Why We Harbor Anger Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous;but who is able to stand before envy? Most believers know it’s wrong to hold a grudge. Acknowledging that God alone has the right to avenge wrongs. They understand that the Bible teaches us to deal quickly with anger. So why do Christians often hang on to this destructive emotion?
Let’s look at some other verses on anger. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Proverbs 20:2 The fear of a king is as the roaring of a lion: whoso provoketh him to anger sinneth against his own soul. Proverbs 21:14 A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.
Proverbs 22:8 He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity: and the rod of his anger shall fail. Then again our text in Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?
I believe there are six basic reasons. Why believers fail to surrender their anger to God.
1. The Unwillingness To forgive can be the result of selfishness. When you are hurt! You become concerned primarily with yourself, your rights, & your feelings. You wait for the world to come to you & ask for forgiveness. After all, you think, it was the other person’s fault.
This is selfish, since you have the power to change. You choose not to make the first move.
You might be unwilling to forgive because of a previous attempt to do so. Sometime in the past, you acknowledged the hurt. You even admitted the “need” to forgive others. You may have even prayed, “I forgive so & so.” Perhaps you meant it sincerely. But are you still uncomfortable around those individuals?
Do you become tense in situations that remind you of them? If so, then it’s possible that your wound has not completely healed.
2.The Pride. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
Those who are conceited have difficulty forgiving. They think, If I forgive, people will think I’m weak.
Harboring anger makes us feel as if we are hurting others. When in fact, we are destroying ourselves. The real problem is that when you & I set out to get even.
We assume a responsibility that has been given to Christ alone. He is the Judge!
The Bible is very clear on who is to get even. My friends it is not us for sure. Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. In time, those who have wounded us will pay the penalty for their sin Rom. 14:10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
We are called, not to take vengeance, but to forgive. Matthew 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times:but, Until seventy times seven.
3.They Refuse To forgive because they have low self-esteem. Often, without really understanding what is taking place? People attach their significance to the wrong they suffered.
I’ve known men & women. Who have lived most of their adult lives in response to mistreatment by an unfair boss.
They are constantly saying things like, “I wouldn’t be struggling if it were not for . . .” or I could have gone far if I had not lost my job with . . .”
The unfair circumstances become a point of reference for everything else in their lives. When this happens to people. They cannot afford to forgive. (This is what they think)
To deal with the hurt they have suffered. That would be to take away an essential part of their identity. They have come to rely on sympathy from others.
In return giving it up would mean no more excuses for their lack of diligence & discipline. Do you have a habit of bringing up a particular event in your life when you were treated unfairly? To know for sure, ask your close friends or your spouse. Without realizing it.
You may have allowed your identity to become defined by one painful circumstance. The experience the joy & freedom that is available to you in Christ. You must forgive those who have wronged you & move on.
Jesus did that very thing at Calvary. They wrong the Son of God. Illegal trail, slab Him, & beat him without mercy. They pulled His bread by the hand full’s. They lied about Him, & they took false witness against Him. They beat Him with a cat of nine tails, Nailed Him to a cross. They mocked Him, & stripped Him naked before the entire world. They wagged their heads at Him, & gave Him vinegar to drink with gall when thirsty. They even stab in His side after he died. Yet Jesus said Father forgive them in Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. 5.It’s Too Painful Some people refuse to forgive because it is painful. Thinking about past wounds often brings back the original unpleasant emotions. Forgiveness can be especially difficult if the wrong hurt so deeply that the pain suffered was buried & forgotten.
This is especially true of those who were hurt as children. Physical or emotional abuse, incest, rape, severe beatings. The pain of catching a mate in an extramarital affair are extremely traumatic. Sometimes those incidents have all but been erased from memory.
Yet they are often the key to complete healing & freedom. If you live with events in your past that are agonizing to think about. We need to accept by faith that being set free is worth the pain. God wants to perform spiritual surgery to remove your bitterness & misery. It will hurt, but it will heal. Whatever scar may be left will be much easier to live with. Than the open wound you now bear.
(Remember a open wound never heals.) (It just gets worse & worse) 6. The Unknown It could be you may not know how to forgive. Maybe you are at the point of being able to say, “I am ready.” “Just tell me what to do.” You just need a little instruction on how to forgive.
Where Are You? Have you been wronged recently or in your past? Was your tendency to try to forget about it? Just to move on to something or somebody else?
Did you get into the habit of burying some painful emotion? That seemed to raise its ugly head time & time again? Did you find yourself staying away from certain people or types of people?
If you answered yes to any of these questions. Chances are there are some people you need to forgive. You may be harboring an unforgiving spirit.
Don’t allow pride & selfishness to get in the way. Please don’t let fear of the ensuing pain stop you.
You may be on the verge of an awesome miracle in your life. Matthew 5:22-24 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
The altar is now open for business. As the music plays please come. Salvation, join, or just to spend time with the Lord. As the Bible says in Revelation 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
(A promise from the Lord to all of us) Please come now!
