When Two Become One Series

And Adam’s response is to say, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Probably not words that made Eve swoon, but none the less they portray an important truth. What’s Adam doing? He’s acknowledging that, “we are a part of each other. We are made for each other. We complement one another. We share the same essence if you will.”

Fast forward, now, to Ephesians 5 and those verses that were read for us just before the message today. “In this same way,” Paul writes, “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. [Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. It begins to put it in perspective for us, right?] He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:28-31)

Earlier this week I posted a question on Facebook and I asked everyone what they thought the purpose of marriage was. I got a variety of responses back and I want to share a few of them with you. One of our friends responded by saying that the purpose of marriage was to “always have somebody to kill spiders and cook on the bbq!” I think she had her husband in mind for both those roles but in our house it would be Heather killing the spiders and me doing the bbqing because I can’t stand spiders and Heather has a love / hate relationship with bbq’s! Another responded by saying that “Marriage is a customized, interpersonal support system based on love. Together is better than alone.” Sounds kind of cold but overall maybe not a bad definition. Someone else said the purpose of marriage is to “have a partner to share your life with.” And perhaps there is some truth in each of those things.

But understand this: For Adam, no suitable helper was found. In Eve, God had provided him with a help mate – someone to complement him, someone for him to love and care for. And it’s only after the creation of Eve that Scripture tells us that God looked at all He had made and saw that it was not just good, but very good. (Genesis 1:31)

Scripture also says that these two people were to become one flesh. And just so we’re on the same page here, that one flesh idea goes far beyond the mere physical act of sex. That word that is translated as “one” is the same used to describe God in Deuteronomy 6:4 where we read these words: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.” (Deuteronomy 6:4, NIV) We know that God exists as three-in-one – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It’s difficult to wrap our minds around. Yet, while they are each distinct, the testimony of Scripture is that they are also one.

In a similar way when husband and wife become one it is more than just one through the act of sex. They are to complement each other and to be one in purpose, in passion and in vision just as Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one in purpose, passion and vision. That’s why your choice of a spouse is so terribly important. Adam could look at Eve and say, “You’re the only woman for me!” because she was the only woman for him! It doesn’t take anything away from their marriage though to say today, that everyone else, has choices. You can choose whom you will marry. This is why we’re commanded in Scripture to “not be yoked together with unbelievers.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)