When Two Become One - Genesis 2:15-25 - April 15, 2012
Series: After the Honeymoon – The Mystery of Marriage #1
Show video: “Vision for Marriage Ministry.”
We are free to change the world – what a great song! This morning we begin a new sermon series entitled, “After the Honeymoon” which we hope will do just that – to change, if not the entire world, then at least, your world. For marriages that are good to make them great. For marriages that are struggling to give them a new hope. For marriages that are hurting to find healing. For marriages that are yet to be, to give to them a firm foundation on which to build. There will be something in this series for everyone of us whether we are married, or single, because we are going to be looking at marriage by the book – God’s book – the Bible - and we know that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16–17, NIV) You may not be married, you may not ever desire to marry, but guaranteed you know married people, and you probably know those who are struggling in their marriages, or who are dating and considering that next step and wondering if marriage is really the right way to go, or if marriage is even a necessary expression of their love for someone else. The things we talk about in this series will help you speak God’s truth about marriage into a world that, in many ways, has turned its back, on this gift from God.
My desire is that this series of messages look a little different than our usual series here at Parkside. What I am hoping to see is a number of you getting involved in sharing bits and pieces of your journey. So we’re going to begin asking you if you would share what you’ve learned, what you’ve struggled with, what you’ve overcome in your marriage. And the result is going to be a series of semi-impromptu interviews where you are giving us a glimpse into your life. Now I don’t want you to panic – we’re not going to force anyone to share. You’re not going to show up here some Sunday morning and suddenly find yourself thrust into the spotlight. What we’re going to do is to simply invite you – ahead of time – to share from your heart and to answer a few questions for us.
But even if we never get you up here to share, we still want to hear from you. In your bulletins you will find inserts that say, “Pastor, could you talk about this ….” And then there’s a space for you to share your thoughts. I want to know what questions, concerns, or issues that you’re hoping to see addressed at some point during this series. You can fill those out and hand them to me, or put them in my mailbox in the foyer, or slip them under the door of my office if you want to. You can e-mail them, snail mail them, post them on Facebook – it doesn’t matter – but I want to hear from you because I want this series to be as practical, and as relevant, as possible and that means I need to know what’s on your mind.
Now that being said, we do have a couple here with us this morning who has agreed to help us out today. I’m going to ask them to come and join me here at the front and have a seat. Now, I’m sure that most of you will know who they are, but just in case there are some here today who have not yet met them, I’m going to ask them introduce themselves, briefly tell us how they met, and how long they have been married. [Have couples introduce themselves.]
Alright, Matthew and Amy, I want to thank you in advance for being willing to come up and participate this morning. This is not an easy place to be because being up front and sharing from your own life makes you vulnerable. And you’ve agreed to do that. And that’s great because this is how we will learn together, and grow together in God’s house and as His people. The truth is that none of us have all the answers. We are on a journey together and as you share this morning you are representing others in this congregation, who we may not hear from during the course of this series, but whose stories are similar, in some way, to yours.
And just so everyone here knows, they don’t know what questions I am going to ask them. So this isn’t prepared, it isn’t scripted, we don’t know exactly where it’s going to go – it’s all just very candid. So let’s get started – now, Matthew and Amy, I was there for a portion of your journey and I was honored to have been able to perform your wedding ceremony …
1. But Matthew, I want you to think back to that moment that you proposed to Amy. That’s a big step to take … what lead you to decide that she was the one you wanted to share your life with?
2. Amy, accepting a marriage proposal is a pretty big deal as well. Why did you say, “Yes?” What made up your mind that Matthew was the man for you?
3. Thinking back to before your wedding, what expectations did you have for your marriage? What did you think it was going to be like? Did all those expectations pan out?
4. Do you feel you were prepared for your wedding day?
5. How about for all the days since that day? Any surprises in marriage?
6. When did the reality of marriage set in for you?
7. What advice would you give to someone about to get married?
Thanks for being willing to be up here and answer my questions! Let me pray for you and then you can go back to your seats. Pray for their marriages …
Folks, I think a lot of us could relate to what was just shared with us. We all had expectations going into marriage – some will have been realized and some will have been changed with the passage of time. I imagine most of us will admit that no matter how prepared we felt for the wedding day, that it’s after the honeymoon is over, that the reality of marriage kicks in and we realize just how much growing together there is to do. Along with that we will confess that as great as marriage often is, it is also requires a lot more hard work to keep that marriage alive and well, then we initially thought it would. And there are some great resources out there – videos and books and seminars – that are worth checking out to help you build into your own marriage, but there is one book in particular that we are going to be using during this series, and that is the Bible. And we’re going to go to the Bible because marriage has always been God’s idea. It’s not an invention, nor a custom of man as some people would teach, but it’s been God’s idea right from the very beginning.
Let’s open our Bibles to the book of Genesis. Genesis chapter 2, beginning in verse 15. And what we’re going to see is that God’s word begins with a wedding. More than that, if we went to the Gospels we would discover that Jesus’ first miracle took place at a wedding, and that the word of God, in the last book of the Bible, the book of Revelation, also concludes with a wedding. Between each of those bookmarks, God’s word has a great deal to say to us about marriage; it’s purpose, what it’s all about; and how to make it the very best it can possibly be and over the next few weeks we’re going to take an in-depth look at what God’s word teaches us about all these things. For today though, let’s just start with what we read in Genesis chapter 2, beginning in verse 15. This is a foundational passage of Scripture when it comes to understanding what marriage is all about. This is what we read …
“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:15–25, NIV)
The testimony of God is that “it is not good for man to be alone.” And if you’ve ever seen a bachelor pad you can understand why! But let’s put that verse in context so we can understand the significance of that statement. This first marriage takes place in the midst of God’s brand new creation. God has been at work creating all things and after everything He has made the words spoken are “and God saw that it was good.” So God forms the earth, and it is good. He fashions the seas, and they are good. He creates all the vegetation and it too is good. He made the sun, moon and starts and they are good. God creates all the creatures of the sea, and all the birds of the air, and we’re told that it was good. God makes all the animals, and they too are good. God creates man and He says … nothing of the sort. Unlike everything else we are not told that it is good – at least not right away. Instead we get these words that “it is not good for man to be alone.” God’s words. God’s testimony.
Folks, Adam was missing something. There was something missing, or more appropriately, someone, was missing from his life. God brought all the animals that He had created and He paraded them before Adam so that Adam could name them. Every one of those creatures had another of its kind by its side. Two giraffes, one male, one female. Two lions, one male and one female. Two mosquitoes, one male and one female … and on and on it went. Every creature had another of its kind – every creature that is except for one – except for man. And God allows Adam to see that in all creation there is not another of his kind. Verse 20 says that “for Adam no suitable helper was found.”
And don’t stumble on that word “helper.” People tend to see that word and they think that it makes women lesser in some way. Not so at all. Genesis 1 tells us that men and women are both created in the image of God. (Genesis 1:27) And that word, “helper,” is the same word used of God in the psalms to describe His relationship with Israel. God is the helper of Israel. The word actually means, “corresponding to.” God is the one who “corresponds to,” is “connected to,” Israel in the deepest of senses. They are His people, He is their God, and He will dwell in their midst. And so it is that man and woman correspond to one another in this deepest of senses as well. God did not make for Adam, another man. It wasn’t “Adam and Steve,” it was “Adam and Eve.” God’s intention is that this deepest of connections, this most intimate of relationships, is only going to be found between man and woman. Marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman for life. Any other expression of it that society might come up with is not in line with God’s heart for what marriage is all about.
But here’s a question to consider: Why did God allow Adam, to see that in all creation, there was not a single suitable companion for him? … Interesting question, isn’t it? Men, I don’t know about you, but I think that if I had been in Adam’s position that I would have found that to be incredibly depressing! Thousands of creatures two by two and there is not a one of them that is anything remotely like me. No one for me to share life with, to laugh with, no one who can understand what it means to be human.
But this is where we get a glimpse of God’s heart. Verse 18 … “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” That’s the goodness of God. Seeing the need, understanding that ultimately it will not be good for Adam to be alone, God creates for him a suitable, corresponding, companion. And it’s interesting that, as far as we can tell, no other creation was made in quite the same way as Eve. We have no record that any other part of creation was made by taking a piece from it’s counterpart. No record that God caused the tiger to fall into a deep sleep and then took a rib and made another tiger. Only when it comes to Adam and Eve do we find this intimate connection between the two.
God takes from man, creates woman, then Scripture says that God brought her to the man. Ladies, God walks the first woman down the aisle if you will! He gives the first bride in marriage! And Adam calls her “woman.” Comedian Bill Cosby suggests that woman got her name when Adam, seeing Eve for the first time, cries out, “Whoa Man!” In other words, “God, you did some fine work here!” And after staring at things like ant-eaters, possums and wart hogs, for hours on end as he named them, who could blame Adam if he had blurted out those words upon seeing Eve! Because the truth is men, we’ve all done that too, haven’t we? I remember watching Heather come down the aisle of that church and I could not believe that God had been so good to me as to bring Heather, this beautiful vision, into my life to share everything that God has meant for marriage to be.
And Adam’s response is to say, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Probably not words that made Eve swoon, but none the less they portray an important truth. What’s Adam doing? He’s acknowledging that, “we are a part of each other. We are made for each other. We complement one another. We share the same essence if you will.”
Fast forward, now, to Ephesians 5 and those verses that were read for us just before the message today. “In this same way,” Paul writes, “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. [Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. It begins to put it in perspective for us, right?] He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:28-31)
Earlier this week I posted a question on Facebook and I asked everyone what they thought the purpose of marriage was. I got a variety of responses back and I want to share a few of them with you. One of our friends responded by saying that the purpose of marriage was to “always have somebody to kill spiders and cook on the bbq!” I think she had her husband in mind for both those roles but in our house it would be Heather killing the spiders and me doing the bbqing because I can’t stand spiders and Heather has a love / hate relationship with bbq’s! Another responded by saying that “Marriage is a customized, interpersonal support system based on love. Together is better than alone.” Sounds kind of cold but overall maybe not a bad definition. Someone else said the purpose of marriage is to “have a partner to share your life with.” And perhaps there is some truth in each of those things.
But understand this: For Adam, no suitable helper was found. In Eve, God had provided him with a help mate – someone to complement him, someone for him to love and care for. And it’s only after the creation of Eve that Scripture tells us that God looked at all He had made and saw that it was not just good, but very good. (Genesis 1:31)
Scripture also says that these two people were to become one flesh. And just so we’re on the same page here, that one flesh idea goes far beyond the mere physical act of sex. That word that is translated as “one” is the same used to describe God in Deuteronomy 6:4 where we read these words: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.” (Deuteronomy 6:4, NIV) We know that God exists as three-in-one – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It’s difficult to wrap our minds around. Yet, while they are each distinct, the testimony of Scripture is that they are also one.
In a similar way when husband and wife become one it is more than just one through the act of sex. They are to complement each other and to be one in purpose, in passion and in vision just as Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one in purpose, passion and vision. That’s why your choice of a spouse is so terribly important. Adam could look at Eve and say, “You’re the only woman for me!” because she was the only woman for him! It doesn’t take anything away from their marriage though to say today, that everyone else, has choices. You can choose whom you will marry. This is why we’re commanded in Scripture to “not be yoked together with unbelievers.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
How can a Christian possibly be one, as God means for us to be one in purpose, passion and vision, with their spouse, if the very foundational beliefs upon which they are going to build their lives, are not one and the same? For a Christian to marry an unbeliever is to guarantee that they will not share that same passion, purpose and vision in life because they are approaching life with two completely different understandings of what life, and even marriage, is all about.
And the truth is that the world cannot know, we cannot know, the greatness and glory of marriage without having learned it from God because marriage is God’s idea. It is a gift from God and he has intended it to be this rich, intimate, amazing relationship that is shared between a man and a woman. He has designed marriage to be a picture – a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church. That’s what Paul is getting at in those verses in Ephesians. This is the profound mystery he’s referring to. Therefore we can say that the primary purpose of marriage is for the glory of God.
God is glorified, in our marriages, through the processes of transformation and proclamation.
On the celebration for their 50th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of marriage. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room.
Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you stayed single." We laugh but marriage is a process of transformation as God uses the intimacy of that relationship to make us more Christ-like. But marriage is also proclamation as we lay down our lives for one another, forgive one another, and seek God’s best hand in hand. We’ll talk more about those things in the weeks to come but I just wanted you to catch a glimpse of the wonder, the power, and the purpose of marriage so that you can understand why marriage is under attack.
Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife. Genesis 2:25 tells us that Adam and Eve were both naked and they felt no shame.
Genesis 3:1, which is the very next verse, tells us that Satan enters into the picture and begins to create problems for Adam and Eve. That’s what he does. Jesus tells us that Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10) And that’s what he longs to do with our marriages. And the result for Adam and Eve? They suddenly realized they were naked and they were ashamed. They tried to hide from God. They began laying blame everywhere but where it truly belonged.
This is what Satan attempts to do in our marriages – to bring, division, and heartache and trouble so that the transformation and the proclamation stops and God no longer is glorified. Usually this happens after the honeymoon is over and a couple has settled down to the reality of day to day life together. Satan tries to get a foot in the door to bring division and heartache. And we need to talk more about that in the weeks to come as well but our time is gone. Let me leave you with this thought. Yes, Jesus says that Satan comes only to steal, kill and destroy – and we all know the pain of that to greater or lesser degrees, but Jesus’ very next words are a wonderful encouragement to us as He says, but, “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) Whether your marriage is good, whether it is troubled, whether it is holding on by just a thread, know that Jesus has come bringing transformation and renewal that you may have life and have it to the full and that includes in your marriage as well!
Let’s pray ….
