Several years ago, a 3rd grader (Danny Dutton, age 8) was given a homework assignment – where he was asked to “Explain God.” And these were some of the things he wrote: “You should always go to Church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there’s anybody you want to make happy… it’s God. Don’t skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. Cause that’s wrong! And, besides, the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until noon anyway. If you don’t believe in God (besides being an atheist) you will be very lonely, because your parents can’t go everywhere with you, like to camp… but God can. It is good to know He’s around you when you’re scared in the dark or when you can’t swim very good and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids. One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn’t have to take up His valuable time teaching them to walk and talk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.” (Brian Mavis)
Now, the last part of that boy’s homework caught my attention. He said that mothers AND fathers have a role in raising their kids. Apparently, that kind of thinking doesn’t always occur to people. I mean - there’s an old proverb that says “God could not be everywhere, so he made MOTHERS.” The proverb doesn’t say Mothers AND Fathers - it just focuses on moms. Why? Because women generally spend so much more time raising the children than men do - thus they are considered the major influence in their lives.
This is especially evident when it comes to Father’s Day. Last year (2024), Verizon indicated that more people called their moms on Mother's Day than called their dads on Father’s Day, and the callers spent significantly more time on the phone with their mothers than they did with their dads.
Back in the 1990s, a researcher noted that – on both Mother's Day and Father's Day - phone calls were a popular way for people to show their love for their parents. But even back then, Mother's Day traditionally saw a higher volume of phone calls than Father's Day. In addition, (back then you had to pay for long distance calls) Father's Day was known for having more collect calls. DAD HAD TO PAY.
Mother's Day is a joyous occasion, brimming with flowers and jewelry and breakfasts-in-bed, while Father's Day can seem to be tacked on—kind of like a participation trophy. But today we’re going to focus on a particular Bible father - literally, a stepfather named Joseph - who got more than a participation trophy for his part in this story. Joseph was chosen to be the step-father of Jesus, BY GOD. And God chose him because of the kind of man that he was.
We’re told that Mary was “betrothed to Joseph.” Being betrothed WAS MORE than just an marriage engagement we do today. In ancient Jewish culture, betrothal was a binding commitment that signified that the couple were legally married to each other… but the final marriage ceremony would happen later.
So Joseph and Mary are “technically” married, but they haven’t shared their wedding bed yet. And is where the story gets a little ticklish.
Matthew 1:18 tells us that “the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, BEFORE THEY CAME TOGETHER, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.” Now, Joseph didn’t know that. He didn’t realize her child was “from the Holy Spirit,” all he knew was that he and Mary are “legally married”, and now Mary is pregnant… and Joseph KNOWS it’s NOT his kid! And now, Joseph has a problem.
According to the Mosaic law, Mary should have been stoned to death. But, once the Romans took over Israel they couldn’t do that anymore. Rome abolished the death penalties of Mosaic Law and so now the only option was divorce. (R. T. France, The Gospel of Matthew, NICNT (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2007), 51.)
Now, if Joseph had been like other men of his day he could have made a public spectacle of Mary; he could have “put her to shame”; he could have put her on trial for adultery because that’s what she deserved! But we’re told that: because Joseph was “a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, (he) resolved to divorce her quietly.” Matthew 1:19
You see, this is one of the reasons God chose Joseph to be Jesus’ step-father. He was A JUST MAN! How do we know he was a just man? Because Matthew tells us it was because he didn’t want to hurt Mary he didn’t want to put her to shame. Bear in mind, as far as Joseph knew, Mary HAD committed adultery. SHE HAD BETRAYED HIM! If Joseph had been like a lot of guys he would have sought revenge; he would have sought to embarrass her publicly. Because that’s what she deserved. SHE had embarrassed HIM.
But Joseph wasn’t out for revenge, and he wasn’t out to hurt Mary. Why not? Because he was a JUST MAN, and God tells us that just men don’t seek revenge. In Romans 12:19 we read “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
If you are a father/ a stepfather/ a grandfather or an uncle, or you are a male role model for any young person you must not seek vengeance - especially against a family member that you think has offended you. You’ll end up being the wrong kind of role model for young folks because you will have taken matters into your own hands, and that is not what a Christian man should do.
So God chose Joseph because was a JUST MAN. But God also chose Joseph because he was an OBEDIENT man. One person noted that when Joseph and Mary were betrothed, (before they came together as husband and wife) Joseph discovered that Mary was pregnant. And, in a dream the angel of the Lord told him that Mary was pregnant because of the Holy Spirit, and that Joseph should take her as wife. What did Joseph do? He Obeyed.
The angel told Joseph that Mary would “bear a son, and he was to call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." Matthew 1:21… And what did Joseph do? He Obeyed.
Luke 2:1 tells us that “in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. And what did Joseph do? Joseph Obeyed. He went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David.” Luke 2:4
God’s law had decreed that (on the 8th day) a boy child was to be brought to the temple and be circumcised. And what did Joseph do? He Obeyed.
When Jesus’ life was threatened by Herod, the voice from heaven told him to take Jesus and Mary to Egypt (2:13) And what did Joseph do? Joseph Obeyed.
After some time in Egypt the voice from heaven told Joseph to return to Israel. Herod was dead, no longer a threat to Jesus. And what did Joseph do? He obeyed.
But Herod’s son was now ruler in Judea and he was a very cruel man. Therefore, the heavenly voice once more directed Joseph to go, not to Bethlehem, but rather to Nazareth (Matthew 2:23; Luke 2:39). And what did Joseph do? Joseph Obeyed
Then the Law required that Joseph and Mary go to Jerusalem every Passover, and so what Did Joseph Do? He Obeyed.
Now, what’s interesting is - we never read of anything Joseph SAID but we know what he did. And what did Joseph do?) HE OBEYED.
Joseph was the embodiment of what we see in this meme (the scene shows several doors… one of which is red. And the caption reads: “I am always content with what happens; for I know that what God chooses is better than what I choose.”)
In Jeremiah 7:23 God makes this promise: “Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people. And walk in all the way that I command you, that it may be well with you.” When we OBEY God… things turn out well. If not… well, that’s not good.
ILLUS: I have a grandson (Benjamin) that I love deeply - but he has an annoying habit. I’ll tell him to do something and he will reply – “WHY?” In fact, if he doesn’t want to do something he may just take his time getting it done. He’s not technically being disobedient, he’s just not in a hurry to obey. And it drives me nuts. He needs to learn the value of obeying even when he doesn't want to. God says - if you obey me I’ll reward you. And why does God want me to obey Him? Because – every once in a while – it’s gonna be really important.
ILLUS: I remember reading the story of a man who took his family down to Florida to visit some friends. The friends lived in a kind of wild section of the state and one day - while his boy and he were out walking - the dad looked back at his son… and froze. There above his child was a snake hanging down from a tree, and though he didn’t know if the snake was poisonous it could have been. And suddenly he shouted “RUN, SON…. RUN!” And the boy did. He ran to his father.
But now… why did the boy run? He hadn’t seen the snake. He didn’t realize if he was in danger or not. All he knew was that his dad had yelled RUN - and so he did. He obeyed his father and he escaped the potential danger that was just inches above his head.
In the same way, God wants fathers/ stepfathers/ grandfathers/ uncles (or any adult male who has any influence over a younger person) he wants them to model OBEDIENCE by how they listen to God. Obedience to God saves us from potential danger and heartache.
ILLUS: And how do you teach obedience? Jordan Peterson is a famous psychiatrist and he once said: “Being a father (father figure) is a relationship, and it’s a relationship you have to develop. Any time you spend with a child one-on-one, teaching them, talking to them, playing with them, listening to them, walking with them is encouragement because they need to learn to be adults. And they learn that by being around their male role models.”
We influence young people by investing our lives in their lives, and by modeling the characteristics God wants for us – whether we’re a father/ stepfather/ grandfather or uncle
One last thought – Joseph was NOT Jesus’ blood kin. He was a step-father, and Joseph literally adopted Jesus as his own son. Years ago, I heard something that made a difference in my thinking. A person noted that a few of the great men and women in Scripture were not raised by their biological moms and dads. In a sense – these great people were adopted.
Last week we talked about Esther. We don’t know what happened to her parents, but she was raised by Mordecai to be the woman who saved Israel from destruction. Then two weeks ago, we preached on Samuel. His mother gave Samuel to the priests to raise and he spent his entire life at the Tabernacle, serving God, anointing Kings and judging Israel. And of course, there was Moses. Adopted and raised by the daughter of the Pharaoh and ultimately led the people of Israel out of slavery in Egypt.
Each of these people became great people for God and they were all adopted! Just like Jesus. And just like us! Did you realize that when we became Christians we were adopted too. God took you and I and made us His children. He didn’t care about our background, or our education, or about our parentage. He loved us so much that He made us HIS children and works within to make us the kind of people who change our world. God adopted us.
Romans 8:15-17 says to us Christians “you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs — heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.”
And He adopted us when we believed that Jesus was the Christ, the son of the living God. When we repented of our sins and were buried in the waters of baptism.
INVITATION
