Why Do We Harbor Anger Series

Why We Harbor Anger Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous;but who is able to stand before envy? Most believers know it’s wrong to hold a grudge. Acknowledging that God alone has the right to avenge wrongs. They understand that the Bible teaches us to deal quickly with anger. So why do Christians often hang on to this destructive emotion?

Let’s look at some other verses on anger. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Proverbs 20:2 The fear of a king is as the roaring of a lion: whoso provoketh him to anger sinneth against his own soul. Proverbs 21:14 A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.

Proverbs 22:8 He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity: and the rod of his anger shall fail. Then again our text in Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?

I believe there are six basic reasons. Why believers fail to surrender their anger to God.

1. The Unwillingness To forgive can be the result of selfishness. When you are hurt! You become concerned primarily with yourself, your rights, & your feelings. You wait for the world to come to you & ask for forgiveness. After all, you think, it was the other person’s fault.

This is selfish, since you have the power to change. You choose not to make the first move.

You might be unwilling to forgive because of a previous attempt to do so. Sometime in the past, you acknowledged the hurt. You even admitted the “need” to forgive others. You may have even prayed, “I forgive so & so.” Perhaps you meant it sincerely. But are you still uncomfortable around those individuals?

Do you become tense in situations that remind you of them? If so, then it’s possible that your wound has not completely healed.

2.The Pride. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Those who are conceited have difficulty forgiving. They think, If I forgive, people will think I’m weak.

Harboring anger makes us feel as if we are hurting others. When in fact, we are destroying ourselves. The real problem is that when you & I set out to get even.

We assume a responsibility that has been given to Christ alone. He is the Judge!

The Bible is very clear on who is to get even. My friends it is not us for sure. Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. In time, those who have wounded us will pay the penalty for their sin Rom. 14:10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

We are called, not to take vengeance, but to forgive. Matthew 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times:but, Until seventy times seven.

3.They Refuse To forgive because they have low self-esteem. Often, without really understanding what is taking place? People attach their significance to the wrong they suffered.

I’ve known men & women. Who have lived most of their adult lives in response to mistreatment by an unfair boss.

They are constantly saying things like, “I wouldn’t be struggling if it were not for . . .” or I could have gone far if I had not lost my job with . . .”

The unfair circumstances become a point of reference for everything else in their lives. When this happens to people. They cannot afford to forgive. (This is what they think)

To deal with the hurt they have suffered. That would be to take away an essential part of their identity. They have come to rely on sympathy from others.

In return giving it up would mean no more excuses for their lack of diligence & discipline. Do you have a habit of bringing up a particular event in your life when you were treated unfairly? To know for sure, ask your close friends or your spouse. Without realizing it.

You may have allowed your identity to become defined by one painful circumstance. The experience the joy & freedom that is available to you in Christ. You must forgive those who have wronged you & move on.