Third Rail: Sex Series

There are several iconic contemporary proverbs that swirl around us. One of the most familiar may be, “don't talk about religion, politics or sex in polite company” or slightly modified for pastors, “don't talk about religion, politics or sex on Sunday morning if you want to keep your job.” While it's a sad statement on the openness and authenticity of today's American church, the statement is based on some uncomfortable truths.

First, we don't want to talk about religion because it exposes our lack of knowledge of our own faith, other faiths and even our ignorance and prejudices towards others.

Second, we don’t talk about politics because we’re afraid of the repercussions from the state as well as our friends who think differently than us.

Finally, we don’t talk about sex or relationships because it dredges up a lot of painful memories for folks in our culture where commitment and covenant are words that no longer mean much.

With that being said, we at The Center have opened the box of uncomfortableness because we really believe in becoming mature, fully prepared followers of Jesus.

The first week of this Third Rail series, Charlie Brill taught us how to reach people from different religious backgrounds. Last week, we talked about how politics and religion are uncomfortably intertwined. This week, I’d like for us to touch the third rail of sex and relationships.

Many people think they know what the Bible teaches about sexuality. Some believers believe the Bible teaches that sex is only for procreation and that masturbation, abortion, and contraception are wrong. Others assume the bible is hopelessly patriarchal and should be disregarded completely on the issue of sex, when in actuality the bible emphasizes mutuality and equality. The truth is the Bible provides us a challenge to interpret these issues through the larger issue of what it means to be made in the image of God.

If we go to the book itself, we discover that the Old Testament shares God’s condemnation for certain aspects of sex. For example:

Exposing oneself (2 Sam 6:20);

Adultery (Lev 18:20);

Grooming of young person (Exod 22:16);

Beastality (Lev 18:23);

Homosexuality (Lev 18:22 and 20:13);

Incest (Lev 18:6-18; Deut 27:20, 22);

Prostitution (Deut 23:17, 18);

Sex with a slave (Lev 19:20) and the list goes on

The bible tends to avoid direct reference to the sex organs and to issues connected with sex. It prefers generalities and euphemisms. The bible uses phrases like “becoming one flesh,” “Lying with one another” and “knowing” to describe the more intimate aspects of sex. It is also clear what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to human relations. Simply put, sexual unions were never to be experienced outside a committed covenantal marriage relationship between a man and woman.

Now, don’t think the Jews and early Christians were prudes. There are thirty-five sexually themed stories in the book of Genesis alone. You might be surprised to learn that in the First Letter to Corinthians, Paul addresses seventeen of the thirty-seven topics that should be addressed in any comprehensive sexuality curriculum.

The bible even has an entire book of erotic literature. How many of you have read the full book of Song of Solomon? If you have, you will know that it’s the bible's version of erotic love poetry – filled with passion. A quick reading of just one small part will make the point. Think of me as a shorter version of Dr. Phil and take a listen:

“My beloved is like a gazelle or young stag. Look, there he stands behind our wall, gazing in at the windows, looking through the lattice. My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past, the rain is gone.” (Song of Solomon 2:9 – 11)

The term sex, as such, was not used by Christ. However, He dealt with several problems which were related to sex. Jesus condemned adultery, fornication and lust, both outwardly (Matt 15:19, 20) and inwardly (Matt 5:27-32). He made reference to eunuchs either by natural or human causes for the kingdom of heaven’s sake (Matt 19:12). Jesus forgave the woman taken in the act of adultery (John 8:1-11) and frequently referred to virgins and marriage in His parables. In general, His teachings concerning sex and related topics were used to highlight the bigger idea of redemptive truth. By redemptive truth, I mean:

Truth, not merely to enlighten the intellect, and to discipline the mental faculties, but to raise the human soul from spiritual ignorance to intelligence, from spiritual bondage to liberty, from selfishness to benevolence, from materialism to spirituality, from the "prince of darkness" to the true and living God.

There is a long tradition of Christian mystics, like St. Teresa of Avila, whose prayers mimic the language that we use to describe a lover. There are strong connections between our souls' need for God and the physical side of our relationships. I think it's due to our inability to adequately express our longing for the fulfillment that comes from a connection to God.