When Two Become One: The Permanency Of Marriage Series

Few who have experienced a divorce would disagree with Margaret Atwood: “A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.” Few issues hit as close to home as a divorce. Most of you have been affected in some way by divorce. Baptists have the highest divorce rate of any Christian denomination and are more likely to obtain a divorce than atheists and agnostics. While 25% of American adults have been divorced at least once, 29% of Baptists have experienced divorce. There is at least two ways our church can love on those who are divorced.

1. Is to stand by them as they grieve and point them to the forgiveness in Christ.

2. The second way to love them is to communicate a hatred for divorce.

Our church exists to fly high the banner of the permanency of marriage. We want to push for sturdy marriages throughout the River Valley.

I mention two resources for marriages quickly: Let’s Get Real on April 15-16 and Paul Tripp’s What Did You Expect?

“Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:6-11).

Let’s get right to work…

1. To Singles

“Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:6-9).

Before there is any discussion about marriage, Paul has a word about singleness. Paul is responding to questions through this chapter. The word “unmarried” in verse seven is probably open. It includes those who are widowed and never married. Singles do not have to ride on the back of bus.

Marriage is not mandatory. In fact, all marriages are temporary. Marriages exist as a temporary blessing for this age. But Jesus says in the age to come, they will not exist (Matthew 22:23-30). The church will exist in the age to come. The church is the forever family. This family does not grow by sexual intercourse and women eventually giving birth but through the Gospel. The church grows by a person expressing faith in Jesus Christ.

Yet, to remain unmarried in this age, you need to be uniquely gifted. To remain single, you need to be graced with the gift of self-control. You need to be gifted with contented celibacy. “To burn with passion” is self-explaining picture. It means not to be consumed with uncontrollable desire. Sexual sin is taken very serious throughout Scripture. Paul tells us there is advantage to singleness in verse eight: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8). Singleness is not for keeping your options open. Lifelong Singleness is for keeping your options exclusively tied to Jesus.

2. To the Married

“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

Paul is dealing with several scenarios of marital difficulties throughout this chapter. In verses ten and eleven, the subject is marriage where both the husband and wife are believers. In verse twelve through sixteen, the subject is marriage between a believer and a non-believer. We’ll discuss this in detail next week. And in verses seventeen through twenty-four, Paul details the principles that are foundational to his martial advice and commands. We’ll examine these words in two weeks (March 6).

Today our focus verses ten and eleven. Verses eight and nine contrasts with verses ten and eleven. Paul signals the change in tone by the words, “I give this charge” in verse ten. These words are used elsewhere as in other writings in Paul’s day as a military command. Whereas his words to the unmarried were words of prudence and wisdom, his words to the married are a command. It’s a change of tone and it recalls his tone from chapters five and six where he discussed incest, lawsuits, and prostitution. Divorce is a moral question. And Paul is uncompromising.