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10 Ways To Know Someone Is Leaving Your Church
By Brian Dodd on Dec 3, 2025
Churches lose people, but wise leaders spot warning signs early. This guide outlines practical indicators that someone is drifting and how to reconnect proactively.
10 Ways to Know Someone is Leaving Your Church
Every church has a back door, whether we like it or not. The question isn’t if people drift — it’s whether leaders recognize the signs early enough to pursue them with wisdom, humility, and care. Over the years I’ve watched patterns emerge in the lives of people who quietly slip away, and these warning signs have proven reliable. Paying attention to them helps us rebuild relationships, steady the flock, and strengthen our leadership culture. The key leadership question that must be asked is not “Are we going to lose people?” The reality is that you are.
Here are the warning signs that indicate a potential move toward the back door is underway. If you see the following items, you should proactively reconnect and rebuild the relationship:
- A decrease or complete loss in financial support. The last thing that comes is a person’s money. The first thing that goes is a person’s money.
- The wife’s body language. If you want to know if a man is happy, always look at his wife.
- Tardiness to responsibilities. This indicates a loss of passion.
- Minor items cause major frustrations. This indicates a lack of patience with the ministry.
- Complaining. This indicates broad-based frustration with the ministry.
- Excitement over another church’s vision. People naturally navigate toward a brighter tomorrow.
- Divorce. When a divorce takes place, one individual will often leave the church. Sadly, the other person finds it difficult to fit in with their “married friends” and often leaves to start over at a different congregation. Having the children firmly planted into the church is the key to retaining this relationship.
- Resignation of a volunteer position. This is the beginning of removing responsibilities and attachments.
- No connection to a small group. If a person cannot connect relationally, they will leave the church.
- A mega-church opens a satellite location in your community. This is funny…but true.
My desire for you is to build a strong leadership culture at your church. Use this list to help keep leaders who can help you advance the mission and vision of the church.
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