In Sermon Illustrations: "Joke"

Marriage Jokes  PRO

Contributed by Rick Davis on Jun 11, 2003

MARRIAGE JOKES 1. Marriage made in Heaven — So is thunder in lightening!! 2. Love is a dream — Marriage is an alarm clock 3. A honeymoon is a Short Pause - between - I Do and You Better 4. Lady went to get a divorce— Lawyer: “Do you have ground?” Lady: “About 2 acres” Lawyer: “Do ...read more

Tags: Marriage General

Denomination: Baptist

Judgment Joke

Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Apr 28, 2010

JUDGMENT JOKE It happened that a fire broke out backstage in a theater. The clown came out to inform the public. They thought it was a jest and applauded. He repeated his warning; they shouted even louder. So I think the world will come to an end amid ...read more

Tags: Judgment

Denomination: Pentecostal

Thanksgiving Joke

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 20, 2019

A lady purchased a parrot whose previous owner had taught him profanity and decided that she would reform him. The parrot learned a number of Christian words and Bible verses to replace the cuss words. However, the owner caught him cussing one day and grabbed him and said, "I'll teach ...read more

Tags: Thanksgiving, Turkey, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Jokes And Potato Salad  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 22, 2005

JOKES AND POTATO SALAD Tony Campolo said, "If you ever start to feel proud, just remember that soon after your body has been lowered into the grave, your family & friends will ...read more

Scripture: Mark 9:33-37

Tags: Humility

A Paddy's Day Joke  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 9, 2003

A PADDY’S DAY JOKE Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What’s wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked. "Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said ...read more

Tags: Unconditional Love, Marriage General

Moses And The Bush Joke  PRO

Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Mar 30, 2009

MOSES AND THE BUSH JOKE We all know that our past President from TX is now a private citizen, back in his home state. I heard that recently George W. Bush was waiting in an airport lobby when he noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The ...read more

Tags: Anxiety

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Grace Story/Joke

Contributed by Bruce Blythe on Apr 13, 2021

There are not many stories/jokes that illustrate Grace (plenty of definitions of Grace though!) so I made this one up for my sermon on Romans 11 (Reciprocity No, Grace Yes). Hope people find it helpful. Blessings. Bruce A Jew, an Islamic and a Christian were drinking coffee on a ship. Then the ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 2:8-9

Tags: Grace Alone, By Grace We Are Saved, Reciprocity

Denomination: Baptist

Funny Tithing Joke!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 4, 2022

When two successful businessman went sailing, a freak storm wrecked their boat and left them marooned on a deserted island. By the third day, one of the men was pacing constantly. The other man reclined peacefully on the sand. "Aren't you afraid we are going to die?" cried the ...read more

Tags: Church, Giving, Stewardship, Finances, Pastors, Tithing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Trouble With Practical Jokes Is That Very ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007

The trouble with practical jokes is that very ...read more

Tags: Government

Super Stupid Easter Jokes  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 22, 2005

SUPER STUPID EASTER JOKES Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?" Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy." Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won’t give you a bruise." 7 Boy 2: "It will if it’s your big brother’s candy!" Q: What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 28:1-15

Tags: Easter Resurrection

Superstition Joke One Liner

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 31, 2020

. I think it is bad luck to believe in ...read more

Scripture: Acts 19:11-20

Tags: Luck, Occult, Magic, Suiperstition

Denomination: Independent/Bible

A Funny Thanksgiving Joke To Share!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 18, 2021

A FUNNY THANKSGIVING JOKE TO SHARE! A retiree in Florida phones his daughter in New Jersey and says, “Honey, I have bad news for you. Your mother and I have decided that 52 years of marriage is enough. We’re calling it quits and getting a divorce.” His daughter yells, “Are you crazy? What the ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introduction, Funny Stories, Thanksgiving, Humor, Jokes  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Best Tithing Joke Ever!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 31, 2022

BEST TITHING JOKE EVER! Two men were marooned on a deserted Island. One man paced back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself. The first man said to the second man, "Aren’t you afraid that we are about to die?" "No," said the ...read more

Tags: Giving, Stewardship, Pastors, Tithing

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Super Bowl Sunday Joke!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 6, 2023

Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl stadium, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby. "It was my husband's," the woman explained, "But he died." "I'm very sorry," said the man. Then he continued. "Yet, I'm really ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 5:22-23

Tags: Death, Sports, Humor, Goodness, Kindness, Super Bowl, Football, Fruit Of The Spirit, Funerals, Widows  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Worst Dad Joke Ever

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 17, 2023

I usually begin every one of my Sunday sermons with a funny story to get our congregation comfortable before I begin to dive in deeply to the Word of God. If you like dad jokes or puns (old name) and you want to make your congregation groan a little bit.........check this dad joke out! CHESS ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22, Galatians 5:22-23

Tags: Medicine, Dad Jokes, Happiness, Joy, Humor, Laughter  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Hilarious Marriage Joke To Share!!!!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 8, 2024

There’s a very funny story going around like a virus about a man who went to his doctor after weeks of serious symptoms. The doctor examined him carefully, then called the patient’s wife into his office. The doctor told her, "Your husband is suffering from a rare form of anemia. The bad ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:18-31

Tags: Death, Marriage, Husbands, Wives

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Treasure Hunting With Jesus ✞ Marks The Spot.

Contributed by Coz Von on Feb 11, 2016

John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved. Today’s hidden treasures are. 1. You ...read more

Scripture: John 3:16

Tags: Lost, Saved, Joke, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Shortest Distance Between Two Jokes Makes A ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007

The shortest distance between two jokes makes ...read more

Tags: Communication Speech

Joke] Insanity Is Heredity. You Can Get It ...  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Oct 25, 2002

[Joke] Insanity is heredity. You can get it ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-21

Tags: Commandments, Children, Hardship Of Life, Love

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Joke On The Management Of Cows Has Been ...  PRO

Contributed by Victor Yap on Jan 8, 2003

A joke on the management of cows has been circulating for many years under the subject “World Economics,?“World Politics,?or “World Ideologies? Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both, milks them, keeps the milk, and gives you a pint. Socialism: The government takes one of your cows ...read more

Tags: Political Freedom

Denomination: Independent/Bible