Why The Devil Takes Visa Series

Chuck Swindoll says this about Queen Vashti’s refusal to her husband’s abusive request:

“I…admire Queen Vashti. In the midst of an unsavory scene she was brave enough to say no to that which was blatantly wrong, and in resisting this insulting act of indignity, she took a stand against the greatest power in her universe. Good for her!

“Submission does not mean that a wife is a sexual pawn in the carnal desires of her husband. It was never God’s design that a wife submit to her husband’s evil desires. In King Ahasuerus’ case, this took the form of desiring to display her before those who would have nothing in mind but lust. What he asked was not submission; it was sexual slavery. And I applaud Queen Vashti for her courageous decision. Marriage does not give a husband the right or the license to fulfill his basest fantasies by using his wife as a sexual object.

“Having been in ministry now for more than thirty-five years, I’m virtually unshockable. But every once in a while I have to suck in my breath when I hear what some men demand of their wives, calling it submission. It is, rather, insulting and shameful. So a word of warning here: Be careful, men, what you ask of the woman God had given you. Be certain that it doesn’t assault her dignity as a person, or turn a precious human being, created in God’s image, into a sexual object for your own carnal gratification.” (Esther, p. 27)

Now back to the point about it being a mistake to borrow bitterness. Reading the reply of the king’s cabinet to his plea for advice you get the idea that these guys were insecure to say the least and bitter to boot.

16 Memucan answered the king and his nobles, “Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but also every noble and citizen throughout your empire. 17 Women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king. 18 Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did and will start treating their husbands the same way. There will be no end to their contempt and anger.

19 “So if it please the king, we suggest that you issue a written decree, a law of the Persians and Medes that cannot be revoked. It should order that Queen Vashti be forever banished from the presence of King Xerxes, and that the king should choose another queen more worthy than she. 20 When this decree is published throughout the king’s vast empire, husbands everywhere, whatever their rank, will receive proper respect from their wives!” 21 The king and his nobles thought this made good sense, so he followed Memucan’s counsel. 22 He sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province in its own script and language, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases.

That’s quite an overreaction! But the king falls for it because it is precisely what he was listening for!

Be careful about picking people to give you advice who are going to tell you what you want to hear. ESPECIALLY BE CAREFUL ABOUT LISTENING TO BITTER PEOPLE! What you need are people who are going to have enough integrity to tell you what you need to hear!