools work. He was normally a good, attentive child, but on this occasion he could not fix his mind on his work. Suddenly he said, "Aunt Sally, may I kneel down and ask God ...read more

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  • Plymouth, England, December 1: Being Too Part...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 15, 2008
     | 1,285 views

    Plymouth, England, December 1: Being too particular about cleanliness can make you a lenient judge, says a strange but interesting British study. Dr. Simone Schnall, a psychologist at University of Plymouth, stated that people who tend to wash their hands before making judgments are more likely to ...read more

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    Denomination: Independent/Bible