When Two Remain Two: Marriage To An Unbeliever Series

Marriage is the story of our lives. It is the story of grandpa’s love for grandma for these past fifty years. It’s the backdrop of the world our children are born. It is the fabric of so many of our families where dad and mom set up a home. Their love is constant. Their love is normalcy.

Romantic love is compelling. It is intoxicating. It remains one of the most powerful experiences any human encounters. When couples are under its sway, your deepest desire is that this feeling will last forever. And especially in the South, the church plays a big part in marriage. Many, if not most, of your marriages begin here inside the church building. Perhaps you first met your spouse in a church like I did.

“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife” (1 Corinthians 7:12-16)?

1. Jesus Impacts Your Marriage

When two sinners unite in a life-long union, there will be tension. At some point one or both of you will be selfish. At some time, you will speak unkindly to one another. Despite this, if one of the married partners is a Christian, then your marriage will be radically different. If you are not careful when examining today’s passage, you’ll overlook this for all the talk about divorce. Don’t miss this point. Paul is addressing the situation where two unbelievers had married and one had subsequently converted to Christianity. And there is an underlying assumption to today’s text. When a person invites Jesus Christ into their lives, Jesus does more than simply forgive you of your sins. When Jesus Christ enters into a person, the person’s nature is changed. When a person encounters the love of God and is captured by His love, then they are given new life …NEW LIFE.

A Myth of Christianity

The myth is where God takes a divine eraser to your sins so you enter heaven after you die. But the person is essentially the same. For example, when Steve becomes a Christian, he still has the same intense love of Nascar (it’s all that ever talks about)… the same love for violent, sexually provocative movies, and he still hates Mondays. Steve is forgiven and he may go to heaven when he dies, but the guy next to Steve in the cubicle on weekdays, senses no change. But this is a myth. Every Southern Christian you see does not always pass for a biblical Christian. When your daughter’s killer is set free by a bribe to the judge, don’t call that justice. It’s anything but justice. When you are “born again” and you fail to be obedient to Christ, don’t call this Christianity. It’s anything but Christianity.

Let me show you the cause and effects of Christianity…

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God” (1 John 5:3-5)?

Notice three links used to describe a believer and then we’ll see how these three things affect a marriage. The first two links are effects while the third link is the cause. First Link… “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3). When a person experiences the love of God, they obey Christ joyfully. They do not obey Him grudgingly. They obey Him willingly.

Second Link… “For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. ” (1 John 5:4a). The world doesn’t have the same allurement for Christians. What the Bible calls the world is an old value system that is tuned to Satan’s value system.

When I took three years of piano as a child, my mother placed a metronome on top of the piano. A Metronome is a device that produces a regular beat. Much like the rhythm of your heart. When a person is converted, the world’s allurement isn’t as attractive to them as it once was. The desires and the heart of a Christian beat new a metronome. This is why I say that what the South oftentimes calls a Christian is not really a Christian. When a person covets what the world covets… When a person enjoys God-ignoring entertainment just as the world would… it is a profound mistake to call this person a Christian. It is not always easy to see the line between a Christian and a non-Christian. Yet, God sees the line with 20/20 vision. A Christian is a person who hears and walks to a different beat.