The Stepfather Series

Several years ago, a 3rd grader (Danny Dutton, age 8) was given a homework assignment – where he was asked to “Explain God.” And these were some of the things he wrote: “You should always go to Church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there’s anybody you want to make happy… it’s God. Don’t skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. Cause that’s wrong! And, besides, the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until noon anyway. If you don’t believe in God (besides being an atheist) you will be very lonely, because your parents can’t go everywhere with you, like to camp… but God can. It is good to know He’s around you when you’re scared in the dark or when you can’t swim very good and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids. One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn’t have to take up His valuable time teaching them to walk and talk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.” (Brian Mavis)

Now, the last part of that boy’s homework caught my attention. He said that mothers AND fathers have a role in raising their kids. Apparently, that kind of thinking doesn’t always occur to people. I mean - there’s an old proverb that says “God could not be everywhere, so he made MOTHERS.” The proverb doesn’t say Mothers AND Fathers - it just focuses on moms. Why? Because women generally spend so much more time raising the children than men do - thus they are considered the major influence in their lives.

This is especially evident when it comes to Father’s Day. Last year (2024), Verizon indicated that more people called their moms on Mother's Day than called their dads on Father’s Day, and the callers spent significantly more time on the phone with their mothers than they did with their dads.

Back in the 1990s, a researcher noted that – on both Mother's Day and Father's Day - phone calls were a popular way for people to show their love for their parents. But even back then, Mother's Day traditionally saw a higher volume of phone calls than Father's Day. In addition, (back then you had to pay for long distance calls) Father's Day was known for having more collect calls. DAD HAD TO PAY.

Mother's Day is a joyous occasion, brimming with flowers and jewelry and breakfasts-in-bed, while Father's Day can seem to be tacked on—kind of like a participation trophy. But today we’re going to focus on a particular Bible father - literally, a stepfather named Joseph - who got more than a participation trophy for his part in this story. Joseph was chosen to be the step-father of Jesus, BY GOD. And God chose him because of the kind of man that he was.

We’re told that Mary was “betrothed to Joseph.” Being betrothed WAS MORE than just an marriage engagement we do today. In ancient Jewish culture, betrothal was a binding commitment that signified that the couple were legally married to each other… but the final marriage ceremony would happen later.

So Joseph and Mary are “technically” married, but they haven’t shared their wedding bed yet. And is where the story gets a little ticklish.

Matthew 1:18 tells us that “the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, BEFORE THEY CAME TOGETHER, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.” Now, Joseph didn’t know that. He didn’t realize her child was “from the Holy Spirit,” all he knew was that he and Mary are “legally married”, and now Mary is pregnant… and Joseph KNOWS it’s NOT his kid! And now, Joseph has a problem.

According to the Mosaic law, Mary should have been stoned to death. But, once the Romans took over Israel they couldn’t do that anymore. Rome abolished the death penalties of Mosaic Law and so now the only option was divorce. (R. T. France, The Gospel of Matthew, NICNT (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2007), 51.)

Now, if Joseph had been like other men of his day he could have made a public spectacle of Mary; he could have “put her to shame”; he could have put her on trial for adultery because that’s what she deserved! But we’re told that: because Joseph was “a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, (he) resolved to divorce her quietly.” Matthew 1:19

You see, this is one of the reasons God chose Joseph to be Jesus’ step-father. He was A JUST MAN! How do we know he was a just man? Because Matthew tells us it was because he didn’t want to hurt Mary he didn’t want to put her to shame. Bear in mind, as far as Joseph knew, Mary HAD committed adultery. SHE HAD BETRAYED HIM! If Joseph had been like a lot of guys he would have sought revenge; he would have sought to embarrass her publicly. Because that’s what she deserved. SHE had embarrassed HIM.